Laugh It Out With Ben-10

 :d

Until u let go of dat hen u do screw day & night

A pompous self made grocer named Bates gets his son into an expensive private school.

On day One, the whole family is there to see the little blighter begin his first day at  school.

The grocer, his family in tow, saunters into the principal's office and introduces himself thus: "I am Sir Shortweight Bates. This is my wife, Lady Bates, my daughter Miss Bates and my son Master Bates."

"Oh does he?" asks the bemused principal, "we will soon get him out of that terrible habit."

A married man goes to confessional and says to the
priest, "Father, I had an affair with a woman, 
almost." "What do you mean almost?" question the
priest. "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but
then I stopped."

"Rubbing together is the same as putting it in," explains
the priest. "You're not to go near that woman again. Now,
say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box."

The man leaves confessional, says his prayers, and then
walks over to the poor box. He pauses for a moment and then
decides to leave.

The priest quickly runs over to the man
and exclaims, "I saw that,  you didn't put any money in
the poor box!" "Well Father, I rubbed up against it and,
like you said, it's the same as putting it in!"

"I'm worried that I'm losing my wife's love," the husband told the counselor.

"Has she started to neglect you?" "Not at all," the dejected man replied. "She meets me at the door with a cold drink and a warm kiss. My shirts are always ironed, she's a great cook, the house is always neat, she keeps the kids out of my hair.

She lets me choose the television shows we watch and she never objects to sex or says she has a headache." "So what's the problem?"

"Maybe I'm just being too sensitive," the husband ventured, "but at night, when she thinks I'm sleeping, she puts her lips close to my ear and whispers, 'Die! You son of a bitch, die!

A little boy was attending his first wedding.

After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded.

His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know
that?"

"Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"

It will do you good to stay away from moi, mr. mess

OMG i cant stop rolling on de floor, i had to send the reverend fr stuff and the man @ de grave to all my contacts. Mr. Ben, u are de bomb, keep it coming,

I love that song that means i love you that means i wanna have a baby by you and be a millionaire

old men see vision

how the girlfriend sale? heard u kidnapped six recently.

I never requested for any ewu

talk well na, lab rat.

Yes that not your beeswax

hic*