How Is It To Be A "White Wife" In Nigeria?

@ Miss Ife you asked about what it is like to be a white woman married to a Nigerian.  Let’s face it no matter what any Nigerian woman will say, they don’t know what it is like no more than if they wanted to know how it is being a Nigerian woman married to a Scottish man, they would want to hear the answer from a Nigerian in the same position.  You have gotten plenty of answers from many foreign women on their personal experiences and observations.  No one is going to tell you the down sides of their own people and they are going to sugar coat their answers.  If you want to see how people here view foreign wives, marriage and fidelity read the other posts on the site and the replies therein.  Some other posts are “should an American wife change for her husband?”, “would you date an engaged man?”, “real men cheat” and “why do women date married men?”.

i love how when i nigerian woman makes the same comments as many above had then she is rght but if a white woman makes the comment she is generalising.  other people have made the same observations and have made mention of it. you are a nigerian and therfor have no idea of what it is like being white in nigeria as i have no idea of what it is like to be black in the US.  if you were moving to china to get married would you want chinese women telling you what it is like or other nigerian women in china who can relate to your siuation?  you would pick the nigerian woman.  the woman asked and i as well as others replied on our personal views and observations.  that is what she got as well as the advice to view other comments made by nigerians about nigerians.  regardless of where you are from a person will always see and sayonly the positive to a foriener. you go to the us and ask about anything and your going to be told only the positive aspects of society and the same anywhere else.  when you travel to a country you dont seek advice from those who are fom the country but those who visited there.  the answers and opinions you will get from a tourst are far different from what you will be told from a local.  if anyoe has pure distane it is you

I dont know what experiences youve had, but I think Nwaka77 was the only one who replied to you in the negative. Almost everyone on this thread gave a negative answer to the posters question. So Im not sure youre alone in your observation on being married to a Nigerian man. Unfortunately they were negative, but true. A good 65% of african men are badly brought up and this reflects in their association with women.


You got that right. Everyone is warm to you, but its just show. We LOVE show in nigeria. That doesnt mean we arent genuinely nice. But until our women start to understand they have to bring up their boys with just as much severity as they bring up their girls, the situation will only get worse.
I love my country, but sometimes, the truth has to be said.

Lolll. Even as a native, when you get back, the drums are rolled out, but only for one or two days, after that, youre on your own. Thank God for family

LOOLL, it has drifted I know.

I think I'd like to know more about what it's like having a Nigerian spouse and living in Nigeria as a non-Nigerian.  The challenges as a non-Nigerian wife I believe are far greater than those as a non-Nigerian husband.

Not quite.  Marrying across cultures comes with far more challenges. 

In any case, it depends on what you mean by "being a black wife in the western world".  What type of black wife - North American, Caribbean, South American, British, African?  That would presume their culture is significantly different to that they are marrying into.  In the African, Caribbean and South American context, this is more likely to be true that not.  But to many Black American and Black British women, the "Western" world is all they know.

Ah you see, it's a bit more complicated.  The problem usually comes in if it's the woman marrying the man, because women are the ones who do most of the compromising/accommodating, and that is where culture will play a part.

Marrying across races doesn't necessarily mean it will be cross-cultural.  A White Brit marrying a White American, or a Jamaican marrying a Nigerian would be considered cross-cultural.  Black and white Americans marrying each other could be bi-racial but not necessarily cross-cultural.

For two people from similar backgrounds - as in the case of the grandchildren of first generation migrants who've only lived in the West along with their parents - the lines are a lot more blurred.  Hope that makes sense.

Make sure u have money for a return ticket for u and the children if it does not work out.
BITTER TRUTH