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Radiant (f)
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Hi guys!  Just wanted to know your opinion on a matter. What would you say to a lady who is considering having kids with a man who can afford to take care of her and the kids but won't marry him 'cause she thinks marriage isn't really worth it afterall? Many thanks! |
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haywhy (m)
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It all depends about the reason why the man is not worth it.
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jammin (m)
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marriage is an antiquated institution. many people have children outside of marriage, and those children grow up to be good and productive members of society. mind though , the cultural norm of the society in which you live, as there might be negative responses in a society that sees marriage as the standard for a family.
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ikamefa (f)
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@ topic
i would say go right ahead and do what you got to do!, if you can deal with all the negative response that come your way,
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jammin (m)
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and if you do find compatability in your mate, you'll notice that you will always be agreeing on issues  |
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Radiant (f)
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but won't marry him 'cause she thinks marriage isn't really worth it afterall? @Haywhy, It's not about the man, it's just her bad concept of marriage that wouldn't let her marry. |
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haywhy (m)
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Well, the lady might be right to have tot about such but she has to be brave & go ahead 'because the prestige & advantage of being happily married outnumbers the disadvantage.
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Radiant (f)
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But is it better going into marriage and end up miserable than stay on your own with a man to look after you and your kids? How many men will actually agree to live such a life neway  |
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haywhy (m)
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Looking at marriage at times could be shit but it's worth it, if only a happy one is achieved.
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crazykid (m)
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@Topic
I don't support the issue of kids outside marriage.
if you love someone enough to impregnant her, why can't you marry her?
or do you want your children growing up without a father?
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mukina2 (f)
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many kids today are being born out of wedlock . .
remember dating is different from marriage
thats why 99% of all marriages do not last long . .
you can love someone enough to have their baby
but you will be afraid of the life long commitment that is marriage . .
most people can endure the for better part but never the for worse part . .
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iice (f)
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So long as the kid is well adjusted and not having breakdowns (if they are wedlock related) i don't see that much of a big deal.
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frankiriri (m)
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I think that intentionally bringing children into this world without the attention of both parents is cruel.
There's no way single parent children can be well balanced.
If the person made a mistake or shit just happened , ok
but I don't think one should intentionally plan not to marry but to give birth
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naija4life (f)
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The lady in question should visit a shrink ASAP because i think she's got a nut out of place somewhere  |
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Eurphoria (f)
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@naija4life, not necessarily, many people have commitment issues don't mean they have loose nuts.
:Radiant
i think she should be really sure about herself and why she is feeling the way she does about marriage, i know it is not compulsory to marry, but her fear of marriage shows a fear of commitment and she need to tackle that before she has kids inside or outside wedlock, because having kids with someone is a huge commitment too. Its not all happy days
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ThiefOfHearts (f)
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I think that intentionally bringing children into this world without the attention of both parents is cruel.
There's no way single parent children can be well balanced.
lol sometimes I think people just let their negative minds cloud their sight. where did radiant say that both parents ARENOT around? How about reading her comment again. Also are you saying children of widows/widowers are mentally unbalanced? |
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Eurphoria (f)
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lmao
how you doing T.O.H
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ThiefOfHearts (f)
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I'm fine but very annoyed about my dead phone. How have you been? where did all the "fat" go?  |
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Eurphoria (f)
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hate you T.O.H  i told you to eat for both of us and guess what i put on 4pounds damn and there is still newyears celebrations to go, by end of jan i will be huge .   |
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Busta (f)
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Everyone 's got their views and perspective of life.
as long as she can take care of em and won't go on to bother the poor man bout the kids in the future.
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Radiant (f)
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lmao @ TOF and Eurpho  |
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Honey_pot (m)
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Radiant, where have u been? @ Topic Not a bad idea, just another cheap means of helping men achieve their procreative potentials provided both mum and kids' upkeep is entirely the lady's affair . |
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Radiant (f)
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Honey, don't be silly this new year! I travelled. Just came back today. Happy new year!
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Honey_pot (m)
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Happy new yr and welcome back Radiant. I'm just trying to adopt the wisdom of our forefathers. They were wiser, they had many children 'inside wedlock' from different women and made their wives take care of them and their kids |
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Honey_pot (m)
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Count me out of the lopsided deal then, free sex, free kids, an all-expense-paid life? haba, my middle name is not Santa |
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Honey_pot (m)
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But Radiant, u are yet to say your opinion on the matter. Does marriage worth the stress afterall?
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Gamine (f)
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think about how beautiful marriage is,
two people makin That decision, haba u gota giv em hand sha
these celebrities r makin it seem ok for one to divorce after a day of marriage
or to live with smone as a partner but not a spouse nd then hav kids
Marriage is beautiful and with the kids comin outa it, evn the more
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kimba (m)
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@Radiant
lets call a spade a spade. your friend is seriously screwed up. Forget the out-of-wedlock, many kids are born out of wedlock stuff,
She wants to have kids with a man who would take care of her and the kids "on a monthly allowance basis" but she wont marry him, yet she wants to be called mommy? shes wicked. Out of wedlock equals fornication and such a child is a bastard.
ask her: was that the same arrangement that her father and mother made before she was born. Why deprive a child of his right to a family. So at the end of the day, she'll finally see another man who can take care of her better than the first one, and the other guy will find another woman who wants another arrangement. Then both begin fucking around. Her second child might be from another man altogether. She might just become Mrs Jackson. and she'll expect such children to become responsible members of the soceity?
Before, women who had kids out of wedlock were ashamed of themselves. They couldnt say it in public that they even had kids. Now it has become a matter of pride.
methinks: the fact that she allows such a thought to cross her mind, shes sick already. Pray for her. She needs help.
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adconline (m)
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why bring kids to this stressful world when you cannot take care of them? Children who are born and cared for by both parents excel better in live
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fellow (m)
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@Radiant
lets call a spade a spade. your friend is seriously screwed up. Forget the out-of-wedlock, many kids are born out of wedlock stuff,
She wants to have kids with a man who would take care of her and the kids "on a monthly allowance basis" but she wont marry him, yet she wants to be called mommy? shes wicked. Out of wedlock equals fornication and such a child is a bastard.
ask her: was that the same arrangement that her father and mother made before she was born. Why deprive a child of his right to a family. So at the end of the day, she'll finally see another man who can take care of her better than the first one, and the other guy will find another woman who wants another arrangement. Then both begin fucking around. Her second child might be from another man altogether. She might just become Mrs Jackson. and she'll expect such children to become responsible members of the soceity?
Before, women who had kids out of wedlock were ashamed of themselves. They couldnt say it in public that they even had kids. Now it has become a matter of pride.
methinks: the fact that she allows such a thought to cross her mind, shes sick already. Pray for her. She needs help.
This world is really crazy, Something would always pop out of the blues. Imagine wanting to have kids but not ready to marry the father!!! To me it doesn't make sense.
Like my man said she needs not only prayers but orientation. |
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