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clem2love
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Can You Bear It?I have this girl that i intend to marry. Do she is not that beautiful but educated also with a child before we meet. I approach and she give everything. Three after our meeting she became pregnant and put to bed a baby girl for me. As if that is not enough my parent became angry at me. Decide to make fool of me because I don't have money then to pay for my feeding and other amend. I prayed and god answer my prayer now am working and my parent still fight me. Finally they drove me out. And slept in friends house for four day and realised am to rent my own house so as to have rest of mind. Now paid for my rent finally. They want me back in there house. What should i do? And my wife is been question that she change me into a  ??
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justwise (m)
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I HAVE THIS GIRL THAT I INTEND TO MARRY. DO SHE IS NOT THAT BEATUFUL BUT EDUCATED ALSO WITHA CHILD BEFORE WE MEET. I APPROACH AND SHE GIVE EVERYTHING. THREE AFTER OUR MEETING SHE BECAME PREGENANT AND PUT TO BED A BABY GIRL FOR ME. AS IF THAT IS NOT ENOUGH MY PARENT BECAME ANGRY AT ME. DECIDE TO MAKE FOOL OF ME BECAUSE I DONT HAVE MONEY THEN TO PAY FOR MY FEEDING AND OTHER AMEND. I PRAYED AND GOD ANSWER MY PRAYER NOW AM WORKING AND MY PARENT STILL FIGHT ME. FIBNALLY THEY DROVE ME OUT. AND SLEPT IN FRIENDS HOUSE FOR FOUR DAY AND REALISED AM TO RENT MY OWN HOUSE SO AS TO HAVE REST OF MIND. NOW PAID FOR MY RENT FINALLY. THEY WANT ME BACK IN THERE HOUSE. WHAT SHOULD I DO? AND MY WIFE IS BEEN QUESTION THAT SHE CHANGE ME INTO A ?? Don't go back, this is the time to be a man, stand on your feet, work hard and look after your wife and that baby. |
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scottN (m)
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Forgive them but drive the message that they can no longer control your life anymore. You are now a man with responsibility and that comes even before them.
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julian_H (m)
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They Meant (and still mean) well for you.
No matter how old we are, we are still the babies.
The most important thing is that you now have a job and a house of your own.
I do not know how old you are but man you are now a man.
I really, really admire your courage of wanting to settle down with a lady with a kid.
I used to have this (really) wonderful and sweet girl who also had a baby but i was not courageous enough (like you) to want to introduce her to my parents cause of sigmatization.
I still miss her i must confess.
I wish you the very best and I (just) know that you will never ever regret your action.
I also admire her courage for lost of girls would have aborted those kids.
This brings to mind the question why Nigerians frown at single ladies with kids?
Most Churches does not even wed such people!
Is that not encouraging abortions?
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clem2love
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HOW DO I DO THAT AFTER I JUST PAY ME HOUSE RENT NOW.
THE MONEY IS NOT REFUNDABLE YOU KNOW THAT LAND LORD DONT LIKE REFUND.
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clem2love
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I WAS KICK OUT OFF CHUCH FOR THAT TO SIT AT THE BACK SEAT FOR MONTHS. WHICH I DID FOR LOVE SAKE. DO YOU REALLY THINK AM DOING THIS FOR LOVE?
FOR THE CHILDREN SAKE
EVEN I AM ASK TO REMARRY ANOTHER WOMAN SHE WILL NEVER TAKE CARE OF MY CHILD LIKE THE MOTHER WILL DO.
THAT IS MY MAIN REASON FOR STAYING WITH HER FOR BETTER OF R WORSE WITH HER OLD BABY AND MY NEW BABAY.
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julian_H (m)
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Are You considering going back to your family house?
Please do not do that.
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clem2love
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FOR WHAT?
I AM USE TO LIVE WITHOUT BATHING AND BRUSHING AND EATING.
I DONT THING I WILL BE WELCOME IN THAT KIND OF HOME.
I AM NOW A JUNGLE BOY,
HMMMMMMMM
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scottN (m)
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Don't you even think of going back. Are you going to stay in your parents house forever. Besides as a man in this life it boils down to you and the woman of your life. Your family and others are just there to give you support if you need it.
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clem2love
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Thanks you mine friend.
if people like you be with yaradua i hope Nigeria will be great because you have what it take to be an adviser.
thanks
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julian_H (m)
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Do not worry; it will be okay.
It is okay to:
Perspire or even despire,
But do not ever retire!
There is no good thing that comes easy.
He (GOD) will SEE you through my friend.
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speachless (m)
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Guy u cant keep
living in your
fathers house 4eva sooner or later u will have live in your own house.
So i think u did d rite thing as a man.
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AWELEWA02
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Have you forgotten that you are a man,I dont even expect you to ask that kind of question,do you want to live with your parent with your wife and the kids forever?If you try it, they will frustrate your life for you and your wife.
Thank God for the courage you had,continue staying on your own,if they like, let them come and visit you,if they like, let them not come.You have your cross to carry as a man.God will be with you and the kid.Enjoy your life man.
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Kunbee
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FOR WHAT?
I AM USE TO LIVE WITHOUT BATHING AND BRUSHING AND EATING.
I DONT THING I WILL BE WELCOME IN THAT KIND OF HOME.
I AM NOW A JUNGLE BOY,
HMMMMMMMM
Thank God u know |
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CrazyMan (m)
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Its ok to be at peace with your parents.
But you must realise that you're already a father; for someone of your status to be squatting with his parents would be shameful. So remain in your rented apartment, but be at peace with them like I mentioned earlier.
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olanajim (m)
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I goes with crazyman in a way. Be at peace with your parents. And remember you are now a father. That mean whatever you decide, you should take the two sides into consideration. But your wife is no more your gf. With kid between you and having gone this far, it would be a sad end if you eventually leave the lady to make your parents happy. The good news is that your commitment to her is still firm and strong.
I am however surprise to hear of the church incidence. That is unfair to you.
My take is that you should build a bridge.
Whether you make peace with your parents or not, it is wise that you stay at your own house for now. They will resume hostility when you return to them as long as they dont like your wife.
Instead, visit your parents once a while. And explain to them you have made your choice. If they cant accept your wife and kid, there is nothing you can do except to limit your visit to say, once a month. And if they accept the lady and kid, the two of you can visit them once a while but not live there.
@some mentioned that some clergy wont officiate for single parents. That is because the society is blinded by prejudice. If the single parent is a man, and rich, he can remarry and earn God blessing. If a lady, whether she was a victim or not, she is expected to live the shame. The options for people like that are numerous. God is not the author of confusion.
@poster,
What is the problem with your wife, apart from her ugly face, that make her the subject of such extreme hatred? There must a reason for your parents to treat her that way. Can you think of any?
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Donvilo (m)
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In as much as it is good to make peace with one's parents, but it isn't advisable that u go back and live with them.  Bro, u hav gotta know that u're already a man and u got a wife and kids to take care of. So better get up and prove to your people that u aren't a failure. Atleast u now got a job and a place to live. As for your parents and your church members, Do not worry about them. God's gonna take care of them as time goes on. Good luck.  |
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ZUBBYNWA (m)
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My guy p/s bears it, go baack to your parents just consider how your parents suffer to train youtill the age of manhood you cannot count out yourself because of a little misunderstanding remember that aparents is a parent no matter what.
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collins465 (m)
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am so happy that you are taking responsibilities on your own. Be a man you are and move forward, make good plans with your woman concerning the future and always pray together. you can visit your parents once in a while. doing so will keep your prestige in the family and the neighbourhood. and dont forget to avoid temptations.
cheers,
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Nezan (m)
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Na wa-o  |
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collins465 (m)
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My guy p/s bears it, go baack to your parents just consider how your parents suffer to train youtill the age of manhood you cannot count out yourself because of a little misunderstanding remember that aparents is a parent no matter what. he is not quarreling with his parents. is time to be a man, besides he has payed for house rent and he is now used to the new life. try and understand. |
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denony (m)
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Let them know that you are not angry with them any more
and let them know that you have to use this opportunity
to take your responsibilities, and be a man.
It's worth doing man
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r231 (m)
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don't go back jus make peace with your parents and try to take care of your girl and your child
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Preetybuoy (m)
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Wat d f*ck is wrong wit u cant u write sumtin easy 2 read. haba!! My advice dnt listen 2 dem thats injustice b a man n dnt take bullshit |
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Seun (m)
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You're going through a really rough time, but things will ll get better if you stay focused.
Going to live with your parents will help you financially, but it won't help you grow as a person and it will be harmful to your girlfriend. They will make her life hell on earth. If that's how you want to repay her, then go back.
But I think you should stop having children until your situation improves. Use a condom or get a vasectomy and let your girlfriend start using the pill. For at least 10 years. You need to be a wise man, man, so you won't be poor forever.
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too_soon
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Thanks Seun for the piece of advice, i have gain knowledge from it.
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toba (m)
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Guy honour thy father&mother says God.U've got to submit to dem but not give dem 100% control cus u're now a MAN
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MUNEER2 (m)
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If truly they made you go through all those because of your girl friend, then, you had better start thinking about not going back there, you'll have yourself to blame at last. I wish you best of luck in all you endeavors |
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finemocha (f)
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from your post i dont think i like u. but i wont insult u sha
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