? N Ans

These jokes are sexiest against women but are v funny!!!

How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry It!

What are the three fastest means of communication?
1) Television
2) Telephone
3) Telawoman

What should you give a woman who has everything?
A man to show her how to work it.

Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
Because they don't have balls to scratch.

What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, she's been told twice already.

If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?
You made her chain too long

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me, '

How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 95%,
It's called a Wedding Cake.

Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

Women will never be equal to men,
until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

u talk or u no talk u are all of the above

You try?@ poster

@dani1luv

i dey fear u o

your warning messages well received with big tnx

no 4 my hand o

@flexystar

Your sister is so ugly, when she was born they put tinted windows on the incubator.

Your sister's hairstyle is so ugly my cat has coughed up better looking ones.

Your girlfriend is so ugly she went to a dog show. And won.

Your so ugly that they made you the ice hockey goalie so you'd have to wear a mask.

Your so ugly the only dates you get are on a calendar.

Your so ugly that if you threw a boomerang it wouldn't come back.

Your clothes are so bad even a scarecrow wouldn't wear them.

Your mother is so ugly her tears run down the back of her head so they won't have to see her face.

Your girlfriend is so ugly even the garbage collectors won't pick her up.

Your so ugly, you shouldn't play hide and seek, no one would look for you.

Your so ugly they call you the exterminator, because you kill bugs on sight.

Your father is so ugly he fell into the Amazon and scared off the piranhas.

as for my girlfriend if u see her
your d***ck will erect for d rest of its life

REASON: When u remember her

Hhmmm but what can i say?

if na me dem give those yabing ehh i for go hang myself

who one commit suicide, i get robe here better still poison or preferable buffer solution.