How To Take Care Of Your Wife:

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Nairaland Forum  |  General | Welcome  |  Romance (Moderators: debosky, iice)  |  How To Take Care Of Your Wife:
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Author Topic: How To Take Care Of Your Wife:  (Read 3411 views)
dayokanu (m)
How To Take Care Of Your Wife:
« on: October 10, 2009, 03:17 PM »

In the world, one single rule applies to the men: Make the Woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.


Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES

-- You make the bed (+1)
-- You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
-- You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
-- You go out to buy her what she wants (+5)
-- In the rain (+8)
-- But return with Beer (-5)
-- You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
-- You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
-- You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
-- You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
-- It's her pet (-10)



SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
-- You stay by her side the entire party (0)
-- You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)
-- Named Tina (-4)
-- Tina is a dancer (-10)




HER BIRTHDAY

-- You take her out to dinner (0)
-- You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
-- Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
-- And it's all-you-can- eat night (-3)
-- It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can- eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10)




A NIGHT OUT

-- You take her to a movie (+2)
-- You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
-- You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
-- You take her to a movie you like (-2)
-- It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)
-- You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)


YOUR PHYSIQUE

-- You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
-- You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
-- You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
-- You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)




ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION

-- She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]
-- You hesitate in responding (-10)
-- You reply, "Where?" (-35)
-- Any other response (-20)


COMMUNICATION

-- When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned _____expression (0)
-- You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
-- You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
-- She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)

Emperoh (m)
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife:
« #1 on: October 10, 2009, 09:48 PM »

I have been waiting for +10000 or +20000
Wetin happen nah?

And what about cheating on her? WHats the points for that>
Ebonyeyes (f)
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife:
« #2 on: October 10, 2009, 09:52 PM »

I love this Kiss
Missy B (f)
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife:
« #3 on: October 10, 2009, 09:59 PM »

Very hilarious . . . .I likey. Cheesy
Emperoh (m)
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife:
« #4 on: October 10, 2009, 10:04 PM »

Quote from: Missy B on October 10, 2009, 09:59 PM
Very hilarious . . . .I likey. Cheesy

Quote from: Ebonyeyes on October 10, 2009, 09:52 PM
I love this Kiss
'Why una no go like am. . . . .no be women empowerment we dey talk of? Undecided
Ebonyeyes (f)
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife:
« #5 on: October 10, 2009, 10:06 PM »

Quote from: Emperoh on October 10, 2009, 10:04 PM
'Why una no go like am. . . . .no be women empowerment we dey talk of? Undecided
After so much oppression by your gender?
TOYOSI20 (f)
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife:
« #6 on: October 10, 2009, 10:09 PM »

~So subscribing!! Cheesy Cool Grin

But seriously, making a woman happy really makes for a great foundation for any relationship!!

dont care if u've been together for thirteen days or thirty years!!
Emperoh (m)
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife:
« #7 on: October 10, 2009, 10:11 PM »

Quote from: Ebonyeyes on October 10, 2009, 10:06 PM
After so much oppression by your gender?

Or when u try to use emotional blackmail to whips into line? Thank God for Polygamy
At least i can marry as much as i want!! Tongue Tongue
Est-ce que ca t'interresse?
Missy B (f)
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife:
« #8 on: October 10, 2009, 10:20 PM »

Quote from: Emperoh on October 10, 2009, 10:04 PM
'Why una no go like am. . . . .no be women empowerment we dey talk of? Undecided
Forgive me . . . but like every human, I love to be treated rightly. Cheesy
Ebonyeyes (f)
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife:
« #9 on: October 10, 2009, 10:27 PM »

Quote from: Emperoh on October 10, 2009, 10:11 PM
Or when u try to use emotional blackmail to whips into line? Thank God for Polygamy
At least i can marry as much as i want!! Tongue Tongue

Est-ce que ca t'interresse?


Goodluck with that, make sure you stock up on ibuprofen when your house becomes a battlefield Grin
TheSeeker (m)
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife:
« #10 on: October 10, 2009, 10:29 PM »

Dayo, na you open eye write these things? You get time oooo
sweeti14 (f)
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife:
« #11 on: October 10, 2009, 11:21 PM »

roflmao Grin Grin i absolutely love dis Kiss Kiss Kiss Kiss Kiss
deji2009
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife:
« #12 on: October 10, 2009, 11:22 PM »

Nice
Shola2009 (m)
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife:
« #13 on: October 10, 2009, 11:59 PM »

Quote
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)
lol. Cheesy Grin Grin its supposed to be, You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." =divorce attorney hotline
oge4real (f)
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife:
« #14 on: October 11, 2009, 12:03 AM »

cool. Cool
stillwater (f)
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife:
« #15 on: October 11, 2009, 12:55 AM »

Funny.
Akinagirl (f)
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife:
« #16 on: October 11, 2009, 02:30 AM »

Love it.
kaypinchi (m)
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife:
« #17 on: October 11, 2009, 08:15 PM »

Nice1. Hilarious.
A great way to end the weekend.

Got (-18) for my deep noisy laughter sha.
Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Grin
posakosa (m)
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife:
« #18 on: October 11, 2009, 08:20 PM »

@OP: Cute and very funny,  hahahaha!  Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool
aomom (m)
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife:
« #19 on: October 11, 2009, 08:50 PM »

cuul but it gonna be diffcult for me cux am alwayz the busy type

but one thing u shuld put into consideration is that it may work for some ppl while to some no.
human being are different
ochukoccna
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife:
« #20 on: October 11, 2009, 09:12 PM »

 Grin wow Grin
femilangy (m)
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife:
« #21 on: October 11, 2009, 09:18 PM »

@ Dayo my main man . . . . nice one. . . . . . .funny this is coming from u though. . . . . Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin
r231 (m)
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife:
« #22 on: October 11, 2009, 09:47 PM »

nice
Atreus (m)
Re.
« #23 on: October 11, 2009, 09:51 PM »

I never make the bed.
Secretz (f)
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife:
« #24 on: October 11, 2009, 10:11 PM »

LOL   Cheesy
,mama-gee (f)
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife:
« #25 on: October 11, 2009, 10:14 PM »

How about rules to make a good christian? Undecided
Igwe.
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife:
« #26 on: October 11, 2009, 10:26 PM »

damn! so hilarious, Cheesy Grin
davidif (m)
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife:
« #27 on: October 11, 2009, 10:48 PM »

EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT POST.

Dayokannu, you the man. This is the best thing i've read on nairaland since sagamite's "What Nairaland Female Members' Pictures Say To Me."
http://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-316937.0.html


Once again, this is an incredibly funny thread, the -8000 had me going. By the way, where did you get this one from?
rita@NL (m)
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife:
« #28 on: October 11, 2009, 11:34 PM »

My kind of man  Kiss Kiss Kiss Kiss
y me (f)
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife:
« #29 on: October 11, 2009, 11:40 PM »

thumbs up bro Kiss Kiss
Outstrip (f)
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife:
« #30 on: October 11, 2009, 11:56 PM »

lol
trekkie
Re: How To Take Care Of Your Wife:
« #31 on: October 12, 2009, 01:30 AM »

 :d ;d :d ;d
 When Is ''cheating'' Cheating?  Is 4 Years Too Long For Courtship?  Virginity Is Not Dignity,it Is Just Lack Of Opportunity  Page 2
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