Long Distance Relationships Good Or Bad

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Nairaland Forum  |  General | Welcome  |  Romance (Moderators: debosky, iice)  |  Long Distance Relationships Good Or Bad
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Author Topic: Long Distance Relationships Good Or Bad  (Read 4651 views)
Hairat007 (f)
Long Distance Relationships Good Or Bad
« on: August 06, 2009, 11:01 AM »

I met and fell in love with my present bf who resides in lagos, while i am far away.

but distance is fast becoming a great obstacle between us since we only get 2 see

twice or three times a year. I am really getting tired of d whole tin so fellow nairalanders,

wat do u suggest i do? pull out or have hope?
GEW
Re: Long Distance Relationships Good Or Bad
« #1 on: August 06, 2009, 11:06 AM »

Quote from: Hairat007 on August 06, 2009, 11:01 AM
I met and fell in love with my present bf who resides in lagos, while i am far away.

but distance is fast becoming a great obstacle between us since we only get 2 see

twice or three times a year. I am really getting tired of d whole tin so fellow nairalanders,

wat do u suggest i do? pull out or have hope?
patience and more patience.  both of u reside in naija you should be lucky.

if he is worth waiting for have hope with phone now easily available it should be easier
Kelvinj (m)
Re: Long Distance Relationships Good Or Bad
« #2 on: August 06, 2009, 11:22 AM »

Distance can realy be a prob. I culd remember ma 1st girl, hw we startd dating. Then she was in 9ja aldo we were all in d east(but different states). aft much much she traveld abroad guez datz wen distance palava came in, we tried 2 kip d flames burning but distance had an upper hand.phone/mails didnt help d situation either cos der is dis fire dat cums up wen u see sum1 u luv face 2 face.
Well 4 sum it could work out but 4 me i dnt like it 1 bit.
Vuitton (m)
Re: Long Distance Relationships Good Or Bad
« #3 on: August 06, 2009, 11:29 AM »

Really nice to see this topic as i had earlier considered creating something similar.
For me i think long distance relationship is a "LONG THING".

I have had relationships with two girls (at diff times), one was in the UK and the other was in the US. Oh boy, the thing is totally bullshit.
How do you cope when you dont see each other for a whole year  Huh I definitely cheated on both of them (if you call that cheating) and i also accept that they are liable to cheat on me also.
I am not a saint and dont expect my girl to be one either.

More recently this year, I have met a couple of girls who live in abuja, enugu and Port Harcourt (I live in Lagos). I have considered some of these girls worthy of courtship but the distance makes me refrain from taking our relationship further.

Long distance relationship is NOT good. However it can be managed if there is patience, faithfulness, trust and most of all love.
Kelvinj (m)
Re: Long Distance Relationships Good Or Bad
« #4 on: August 06, 2009, 11:38 AM »

@vuitton
exactly! Imagine not been wit sum1 u luv 4 a wk talk more of 1ce in 2yrs? Men, i cant cope @ all cos itz 1 of d top most causes of cheating
ezinne1212 (f)
Re: Long Distance Relationships Good Or Bad
« #5 on: August 06, 2009, 11:42 AM »

I dont believe in LD relationships. They usually move frm conventional to open to non existant relationships. If u don't see urselves being in the same country/state in the near future, then let go. Save urself the drama!
GEW
Re: Long Distance Relationships Good Or Bad
« #6 on: August 06, 2009, 11:49 AM »

Quote from: ezinne1212 on August 06, 2009, 11:42 AM
I dont believe in LD relationships. They usually move frm conventional to open to non existant relationships. If u don't see urselves being in the same country/state in the near future, then let go. Save urself the drama!
how do you explain the ones that work out without dramas?
Hairat007 (f)
Re: Long Distance Relationships Good Or Bad
« #7 on: August 06, 2009, 11:56 AM »

Tanx guys u re all making me feel better already.
GEW
Re: Long Distance Relationships Good Or Bad
« #8 on: August 06, 2009, 12:07 PM »

Quote from: Hairat007 on August 06, 2009, 11:56 AM
Tanx guys u re all making me feel better already.
make sure he is worth it though  cos knowing naija peeps he can sling you along without shame and conscience.

wish you luck
Hairat007 (f)
Re: Long Distance Relationships Good Or Bad
« #9 on: August 06, 2009, 12:37 PM »

@ GEW

Tanx bro, wld keep dat fact in mind. wat wld i have done without people like u.
MrWaters (m)
Re: Long Distance Relationships Good Or Bad
« #10 on: August 06, 2009, 12:39 PM »

Intuition tells you he's cheating?
Vuitton (m)
Re: Long Distance Relationships Good Or Bad
« #11 on: August 06, 2009, 01:38 PM »

Its not easy oh. . .
Return ticket from Abuja every month is a must if i want to sustain a relationship with the lovely girl i met online (facebook)
We both "claim" we love each other but the truth is my love aint blind cos i know we gotta be close physically in order to build on what we feel. . . Then considering the expenses i will undertake on transport, accomodation and flexing its better i groove with the bad girls in Lagos  Wink No regrets  Kiss
eniolape
Re: Long Distance Relationships Good Or Bad
« #12 on: August 06, 2009, 01:50 PM »

Is good but

It require a lot of patient, endurance, trust and love etc.


Hairat007 (f)
Re: Long Distance Relationships Good Or Bad
« #13 on: August 06, 2009, 03:35 PM »

Quote from: eniolape on August 06, 2009, 01:50 PM
Is good but

It require a lot of patient, endurance, trust and love etc.



Dear i have been patient enough, endurance- i am one who can endure anything, i trusted him

until recently and love, hmm God knows i still love him. see?,   Undecided Undecided Undecided
touchmeder
Re: Long Distance Relationships Good Or Bad
« #14 on: August 06, 2009, 03:44 PM »

m in one at the moment. its not easy at all. somedays m strong other times e go just tire me  Embarrassed but m committed to it thats all and i do my best.
i'd say the willingness to walk that path should be on both parties, where one begins to falter or question it, then i think its only wise to ask yourself tough questions and move on while one still has the strength
i'd say have a workable plan in mind. where do we meet at the end of the day. i dont subscribe to mere bf/gf for distant serious relationship, let it hopefully be leading to the ultimate
So make plans on how to be together real soon and put it in motion
i'd say communication finally talk talk and talk while u can. if it means u buying credit often or connecting to internet at home do it
patience, faithfulness, honesty (i.e if any party has had enough just say it out) plus God
its not for the faint hearted
Hairat007 (f)
Re: Long Distance Relationships Good Or Bad
« #15 on: August 06, 2009, 03:53 PM »

@ touchmeder

I am really grateful 4 wat u wrote. i normally do all u mentioned ie calls mails etc.

and i can assure u its not 4 d  faint hearted. Tanx
xoxoxo (f)
Re: Long Distance Relationships Good Or Bad
« #16 on: August 06, 2009, 04:00 PM »

both
tosyne007 (m)
Re: Long Distance Relationships Good Or Bad
« #17 on: August 06, 2009, 04:14 PM »

@poster, i can tell u emphatically that it aint easy!!!. I've been into it overtime, some didn't work out but i came out unscathed in the most recent one.

The most recent one was when my babe went for youth service in the nothern part. Initially, i thought it wont work out but it did. It did work out with a lot of contribution from both of us. I was calling her from time to time and i even travelled down to see her when i couldnt bear it anymore. She came home a few times too.

wat i'm saying in essence is that it's a two-way thing. Some could live with it while some wouldnt try it. It has to do with individual personalities. if u love him for real, i will advise u give it a shot but it's going to be demanding on both of u. Futhermore, both of u have to beef up your level of trust. There's nothing that creates/puts more doubt in one's heart than a distant relationship becos it's always hard to blv your partner's word when he/she is far away.

So, hang in there. Hold on to him, love him and pray that it works out.

best of luck.
galatico (m)
Re: Long Distance Relationships Good Or Bad
« #18 on: August 06, 2009, 04:38 PM »

I think if its in the same country, it's quite fair, but when it comes to Nigerian and lets say India or probably Pakistan then it's pretty crazy!!!
oribi (m)
Re: Long Distance Relationships Good Or Bad
« #19 on: August 06, 2009, 04:55 PM »

Has to do with commitment, if u truely luv he or she can b nywhere n it wont matter, i knw wht m sayin
Hairat007 (f)
Re: Long Distance Relationships Good Or Bad
« #20 on: August 06, 2009, 06:56 PM »

@ tosyne007

 i am glad your's worked out. tanx 4 your candid advise i hope mine works out too lol
Vuitton (m)
Re: Long Distance Relationships Good Or Bad
« #21 on: August 07, 2009, 06:26 PM »

Quote from: oribi on August 06, 2009, 04:55 PM
Has to do with commitment, if u truely luv he or she can b nywhere n it wont matter, i knw wht m sayin

Plz are you sure you know what you are saying  Huh

Even with love it matters A LOT
ThoniaSlim (f)
Re: Long Distance Relationships Good Or Bad
« #22 on: August 07, 2009, 06:32 PM »

Long distance is a nah for moi  Cool
Vuitton (m)
Re: Long Distance Relationships Good Or Bad
« #23 on: August 07, 2009, 06:34 PM »

Me too
Nija4Life
Re: Long Distance Relationships Good Or Bad
« #24 on: August 07, 2009, 10:19 PM »

It can work but it is very demanding emotionally, I've experienced it once and I wouldn't want to go through it anymore. The best way to sum up a long distant relationship is: "out of sight, out of mind"
Hairat007 (f)
Re: Long Distance Relationships Good Or Bad
« #25 on: August 07, 2009, 10:29 PM »

Quote from: Nija4Life on August 07, 2009, 10:19 PM
It can work but it is very demanding emotionally, I've experienced it once and I wouldn't want to go through it anymore. The best way to sum up a long distant relationship is: "out of sight, out of mind"



Wow, in a nut shell, u have just described my present predicament

u really have been dere, nd d only excuse i always get is work,work and more work

its so terrible.   Cry Cry Cry   
denny4ril
Re: Long Distance Relationships Good Or Bad
« #26 on: August 07, 2009, 10:30 PM »

i agree with nija4life. long distance relationship is demanding but can work out.

There are some secrets to it.

Get d revealed secrets for free at

http://romance-gists.blogspot.com

c u later
Akinagirl (f)
Re: Long Distance Relationships Good Or Bad
« #27 on: August 07, 2009, 11:28 PM »

Its not easy but it is very doable. It takes most of all patience and trust. But you also need to keep in mind, how long you all plan on being apart. You all need to reach a compromise about when (somewhere in the near future) you all will meet. Because holding a relationship on without plans to meet soon can become draning. Not to mention, both parties would get tired of it much sooner than later. You all need to make plans, not only to meet but to know where your  relationship is going and figure out who will move where and when.

Good luck, its hard yes, but its doable.
axeman85 (m)
Re: Long Distance Relationships Good Or Bad
« #28 on: August 08, 2009, 09:00 AM »

@ poster

Its very difficult because you dont see each other all the time, but notwithstanding it takes committment, trust, understanding, and trust from one another. its a very difficult situation thou but it always works as long as u remove every doubt of unfaithfulness from it, i am currently in one at the min and i am in uk she is in naija and we are engaged,  but i have had to go to naija 3times this year already as i am studying in uk at min but will be done soon, so she understands and we communicate all the time via phone calls, chatting. very stressful but if u love one another then there is nothing you both cant withstand.
erady (f)
Re: Long Distance Relationships Good Or Bad
« #29 on: August 08, 2009, 10:33 AM »

sis. it ain't easy @ all,,, cos am presently in 1 rite now,  even wen we both reside in lagos,,, there is still this distance thing going on in our relationship,,, i do the communication thing the most,, send him mail, try to be the faithful,, patience, girl,, but he still complains alot,  so i think understanding is the main thing in a distance relationship,, if the both parties understands each other,, there won't be a prob. @ all.
manmustwac (m)
Re: Long Distance Relationships Good Or Bad
« #30 on: August 08, 2009, 10:45 AM »

am currently in a long distance relationship or shall i just say open relationship. I've only seen her 5 times in about 3 years am planning to marry her this november. I don't even think am really in love just infatuated with the girl.
pappy4real (m)
Re: Long Distance Relationships Good Or Bad
« #31 on: August 08, 2009, 11:37 AM »

Quote from: manmustwac on August 08, 2009, 10:45 AM
am currently in a long distance relationship or shall i just say open relationship. I've only seen her 5 times in about 3 years am planning to marry her this november. I don't even think am really in love just infatuated with the girl.
u must be a man after your name. your name says much about your xter. u are basically after what u'll eat as in gain.
hairat i understand how u feel. it cld be very difficult loving some1 from a distance especially when u begin to consider the fact that u are not sure if d person is being faithful. but i implore u to follow your heart. u knw him-if he is really*10 worth the stay, then stay but if not, then look no futher, im here Grin Grin Grin Grin
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