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Orikinla (m)
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Is marriage not boring?
Especially when you are married to the same person for life.
Is monogamy realistic? <<a different topic entirely>>
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English1 (f)
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It's down to the couple to stop their relationship getting boring.
Lots of couples have life-long marriages. My parents have been married for 55 years and are not boring, therefore their relationship is not boring.
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yankidelta
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well i hope ma marriage is fun because me i dey quick tire 4 one thing 4 too long be it food,sex,u name it so i hope it wont affect me when i get married  |
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culasi (m)
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Marriage can not boring. I guess the partners make it boring. There are things to be done to spicen up a marriage. Well seek a Marriage counselors advise.  |
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Honey_pot (m)
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Yes, monogamy is realistic. Marriage was designed to be so.
Is marriage boring? I hope not, because i may want to withdraw into my shell and be alone awhile. The thought of having a woman hanging around u, constantly seeking ur undivided attention can be scary sometimes. I can't cope definitely, except i marry a girl i love dearly and enjoy staying with
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feelgood (m)
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Is marriage Not Boring? At times it is and many times , it is fun - just like any other relationship or
social entity. Even life at times could be boring, and that doesn't mean you'D want to leave it( except of
course, you are a loonie, suicide bomber or deceived/misinformed religious zealot)
Staying with the same spouse for many years brings about a special bond you cannot get anywhere else.
That's why you find a spouse who has lost a partner they've shared decades together not quite remaining
the same afterwards. I love my marriage and would go through the same again if that were possible.
The beauty of marriage takes an even more significant part when the children have grown and left to start their own lives.
Then, a couple are back alone and begin to rediscover themselves.
But then, if you are a boring person yourself and you have a gloomy outlook of life, then I feel sorry for your spouse.
Marriage is an adventure with a lot of treasures not yet discovered. It gets better as it ages just like wine. Those who 'resent'
it or don't want to be a part of it don't know what they are missing. Ask those who have lost their spouses or separated from
loved ones.
Marriages where there are physical abuses of the weaker are aberrations - one or both of the folks must have lost it at one point.
They should never be the example, just as armed robbers shouldn't be an example.
Aahh, Marriage, THANK GOD FOR MARRIAGE!!!Hi, Millie if by any chance you come across this thread, I use this opportunity to
say what you've always known: I LOVE YOU AND THANKS FOR MAKING OUR UNION WHAT IT IS - REALLY COOL ESPECIALLY IN THIS
WORLD OF CONTRADICTIONS.
@ALL
May your marriage be a blessing to you, your family, the society and to all who will have the privilege of getting to know you. May it turn out
better than ours and that of your progenitors. Remain blessed and JUST FEEL GOOD!
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Mystique (f)
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Its amazing how wives are expected to be monogamous, but husbands are not  |
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ThoniaSlim (f)
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@mystique
i wonder also ohhhhhhhhhh
@topic
hhhhmm marriage can never be boring it just depends on the individuals to make it intresting,and once both partners continue loving and being faithful to each other then it could never be boring cause it would you would always seeor learn something new about your partner each day.
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tEsLim (m)
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Men I don't know. Marriage could be boring o! I don't know sha! I'm hoping its just as we'll think. But as a man you can get an extra winter wife in London. Your winter wifey will spice up things when its getting dry with the Hamatan wife in naija
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Orikinla (m)
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My parents were happily married till they passed on. But I have lived with a girlfriend and I got bored. Now marriage is a life sentence.
May God give me a fun loving wife and not a boring wife.
Again, why do women always like to be pampered?
I don't have the time to pamper anyone.
The orphans of war in Darfur and Sudan don't know what comfort means.
If I have to pamper her, then I have to pamper others too.
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tEsLim (m)
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Now marriage is a life sentence. He no easy my brotha |
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Busta (f)
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funny topic
but i believe its better if u're married to right person. Life in general ain't a bed of roses.
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Geolalisa (f)
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Marriage is what u make out of it,if u want it to b fun or boring,is all left for u to decide.
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Easyy (m)
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Marriage can not boring. I guess the partners make it boring. There are things to be done to spicen up a marriage. Well seek a Marriage counselors advise. Many marriage counsellors cannot even make their own marriages work |
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Easyy (m)
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There's nothing in life that's always just a bed of roses.
There are challenges in every sphere of life and it's up to the individuals to go through the challenges or let the challenges go through them.
Let's not use story lines written by writers as the guide for any marriage, neither should anyone try to use movie scripts because they are very unrealistic. They only exist in the imagination of whoever wrote them.
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danniecool (m)
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Marriage is not boring at all, it is the greatest fun in man life especially marring to the person you love with all your heart.
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white`Nkem (f)
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As all other things, marriage has its ups and downs too. Boring? Maybe, sometimes. But why? Blame the people, not the institution of marriage! It's all up to you to make it work, to spice ur life, to get crazy from time to time, to remember the good days, to make every move diffrently so boredom will never fit in ur home. That's one of the reasons people have wisdom and sense. To be able to dicern good from bad and to know how to build up the right path.
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yemmydavid (m)
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Marriage can be very boring after a while.
what is d new thing u can discover from someone u av lived wit for ova 5 years?
Its very difficult to keep a Relationship (boyfriend/girlfriend) for as long as 3year not to talk of spendin ur life wit one particular person, In that case y don't we just keep eatin one type of food (carbonhydrates) all our lives (na kwashoko we dey play wit so o)
Now to be very honest,marriage can actually be very interesting dependin on the people involved and i pray mine would be as INTERESTING
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Docfabe (m)
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In marriage, you let your relationship mature further. You learn so much. From perseverance, assistance, guidance, to raising a family of your own. It should be viewed as a growth phase and maturation goes with it. More challenges come through and shows your mettle. It shouldn't be boring but more exciting. Frequent spicing of the relationship is necessary though by living like 'back in the days' when it was fun. Marriage is a consolidation of a mutual relationship between 2 consenting adults. If things work well till the thought of marriage, it shouldn't go wrong, ever.
Even apparent boring times can turn out very great.
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Radiant (f)
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Boring marriage? That's not even as scary as when the whole drama starts and never seem to end.
Don't wish for any 'cause Heaven knows I WILL WALK OUT!!!*sighs*
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Oke_amu (m)
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I am going through this in my relationship right now, I guess am too sensitive for her mistakes and she knows it. Always begging for forgiveness. One day i will just not forgive her. We have sort of have strong bond b/w US.
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doubletree (f)
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can be boring,frustrating,sad but also happy, fufilling and exciting. a couple grow and adapt to each other in marriage.
nothing stays the same forever,
circumstances change people,(having kids,losing ones job or having a more demanding job,death in the family etc).
Coping with these changes can make or break you.
If you find yourself unhappy in a relationship.take a step back and figure out what may be going wrong.talk and listen to your partner.
still keep your friends and go out with them.
make time for yourself and your partner- go out together or even just watching a nollywood movie together late on a sunday night(kids finally in bed) and laughing together at some of the ridiculous story lines can work wonders.
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Radiant (f)
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Thanks to Nollywood!  |
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Hmm
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How many of you guys responding are actually married?
Marriage is not what you read in Mills and Boons, its a lot mopre complicated than that.
The first 2 years of marriage is very very turbulent, lots of quarells over little, irrelevant issue. The babe you thought was very docile and understanding grows wings overnight and becomes very opinionated. Things you used to do which she never complained about become big issues. It becomes a contest of will as each party tries to define some basic ground rules. Sex between the couples is very hot and intense at this stage, infact most times the parties use it to settle quarells.
If you survive to the 3rd year then the marriage starts growing you two understand each other at this stage, know what causes quarell and would have developed diplomatic approach to sensitive issues, learn to keep quiet and ignore certain issues, have mutual respect for each other. The friendship starts growing at this stage. If you are blessed with a kid you two would start planning or the future of the kid as she starts going to school. Sex becomes regulated, not as often as before. The kid helps to regulate this. Men may start having flings outside at this stage to fill in the missing gaps.
By the 5th year the marriage has settled down. Sex is now once a week. The 2nd and/or third kid is around. Madam is very busy with the kids all day and has very little energy for sex. She is probably not looking as hot as she used to, when you two met. afterall she has dropped 2/3 engine. You two communicate very well at this stage, you can second guess each others thoughts on certain issues, you both understand the corporate plan for the family and are probably working towards owning your own home. This is the stage during which the man may have a smallee outside just to spice up his sex life. The couples need to work very hard to jump start their sex life, spice things up with Victorian secrets, lunch time/weekend getaways, crazy stuff just to reinvent sex.
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jesse_ose (f)
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:)when u just got married it be fun for say a few months, then things starts happenning that can make u regret marrying but all those things pass away with time and when u compare ur life now that u are married to when u were single u find out that ur life is better now than it were then to me marriage is not boring as long as u av kids to show for it nd more especially when there is love in the relationship, the truth is that most of us espect too much from our partners we want it to remain the way it was when we were dating but it can't be so, the earlier we realise that the better for us. |
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nobby
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Frankly speaking, the issue of marraige is one that is of great importance. I personally have had series of relationships and come to understand that apart from marrying the one you like or the one that likes you, there a whole lot to it.
Its actually not boring but an institution for mature minds that have a common focus. Why I say this is because it entails a re-development of your interests, character(very important), spirituality and focus. Consider this experiment:
AIM: The aim of the experiment is to get an entirely new product
APPARATUS: Three glasses, one containing Coke, the other Fanta and the third empty.
PROCEEDURE: Half of the coke is poured into the empty glass and the other half thrown away, half of the fanta is poured into the third glass where the coke was poured into and the remaining fanta thrown away.
RESULT: An entirely new product is gotten which is neither coke nor fanta in colour, taste,look or name.
This is my view of marraige. Two parties coming together from diff backgrounds with different interest ready to do away with their experiences and excesses, ready to have a common focus.
The following questions arises: R u ready to explore positively and take correcetion when corrected? R u ready to have a common focus,if so be ready to come to a compromise on issues that are pertinent(finance,spirituality,investments,aims and goals,issues concering your relatives etc), R u ready to tell your partner the truth as you see it with love, patience and understanding?
These are very important issues for a marraige to be fruitfull and exciting BUT note, these are issues that must be trashed out even before marraige while you still dating so that you know if the person is the right one for you and if you can be the right person for your partner. We all need someone that fits our lives to correct, accomodate, tolerate, love and be fair to us for us to have a blissful marraige.
Theres a lot more to talk about but I choose to stop here. Take care all and have a good life because lifes good and we can't afford to make a mistake for just this 1 life we've got to live!!!!
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sweetthang (f)
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Orikinla,
you said something about women wanting to be pampered and you living with a girlfriend that bored you. You seem to be forgetting that you are at least 50% of your relationship and that you have as much power as your woman to make the relationship interesting, fulfilling and rewarding. Success in any relationship is not all about finding the right mate; it’s about being the right mate.
If your relationship or marriage is boring, please check yourself, the problem may lie with you. I know marriage is not without it’s ups and downs, but we need to realize that marriage is not an entity with it’s own independent existence, WE make the marriage .If your marriage is boring, it’s either you are not with the right partner or better still, you are BORING as a person.
One more thing, if you want a loving wife and not a boring one, you have to learn how to pamper women.
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zarah (f)
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Well let it be for those who are indeed thinking of it.
as for me I NO DO. Kapish.
Thinking of it alone gives me goose bumps. Can't imagine being with one person for better or worse, till death do us part. damnnnnnnnn (it's so scary)
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kellybaba (m)
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Mayb i shld introduce a dimension we r nt considering here.The genesis of dt institution.
It is an insitution packaged by a Big Spirit.It is God's design and w/out Him bin at d centre,It would def b BORING !
Invite HIM daily in2 ur Home. IT IS NOT BY POWER,NOT BY MIGHT
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Sir Kay (m)
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Handle it prayerfully before going into it.
By the grace of God, my marriage is going to be 11yrs this June and it's been lots of fun, though there were very few troublous times. Our kids, 2boys and 2girls have been so wonderful. Even bought a car for my wife last year to celebrate our 10yrs wedding anniversary.
Prayerfully, we make it work everyday. It's just like yesterday and we've got no regret.
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