Should I tell my Family that I am GAY?

I am my father's first son and my family considers me a very successfull son, the pride of their eyes. I have done everything they wanted - gone to school, graduated top of my class, snagged a job that pays me 6-figures (in $) at a top international firm, arranged to have my sister get her masters abroad, bought expensive gifts for all my family members etc...

But there's one thing they don't know yet. I am gay. I have always been attracted to men (right from childhood). I have tried all my life to make it go away. I have fasted for days, prayed all night, cried and cried but I am still gay.

Recently, I have been embracing that part of me. I have been introduced to the underground gay community in Lagos and in Abuja. For the first time in my life, I became intimate with another man and I am making plans to transfer to the London branch of my firm. I am happy with myself. For the first time, I am not depressed. I feel free.

The questions is... should I tell my family? Or should I just continue pretending to be straight? Should I tell my girlfriend? I would appreciate all responses. Thanks!

Well, i don't know about telling your family. thats entirely your decision depending on your closeness to them, but please let that poor girl GO!!!Even if you don't want to tell her that youre gay, let her go! Its not fair to her especially if she thinks you guys have a future together. Good luck my bro., may God help you sort things out.

Gay?? I bet you live in New York City ha ha ha ha

hunnie...I don't think it's right to make your girlfriend think u are attracted to her when u really aren't. So my advice is that, You should tell her. And as for your parents.... Tell them too, or u could wait for later. But u know, as they say "the earlier the better". Just make sure you tell them in a nice way.. You should know your family members more than any of us do, or ever will.

You seem like a happy man being gay.. so i say, GO for it!

Let that girl go!!!
As concerns your family well that's delicate. You know them better so take your time and think well but keep in mind that you can't pretend forever. Maybe the sooner u let it all out and they start getting used to it, the better.

It's tough living a lie for a life.

@ Timmy

   
 

if he is in your mind to tell you family go for it, if not don't tell them. but as for your girlfriend please tell her, so she can go find her man, since you ain't him, the sooner you tell her the better.

@ moi
Why are you so hateful?
You say you're not judging but your post cannot possibly more judgemental

I just don't get you people 

@moi's post didnt seem judgemental to me, it was just his opinion...........

T DAVE l tjink l have this to say my point of view is there's nothing wrong in trying to live your life neither is there anythig wrong in being your self or letting the truth out (here) and to the public but the question is how would the world digest it?
first l'll start by giving you a big thumb up for your courage but........................... this is /was or is not suppose to be your best or last option for truth or rather advice,but neither the less am going to just have to let my own pice out

First u have to realise that what you're in to is not generally or not widely accepted by the public and in so doing you're getting no useful quote from no one.
Secondly u have a girl who knows nothing about your sexuality u did not tell us if u will be marrying her or not,but if u wont be marrying her what's the point telling her but if u will marry her start by asking her in a joking mood if she likes lesbians(first) then move on to asking her about gays and watch her reaction,let her give you her opinion and views if she's liking it or not what ever way.

That way u'll have no worries about her but l'd advice you to be married to some one

Just for everyone....Majority of the rich men in nigeria and in general the whole world....they turn gay as they advance in richness, power and popularity... I am not just blabing..I know it happens and I know them.....I have been a witness when I visited one of these notorious nigerian men in his hotel in wadorlf astoria, a hilton hotel in NYC.

To my greatest surprise, during yab time, a white male who also happen to be gay was yabbing the nigerian man..I could not contain what i hear but i keep it  to myself and pretend as if i don't know what is going on...and they were yabbing about their gay sex life...so ladies know it now..hold your man tight if you're lucky to marry one of these rich men. Dont just think the guy after your man is a guy so there is no problem..If possible find out everything before you loose him..

I am definitly going to be one of riches and I am learning from what i am seeing now....I have all the rich men surrounded around me but I still find my ladies attractive..I pray that God will keep this sizzling for a long time to come so I might enjoy all your holes in Jesus name ..Amen..

I personally think you are in a dillema here. Like they say; between the devil and the deep blue sea. A choice between ;

- a long latent biological feeling and your long cherished loved ones, biological relationships and your society.(You will definately loose their love and respect) 

- your preferences and societial norms.

- a sexual satisfaction against Your health, your peace(you will be loved by few and tolerated by some and hated by many), your geneology(You don't plan to have kids do you) . Let not talk about going to heaven.

I like counting costs to see if my choices are worth all its price.

I also understand that you have never fought your loved ones(Parents,girlfriend) etc but have sustained and nurtured their relationships with your achievements, expensive gifts etc., because you love them. On the other hand you have fought this habit and feeling all your life.

My advice is don't give up, winners don't quit and quiters don't win. Dont turn your back on your  world; your parent, your family, your girl friend, your reputation, achievements, your pride and true love for this transcient feeling. Its all in your body. You will get over it.

And if you are ever in doubt, go to- "Mountain of fire" , presume they got cures for such things

@all, i still feel we are not telling this guy the real thingy, lets spill the beans and face fact "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITHYOU" abeg face real life, you mean u'll rather go for a seun in 'byc' singlet than a hotangel in bikini's.. haba i wo tun ya to oo. .. see let me tell you one real fact your mum will curse you, your dad will swear for you, fine we all are sinners of all kinds but sodomy is to another level, abeg change your church(Anglican) and become a deeperlife member..

hiss... 

and come to think of it, i think ive been a little arsh on you, well here's a little "i'm sorry views for you"

http://www.beggingtodiffer.com/archives/Gay%20Batman.jpg
http://www2.hku.nl/~ronald/seminar/gay%20boy.jpg
http://subscribe.theonion.com/images/tshirt5_gay.jpg

hope they chear you up!!!

timmy, abeg take am easy oooo.buahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaha*dead*

@ timmy
i get your point and understand what u mean. why should i go for hottie in bikinis when i can go for seun in a byc singlet?
this guy in question sounds very happy to be gay and wants to stick with it. his mind seems made up and he's only seeking approval. so weather or not you agree to being gay, it doesn't really matter to him, all he wants now is tips on how to break the news to his lived ones.
in my own opinion, the whole thing is crazy