Game Concepts And Stories

Hi i'm Jack writer and I made this topic for anyone who want to put their creative concepts,stories like me.This is my first concept.I hope it's good.
Brione
Story:Once upoun a time in a peaceful world of Casteriz,everyone votes for the new mayor SalleWhitebrush.But one day Bady a gangster along with Socky kidnaps Salle.Who will save her now?It’s all up to the police man Brione to stop Bady once and for all.
Gameplay:The game is a 2d platformer.The player’s goal is to rescue Salle and defeat Bady.Brione can run jump punch and swim similar to mario games.But instead of a goal line at the end of the level,the player has to capture crooks as much as possible or atleast
Catch the crook with a key to get access to the next level.There is a timelimit for every level.If the clock keeps decreasing,more crooks will disappear.When all crooks disappear the game ends with a gameover sign.If the player collects the “Awsome Mooo”Brione’s hands can change into mechanical tools like a hammer,shovel,driller etc,allowing him to solve puzzles or catch harder crooks.If the player collects money from crooks,Brione can go to mints and unlock secret levels.At the end of each stage the player must fight a boss.Once done the player can access to the next stage.
Okay the story may be boring but at least the gameplay is interesting.So how is it?