For The Love Of Birthdays

At my very young age, I've heard different pronunciations of the word “birthday” from different people from different walks of life (in my home country)- from the “posh” to the downright “razz”. I know you’re already wondering if I’m going bonkers but I’ve discovered that each of these connotations has a distinct meaning. Let’s see if any directly applies to you, or if you think I’ve missed any out, you can send you own addition to the ones I have. Let’s start:

Bath-day: Have you heard this one before? Of course! It’s usually used by the 40-90yr olds mostly of Yoruba origin (from Lagos, Ogun or Oyo) who are educated but just cannot get the hang of the “ir” sound. Thinking of the meaning, it reminds me of those crazy old days in secondary school when the birthday boy or girl got a ‘bath” with minerals. “God help you” if you didn’t bring a spare uniform. The ants would kiss you all day and you would feel so sticky.

Buff-day: This one is used by kids (the aje-butter ones) who can’t get (yet) the “ir”sound. The verb “buff” means to polish a surface till it shines and the noun is a garment or item of clothing. So I’m thinking, this is the day when you put on “shiny clothes”! Ain’t I smart?

Buy-day: The “razz” people use this one. Gosh! Maybe because they’re going to be buying stuff on the day or because the expect you to buy stuff for them. You ask them! You know them better…,

Bet-day: Some people look so young and beautiful; they are simply ageless and usually rich. They’re sometimes found on the pages of  magazines(pls not City People) .On their birthday people guess their age and take bets, staking money, cars, houses, etc. However, this “word” is used by the wannabes, the razz ones striving to be posh. Also, be warned that while you might lose your valuables, the celebrant is not affected. She probably had her party without inviting you.

Beg-day: Why should you beg for birthday presents? If you really deserved them, you would get at least one. What group of people pronounces birthday this way? I don’t know. I’ve only met one of such people.

Bev-day: Alcoholics or lovers of free drinks and food coined this one. They were probably thinking of the free supply of “beverages” or the bevy of gatecrashers that would appear at your birthday party. Or…….maybe they just didn’t attend the phonetics class at school.

Bed-day: If you can’t get out of bed on your birthday because you are so old. That’s fine. If you’re saying bed day, because you can’t pronounce, get a teacher fast!

Bad-day: You haven’t paid off your debt from the last “society” party you had. You owe and another birthday has come. Then it might truly be a bad day for you. You’re not so old but all your bits are worn out and falling off from overuse. C’mon sis! It’s your not-so-bad day. At least you’re alive and your lace-front wig hair, push-up bra and acrylic nails are still firmly in place. Uncle, I know it’s a bad day for you because each of you 6 girlfriends has planned to spend the day with you. Good luck!
Some of you just say bad day because of your bad phonics. Which is more difficult? “ir” or “th”? Practise the easier one first; I could get my Ayomide to help you.
Baff-day: Everyday is a baff day for me because in 9j “baffs” are nice clothes. I’m sure this one is deliberate slang by Warri boys. Or are they saying “barf” from overeating? Their problem, not mine.

Butt-day: If you get a bigger skirt or slacks every year then you are allowed to call it just that.

Birthday: The proper spelling and pronunciation of the word. Meaning: the day of one’s birth or the anniversary of a birth. Simple!

…. xoxo
Yinx



Glossary

Posh-      people like me, lol. Elegant, fashionable, upper class
Razz-      some other people. 9ja term for the opposite of posh.
Yoruba-    an ethnic group in my country. Fun loving, sociable, people.
Minerals-   razz name for fizzy drinks or sodas. Are you not Nigerian?
Aje-butter-   children of the posh.
CityPeople-   it’s supposed to be a magazine
Bevy-      large group of people
Ayomide-   one of my nieces
9j-      my home country
Warri-      a place in my county. Need I say more?
Barf-      vomit