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Yinka_the_Great (f)
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Just recently I got a chance to meet my cousins in Greece and Nigeria. How can I start a positive relationship with them? I'm a bit lost.
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Seun (m)
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YInka, you need to tell us more.
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4evah (f)
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i think its a bit easy just try to get to kno each oda n workk thngs out only if deres somethng u still need to say as seun sd..
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Yinka_the_Great (f)
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Sorry LOL I was a bit vauge huh? Anyways heres the full story: my father is from Nigeria and my mom is from America, We live in America. Way back when, for whatever reason my dad stop talking to his folks back home. Because of this I never got to talk to any of his family. Just recently my father started to talk to his family again after like 20 years . So he gives me all these numbers and some calling cards and tells me to talk to my cousins and aunts. I'm a shy person and I don't know how to speak Yoruba , so I don't know what to say when I do call them. hope that clears things up!
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Seun (m)
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Try asking your dad to introduce you to each of them one at a time. Since he's the one who is primarily related to them, he should be the one to introduce you. Be prepared - you may have no common interest with any of them, but it's ok.
Others will definitely have better advice
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4evah (f)
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If they understand English, you can speak to them in English. And if you think they don't sound interested in meeting you, I think you should just tell your dad and let it go. But still, try your best getting to know them better; I think you'll really like (if they turn out good) to be back with your long lost family.
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salako
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Send the young ones dollars and the promise of more on a monthly basis. Then you will have a financial relationship they will always remember and love you for. Send pictures of yourself and the people in your life coupled with letters, for familiarity sake.
Good Luck!
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Motee (f)
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With dollars according to Ajsalako, you will win the heart of most of them. Infact you will soon meet some of the great, great, extended family who are not directly related to your great, great, family from your father's side.
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nucca (f)
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i agree with motee, then you can truly become 'yinka the great'
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mide2 (f)
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Send the young ones dollars and the promise of more on a monthly basis. Then you will have a financial relationship they will always remember and love you for. Send pictures of yourself and the people in your life coupled with letters, for familiarity sake.
Good Luck!
With dollars according to Ajsalako, you will win the heart of most of them. Infact you will soon meet some of the great, great, extended family who are not directly related to your great, great, family from your father's side.
i agree with motee, then you can truly become 'yinka the great'
I don't think you can get a better advice than these 3 up here......infact you will find out you are related to almost everyone in Nigeria. Give it a try and report back to your board of trustees - (Salako, Motee and Nucca)  |
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chinani (f)
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When you call, get their email and physical/mailing address. That way you don't have to depend on the time (remember the 7/8 hr difference) for communication. Email can also be more "casual" and you can send them funny things, ask them questions, etc. They can answer in their own time. I think snail mail is a great idea too b/c it takes time and consideration which always shows. Get as many addresses etc as you can. In the beginning some will write you back and some will not. That's o.k. b/c some are shy, busy, or not family oriented at the present moment. But the ones you do speak to will educate/inform the others so when you go and visit they'll have a general idea. Unfortunately you are a shy person doing a bold man's job. But, I encourage you to persist no matter how the initial reaction is. The pay off will be HUGE! And it will benefit you alone. (Your dad seems to have his bases covered etc.) I'm all for the dollar bill idea but make sure you can't "tell" there's money in the envelope.  |
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