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CimonJorr (m)
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What do you do when you find out that your girlfriend (or someone that you intend to marry) has had sex with two different men while you were not around (or out of the country?). And keeps "h-mute" about it - not confirming or denying it - even when confronted with the cold hard facts. Is revenge or retribution the best option?  |
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Adetola (m)
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Let's come to face it, frankly!
Nobody will ever take a case of cheating lightly. There is no justification for any reason that might be given for cheating.
Even in cases of rape, only one in a thousand men will honestly look at their wives or spouse mercifully, you will definitely find traces of jealousy in him for what happened. This may eventually lead to jilting.
But sometimes it is good that you hear her out, you might just be the one at fault.
Her justification or reason for doing such thing will tell if you are to revenge or retrench, depending on your personal judgement and level of disappointment.
But as for my own personal judgement, she will have to go on suspension for sometime for me to get over the shock, after which I may be lenient enough to her story and decide on what to do.
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Seun (m)
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Even in cases of rape, only one in a thousand men will honestly look at their wives or spouse mercifully, It is very, very insensitive of you to classify rape with adultery/cheating. It shows that you are one of the men who would desert your fiance or girlfriend if she is raped. Yet the same men will come around and call women 'irrational'. Who could be more irrational than someone who thinks rape and adultery are basically the same thing? Yes, it is true that most men would have trouble dealing with the rape of their wives and girlfriends. However, it is not a case of jealousy; it is a case of feeling like a failure. Most men see themselves as protectors of their girlffriends, their family. When a man's girlfriend or wife is raped, deep within him he feels like a failure for not being able to protect her from the assailant. This is the real reason why such men end up deserting their wives or girlfriends. So please, do not classify rape and cheating/adultery together; let us not bring disgrace to the entire male race. If my fiancee or wife sleeps with someone else, I honestly don't know what I would do. I guess I would first of all want to know why she would do such a thing. However, I don't understand why couples engaging in premarital sex make a big deal about 'cheating' when in fact you are the one who is 'cheating' his/her future husband or wife, since you probably won't marry her. |
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CimonJorr (m)
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Quote from Adetola: But sometimes it is good that you hear her out, you might just be the one at fault. In reply to this, how is it one's fault when one's sweeter half cheats? I don't get the logic. Are you insinuating that she was driven to cheat in one's absence? Please explain yourself, since I don't want to be pre-emptive here and accuse you of not knowing what the hell you are talking about.. To remain in a rational state of mind, let's suffice it to say that if and when you have a similar experience in the first person, then you'll know where someone is coming from. PS: It doesn't matter if Seun is in a relationship or not. There's no justification for rape, and cheating and rape are not even in the same universe, talkless of hemisphere. |
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smarth (m)
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No.
Somebody like me, even though I find my wife with another man in bed (not to talk more hearing it outside again) I will do her nothing because I want the best for her. Since she believes I am not the right person and she has gotten the right person, I am even cheating the right guy by keeping her in my house!
Think it through; I'm right.
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jummy79 (f)
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If I discover that my fiancé is cheating on me I will end the relationship right there and be thankful to God that I was able to see this before I entered into marriage with him and possibly had children.
I don't believe in revenge or getting retribution because it eats away at you and makes you a bitter person, even though your intent is to make the other person's life a living hell. It always backfires. By freeing me to find someone who would be better suited to me, I have already had the best revenge.
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CimonJorr (m)
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So... should the individual go 'scot-free'   |
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Seun (m)
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Yes. The offense is not punishable by law!
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Ra (f)
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To the best of my knowledge, no one who cheats goes scot-free. It's called nemesis and it manages to catch up with them in one form or the other, always. I should add 'sooner or later'... more often than not, sooner.  |
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babadudu (m)
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What do you do when you find out that your girlfriend (or someone that you intend to marry) has had sex with two different men while you were not around (or out of the country?) If it's someone you intend to marry: "mai fren', that one dey simpu: na to call off wedding now" ("my friend, that is a simple question. You have to call off the wedding.") |
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littlesaint (f)
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HHhhhhmmmm....... this is a difficult decision u know, .... Why is it that In our society when the man is caught cheating... nothing happens... they say its a man's world" so its normal abi? when the woman is caught cheating.... Everybody says its an abormination!!!! She must pay for it, she must be divorced. You must breakup with her. Yet for the man, they say, u must pray, u must get your man back, bla, bla bla. In as much as i cannot stand the act of unfaithfulness, (from both parties) i want to ask some questions here... Cimonjorr, For how long were u gone for? Was it a short business trip, or a course, or u went to study abroad, or went seeking greener pastures? Probable, u left the country for so long a time, and her 'liver' failed her that her bobo might not show up again or even if he does, maybe with another woman or some other stories.... she will now be left hanging and would have lost out in two ways.... Secondly do u have evidence that she actually did it or its just stories from jealous friends who are interested in having u for themselves? Hope most of u watch our local Super Story drama series.... there might be a lot of the likes of CARO out there u know. Please think well before u pursue your babe o. |
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uche777 (f)
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well ,havin gone through all the contributions of the fellow house me cimoorr (sorry i don't know if got that lol) is the only person that has the soln to its problems,everyone says his or her mind  but then it is he who wears the shoes know where it pinches him most,so my dear look into yourself to know if this is actually tru,then know if u can forgive her or not it depends on u focus your mindset on her: actually what works ffor one might not work for another. |
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twinkledew (f)
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i am tired and sick of hearing that dudes are allowed to somethings and the ladies aint. that is what i call crap aight. if me man can do some stuffs i believe i shld be able to do the same only if it is against me wish not to. if your wife cheats on u when u are away i believe u shld still marry her if u really love her. it is going to be a big decision that will take time tho but i believe people should learn how to forgive but if it is someone u do not intend to get married to plssssssssss drop the dude or dudedette ass plsssssssssssssssssssss. don't think twice. but if there is a reason behind it then resolve it between urseves  |
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littlesaint (f)
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Twinkledew, wait, wait, wait...... are you implying that Cimonjorr should also do same? As in cheat on her because she cheated on him? or you are saying if yourguy cheats on you, u will also do same? hhmmmm.....
Anyways, He said she has done it 2 times (if i am not making a mistake) and she has neither denied nor accepted the accussation when confronted with it. Yet you say he should go ahead and forgive, Let me have a re-think... , yes, i agree with you... he can go ahead and forgive afterall, even GOD himself forgives, but forgiving her doesn't mean he has to continue with the relationship right?
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twinkledew (f)
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little saint what i meant was that i am sick and tired of hearing guys saying that some girls can not do some certain things because they are ladies and only guys are allowed to. e.g they can not be players etc (call them sluts)to me its dump because if a guy can, and a girl's wishes is to go through that direction then she is allowed to. i don't play neither am i a player.  |
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hot-angel (f)
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Forgiveness is the best answer to your question. Forgive her.
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Grizzly (m)
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your galfriend or wifey can cheat on u till u die and u wouldn't know,, ,but revenge sounds definitely crazy to me
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b_e_b_e (f)
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Quote from: Adetola
Even in cases of rape, only one in a thousand men will honestly look at their wives or spouse mercifully It is very, very insensitive of you to classify rape with adultery/cheating. It shows that you are one of the men who would desert your fiance or girlfriend if she is raped. Yet the same men will come around and call women 'irrational'. Who could be more irrational than someone who thinks rape and adultery are basically the same thing?
Thank you for being a man of reason concerning the insulent comment adetola made. Holds my tongue or I will surely be banned from Nairaland due to the words that will flow from my mouth So please, do not classify rape and cheating/adultery together; let us not bring disgrace to the entire male race.
Please teach him! @CimonJorr The ultimate decision is yours my friend; however, don't allow the actions of another cause you to harbor bitterness. Life is too short! If you choose to stay with her, then work it out and let the past rest, and if you decide to leave, then be selective in future relationships but don't bring your previous experiences and impose them upon the new relationship. Good Luck to you |
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disney (f)
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This na serious topic o jare, Well, lf it happens to me, simple and short, cut the guy's toto and turn myself to the cops, the guy go learn lesson from me that he no go mess again in his life as in cheat with any babe while am in jail .lol . I call that Total Nonsense, |
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Rhodalyn (f)
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it all depends on the love u have 4 her
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