[POLL] Grand Finale: Nairaland's Greatest Rapper (group Tourney)

Its ass-whooping time

Time to draw the line between real poets and wanabees
Time to put them where they belong - with the feaces
Time to make their existence take its place in history
Time to show the whole world. My crew and me got chemistry
   and we gon' do it. 2007!

Holla Magneto.

Nice to see most peeps back from Hols, so let's have the finals on Friday - Saturday (5th and 6th January 2007) So we can leave the thread open for at least a week before we decide the winner, so guys,

5th & 6th, Friday and Saturday First week in 2007, drop your lyrics.

Thanks for your usual cooperation.

@Competition
I'm about to draw first blood.

The naijafan triology.

Volume 1 - The Dressdown

Starring: The Lecturer, Tianshie, Paddy_Lo and Big Shishi

Tianshie.
Hi everyone. My name is tianshi               (what?!)
Since i bin rollin wit faggy_hole, I foresaw this 'big shishi'   (concept from gbade.x)
Now i'm scared, everyone knw i lied on this forum
why d heck did i do that? now i look like a fcukin moron   (yeah baby)
i actually don't freestlye, shishi writes 'em for me
then i come blastin away here, claiming to be a real G      (wow)
I'm really sorry, but what else could i have done??
I never knew it would get this serious, was only doing it for fun
And there's this little' secret i thought you'D like to knw   (go 'head)
. . . the winner of the last tournament was toosyno {sobs}   (damn)
how? i stole some of shishi's unfinished lines
he caught me, but i paid him off not to bare my ass.      (haha, fcukin faggots)

Paddy_Lo.
I guess you all knw me, I've been called all kinds of names
faggy_ho, padded_hole, paddy_hoe, what da fcuk?!
i'm based in philly, that's where my crib at
oh shit. i guess i just pooped in my pants!         (gross)
. . . .
e yo, i'm back. where tha fcuk was i at?

Big Shishi
{walks to the stage, looks round, then runs off without a reason}

Tha Lecturer.
I'm n'fan, y'all can please call me the lecturer
I'm about to put this methafuhz through a meth-lecture
Y'all claim to be KICKIN but you can't even BALL, PLAYERS
Got yo fate sealed like a ram during ileya
I see you guys feelin my BARZ like you suckin on CHOCOLATE
Yet, I come wit one LUV, but all y'all want to do is player HATE
But believe me pussies, I'ma TAKE YOU OUT like its a DATE
deliver fatal PUNCHES like i learnt from my dad in the SENATE
I'm a REVOLUTION, i'D betr sign with da ill WILL (wheel)
bout to show the world who i am, no longer can conceal
I'm like a crazy LECTURER, y'all can't step up to my CLASS
even when ya approachin, in a FLASH, i'D be out like i'm DASH
my body's smoking like i wz snoop, doggson's da middle name
my tech hits you so hard you'll ne'er remain the same.

                                                      TIANSHIE
                                                   Touch down in hell

                                             Tha king as tha mythical dragon
@magnet,naijafart& worm
Who got more game than this big cat, I spit gats
blow up your chest when my speech clap- believe that
I flow deeper than a knife stab wound to tha head
trying to touch mine get chopped up by whistling lead
my game tight like a cat's grip, dope like a sniff
that's why it kick like a hindleg smash up your teeth
only time magneto bust is when I punch his lips
pinch his nuts with a tweezer,squeeze he start to drip
lyrical snipers I see through y'all fakers like holes in walls
you ain't got balls enough eunuchs couldn't fit in my draws
I keep it real like finger jabs in your eye
snap your spine against tha pressure of my bars then I watch you recline
only when naijafan fly is when I'm whackin his chest
then watch him sail out tha window where tha fcuk's tha snake
you couldn't crawl past my lines metaphors is mines
rip your scales like samuel jackson with a smokin nine
I'm so sick dr.dre got infected
that's why when I drop my sh*t your whole crew squat like I intended
my lyrics plunge deeper than blades in ceasar
so I ain't got to say "Think" at every punchline like you comedians
this is war! guard your rear or get lyrically blasted
mentally assaulted,cut up,bagged and chucked in a casket
now paddy comin wit a desert eagle perched next to tha colt
so watch this pu*ssy wannabe wordsmiths grab their nuts and bolt.

Chorus
We inflammable spit fire then spit brimstone
torch your maynes then stupid we torch you too
no one can mess with metafuh mataduhz we still tha dons
leave tha lyrical sniperz with 3rd degree burns

                                                 Paddy_lo
                                            STREET SMART                                           
                                           (1)     STREET
Mataduhs be the dons,we be long gone evade popo err day have them niggas looking forlon
am the reason fake cats wrap up they bitches at home like teflon
cause u should never leave your dame next to me u are forwarned
One step to me she gets a whiff,puss be wet all morn
212 by Carolina Herrera,yes that be ma cologne
We mataduhs we got our paper,niggas call me bishop don juan
pimp yo whore,"wheres ma dough",she aint got it you are the next john,next pawn
am a pimp,make u suck d*ck all day,till your dentals be all worn,ass all torn
We don't follow no rules,f*ck u and your main man,or your mans mum
Who want to tess me,wig split,your bitch clit be all big,I know u like the way I shine,naijafan be that stalker,fake emcee I aint got no room to dine on ma table,nigga u tell fables,go sit down watch some cable,learn your style and go write about shit u aint able,to do am the dude whos been there,call me chris brown cause I run it, paper tectonic, fly supersonic got your bitch she a leech,suckin on me cause am rich,I got that niche,we don’t snitch,ma niggas don’t breech the street codes,we live bold,snatch your jacket and your fake Gold,want to compare your paper better multiply tenfold,Fool I got bitches in they thongs,in ma kitchen making fillet mignons,after that we up in rooms,come burstin on they tongues
We henney sippin,condo flippin pussydippin,str8 pimpin, leave y’all limpin,fools I got Jamaican thugs that pack,white girls selling crack out of they crack,they be high and shit and be like"yo paddy this cracka’s on crack",Fools I just sit back like the mack,watch u fake fools trying to attack,what u fools know bout doing shotz of Redheaded sluts wit redheaded sluts in V.I.P after that its red headed sluts lickin nuts,doin anything I want,u bitches don’t stunt,nah this aint a taunt
Am just telling it like it is,hate it or love it I handle ma biz
Am that nigga your bitch going to miss,got that bitch on her knees
Open her mouth and spray her like piss,after that u both still gon kiss
Bet now u wiping your lips,fool u never seen a pimp like this.


Chorus
We inflammable spit fire then spit brimstone
torch your maynes then stupid we torch you too
no one can mess with metafuh mataduhz we still tha dons
leave tha lyrical sniperz with 3rd degree burns

                                                         TIANSHIE

                                                Touch Down In Hell II
                                                Tha end of competition
       
                                                    @ lyrical slackers

It's that time of tha month so I'm LEAKIN thoughts on tha lyric PAD
squeezin bloody flows through ducts that make my lyrics fab
beware it's on like switches at chernobyl nuclear reactor
tha way I spit at precise angles I should be nicknamed protractor
naijafan couldn't blow up if he had elephantiasis
he only drop hard his lyrics when I'm hacking at his harnesses
I'm so DOPE you gon' need REHAB after this JOINT
I stay on TOP like tha BOTTOM when the anus is moist
spit electric lines shock and then reverse magneto's poles
so tha only sh*t that nigga attract is flies when he flows
this DIAPER WRAPPER aint got SH*T on me
mo'erfucker I peeped your bars now you're trippin like you won tha lotterey
I'll make you see red like pupils embedded in clits
rippin you is easy moron similar to partin a zip
I'm so FLY I got JETLAG when I'm sailin on beats
lyrical slackers on them knees screamin 'Mataduhz beasts!'
you can't contain us like giant mammaries in 'A' cup bras
best you can do is bust a valve,sulk or wish on a star
rock tha spot like mount gibraltar quakin
spit more barz than robben island wit mandela in the can rakin
magneto on QUICKSAND when my lyrics SINK
took my advice about tha 'Think' you fcuken simpleton I'll make your game extinct
this ain't a battle it's a simulation
we through wit these nintendo sh*ts, where's tha satisfaction?
I'm bout ta take a lick.

Chorus
We inflammable spit fire then spit brimstone
torch your maynes then stupid we torch you too
no one can mess with metafuh mataduhz we still tha dons
leave tha lyrical sniperz with 3rd degree burns                                             
                                             
                                         Paddy _lo
                                              (2) SMART
This nigga called Magneto?, then please call me O.J, cause I will slay
you and your bitch(naijafan) and still be set free by Lance Ito
I am raid and you are a mosquito, try to buzz too close I spray and its Finito
Naijafan u lecture?,Please watch as I take over your stage,show you whos the real Mentor
Since u fake asses watch ma every move call me Ben Bernanke
Don’t know who he is? Well he's the Fed chairman up here in Yankee
Watch as I show u cats the depths of ma abilities, ma versatility
School u fools about interest rates, Fed funds and trading equity
MasterCard (MA) IPO was in late may or so, saw an opportunity so I decided to check it out you know
Went online to see if it was a bust or a blow, still in low 40's said to myself 'damn that’s too low'
so I took ma time took the Initiative. . . MAGNETO: Did you buy the stock?
MY REPLY: No I bought the Derivative!. . . .MAGNETO:Deriva. . . .what!!?
Nigga sit down, close your mouth and let me lecture,i know you are dumb,but i'll take questions later
Same goes for the rest of u Sniper Fakers, shut your traps sit your ass and bring out your jotters
See a derivative derives its value from something else
Call options, put options, interest rate and crude futures might ring a bell
so i bought 20 October call options, strike price 40, betting MA was worth more than forty
with a call option u control 100 shares so that’s pretty nifty
every dollar move of the stock above the strike price nets u 100 dollars
Multiplied by how many call options u have there in your corner
So here’s a test Snipers, Snipe at this if u learnt it
Though you guys are so retarded u still go*na flunk it
MasterCard release earnings stock jumps to seventy in a heartbeat
How much dough did this flashy nigga paddy make? You fucking deadbeats. .

Chorus
We inflammable spit fire then spit brimstone
torch your maynes then stupid we torch you too
no one can mess with metafuh mataduhz we still tha dons
leave tha lyrical sniperz with 3rd degree burns

                                                       Touch down in hell

                                             Tha king as tha mythical dragon
@magnet,naijafart& worm
Who got more game than this big cat, I spit gats
blow up your chest when my speech clap- believe that
I flow deeper than a knife stab wound to tha head
trying to touch mine get chopped up by whistling lead
my game tight like a cat's grip, dope like a sniff
that's why it kick like a hindleg smash up your teeth
only time magneto bust is when I punch his lips
pinch his nuts with a tweezer,squeeze he start to drip
lyrical snipers I see through y'all fakers like holes in walls
you ain't got balls enough eunuchs couldn't fit in my draws
I keep it real like finger jabs in your eye
snap your spine against tha pressure of my bars then I watch you recline
only when naijafan fly is when I'm whackin his chest
then watch him sail out tha window where tha fcuk's tha snake
you couldn't crawl past my lines metaphors is mines
rip your scales like samuel jackson with a smokin nine
I'm so sick dr.dre got infected
that's why when I drop my sh*t your whole crew squat like I intended
my lyrics plunge deeper than blades in ceasar
so I ain't got to say "Think" at every punchline like you comedians
this is war! guard your rear or get lyrically blasted
mentally assaulted,cut up,bagged and chucked in a casket
now paddy comin wit a desert eagle perched next to tha colt
so watch this pu*ssy wannabe wordsmiths grab their nuts and bolt.

Chorus
We inflammable spit fire then spit brimstone
torch your maynes then stupid we torch you too
no one can mess with metafuh mataduhz we still tha dons
leave tha lyrical sniperz with 3rd degree burns
                                       
                                               
                                          Paddy_lo
                                            STREET SMART                                           
                                           (1)     STREET
Mataduhs be the dons,we be long gone evade popo err day have them niggas looking forlon
am the reason fake cats wrap up they bitches at home like teflon
cause u should never leave your dame next to me u are forwarned
One step to me she gets a whiff,puss be wet all morn
212 by Carolina Herrera,yes that be ma cologne
We mataduhs we got our paper,niggas call me bishop don juan
pimp yo whore,"wheres ma dough",she aint got it you are the next john,next pawn
am a pimp,make u suck d*ck all day,till your dentals be all worn,ass all torn
We don't follow no rules,f*ck u and your main man,or your mans mum
Who want to tess me,wig split,your bitch clit be all big,I know u like the way I shine,naijafan be that stalker,fake emcee I aint got no room to dine on ma table,nigga u tell fables,go sit down watch some cable,learn your style and go write about shit u aint able,to do am the dude whos been there,call me chris brown cause I run it, paper tectonic, fly supersonic got your bitch she a leech,suckin on me cause am rich,I got that niche,we don’t snitch,ma niggas don’t breech the street codes,we live bold,snatch your jacket and your fake Gold,want to compare your paper better multiply tenfold,Fool I got bitches in they thongs,in ma kitchen making fillet mignons,after that we up in rooms,come burstin on they tongues
We henney sippin,condo flippin pussydippin,str8 pimpin, leave y’all limpin,fools I got Jamaican thugs that pack,white girls selling crack out of they crack,they be high and shit and be like"yo paddy this cracka’s on crack",Fools I just sit back like the mack,watch u fake fools trying to attack,what u fools know bout doing shotz of Redheaded sluts wit redheaded sluts in V.I.P after that its red headed sluts lickin nuts,doin anything I want,u bitches don’t stunt,nah this aint a taunt
Am just telling it like it is,hate it or love it I handle ma biz
Am that nigga your bitch going to miss,got that bitch on her knees
Open her mouth and spray her like piss,after that u both still gon kiss
Bet now u wiping your lips,fool u never seen a pimp like this.


Chorus
We inflammable spit fire then spit brimstone
torch your maynes then stupid we torch you too
no one can mess with metafuh mataduhz we still tha dons
leave tha lyrical sniperz with 3rd degree burns
                                     

this one na rap or exhibition of a chronic case of irresponsible behaviour?

 

Ah i have it!

Exhibition of a chronic medical condition known as the American wannabeeoid syndrome

Symptoms include:
dislocation of brain and tongue,
infantile and juvenile deliquency

 

Na me be "my son"?

Carry go my daughter! 

wait for me! i'm hopping off too! 

yo, guys i'm sorry men,  i've been so hooked up recently, i've not been online till now. u know how it is. but don't worry, i'll drop my isht 2moro. Chris, i hope u cool wit that.

@naijafan
see u holding the fort down playa, that is tite bro. keep doing your thing. . . i'm here now!

@metafucks
y'all can't be serious, dropping em wack ass isht. tsk tsk tsk!

Chorus:

Hell No!. . .// (no)
who that ugly bitch that be knocking on my door//  (door)
tianshit with that worn out panty_hose in her draws// (draws)
begging me like, "please can i suck your cock boo?"//  (who?)
aight open wide, close your eyes. . . <click-clack> BOOM!!//  (Boom!)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

first off, let me saw your breasts off//
dump your asses in the *404, like u was fresh dog//
u little horny bitches really trying to flirt a nigga, but//
i don't give a fcuk, 2 fcuks, or even a *metamess//
your washed out rhymes can't shine, youse a fuckin waste of time//
i'll slam lyrikal holes in your back, leaving u without a spine//
y'all be claimin matadors, so all your talk is bull//
Sniperz appearing on the scene got u crapping hot stool//
tianshit couldn't spit sick with HIV on his lips//
fcukin homo peeped my bars, the nigga started to trip//
now ma name been in your mouth more than faggy_ho's privates//
bitch please, don't let me make u hold slugs like a human clip//
even when u high on viagra, cumming hard is a sad illusion//
thats why your chick gets more pricks than a fuckin pin cushion//
wannabe rap king, (lol!) only ice u got are cubes from mama's fridge//
fcuk around and u'll get buried in the dirt like a tree//
faggy_ho, panty_hole, dude u aint even worth this//
still i'ma rip them nike shoes off'n your running lips//
acting all superstar, with them nursery ass rhymes//
u got more bitch than Olivia, u couldn't take whats mine//
even my weakest bars stay tighter than a virgin//
random punches(line) to your skull gon' leave u "star-gazing"//
rubbing your face with vaseline's the only time u get to shine, punk//
i'ma strap some C4 to your ass, now your sh*t is da bomb//
even your mum knows your wack, she warned ya, but u refused//
heck, u been dumped so many times u should be tagged, "fairly used"//
y'all metafucks couldn't survive this lyrikal carnage//
like a tsunami in your town, your experiencing a sweeping damage//
Da Sniperz got red dots circling your dome like tupac bandannas//
fuckin twitch your lips and u'll get split more than a banana//
quit dropping wack ish, go home n practise, learn some new tactics//
even young Naijafan schooling your asses, like he teaching mathematics//
Lyrikal Sniperz be ripping diapers, like these baby ass (w)rappers//
drowning your rat squeals in our heavy flows, like we the pied pipers//
competition aint existing might as well move on up//
trampling on our slain foes as we access the top//



*
404 = calabar slang for dog meat
meta = '3' in yoruba