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stiyke (m)
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Proposed Movie Script, Comments Needed
Hi guys/gals,
Please am new to nairaland. I am in the process of making a nigerian movie, so i was wondering if you guys would be kind enough to comment on the proposed script. All comments are welcome. Thanks here is the script below.
SC1 Ext picnic location day
Shot opens on Nonye, Chike and Ikem. They were talking about there picnic.
nonye
I love it here. Chike you chose a nice location for our outing. Am just wondering how you were able to discover this place.
Ikem
Yea me too. Anyways you know Chike and his ways. He always gets to know all these hidden places.
CHIKE
Ahh. Comeon Guys so am now a bad guy cause i brought you guys here?? This is my first time here you know.
IKEM
But you have always been a bad boy. Thats why your girlfriend left ,
CHIKE
Ehh. Ehh. Bros hold it there. No just talk reach that side!
NONYE
Give him a break. I don't think chike is bad boy. Cynthia left him cause she couldnt discover the great man in him.
CHIKE
Yea she couldnt. OOh but i miss her, am always unlucky in love.
IKEM
Because you love too many at once.
CHIKE
Craze dey worry you. You wan show yoursef here?? Where the too many dey?
NONYE
Guys Guys. We don't need to go through all this. You guys should find something better to talk about.
Shot focuses on a lady coming out of the hotel door and walking towards the picnic pack.
NONYE
Guys check her out. You know who she is?
IKEM
No i don't i think she is one of the guests.
CHIKE
Yea she is a guest. i saw her checking in.
IKEM
I knew you would have seen her checking in and even talked to her. Laughs. So is she game??
CHIKE
i go soon cure you your craze.
NONYE
Guys.
IKEM
As if you don't like her. Come on tell me you don't find her attractive.
CHIKE
Yea i find her attractive so what??
NONYE
I think she is coming here.
New girl comes introduces herself as Ann.
Ann
Can i join you guys??
NONYE
Sure you are welcome. Am Nonye, thats chike, and thats Ikem.
ANN
Am Ann and its nice to meet you guys.
CHIKE
So Ann what could have brought you out to this hidden risort??
ANN
Well lets say i was so bored in the city i wanted to have a break and fresh air. Besides i have been working myself too hard recently.
Ann walks towards Chike to play with the swing.
ANN
Can i have a swing on that??
CHIKE
Sure i can push you to get u started.
Chike helps her on.
ANN
So whats the deal with you guys? You guys are friends or brothers or what.
CHIKE
Yea we are friends. Ikem is my cousin, and Nonye is his girlfriend.
ANN
Thats interesting and you? Why didnt you come with your own girlfriend?
CHIKE
We broke up.
ANN
Ohh i understand. So have you noticed that we seem to be the only guests in the hotel??
CHIKE
Yea seems so too. Hey Ikem, you realised we are the only guests here??
IKEM
Yea i know but thats good
NONYE
Yea i hate crowds. Its better like this.
Alarm sounds. "Please all guests are requested to come to the dinning hall for the buffet" Thank you.
NONYE
Well guys am starving lets go and eat and then we see actually how many new guests we can meet.
The party now got up and moved towards the hotel.
SC2 INT Dinning hall.
They got seated in the tables. Waiting for the waiters.
ANN
Well where is every one and the food??
IKEM
I think we are the only ones here.
Lights go out
NONYE
What the hell??
Lights come back.
CHIKE
Thats power holding for you.
Lights go out again
ANN
Whats wrong with Nepa??
NONYE
Did i hear you ask whats wrong with them?? Come on this is Nepa or power holding at its best.
Lights come back again.
CHIKE
Hey is there going to be a buffet or not here??
Water can speaks up "there is buffet alright. you guys are the food, you will be eaten. Ohh Nepa please.
Lights go out again.
NONYE
Something strange is happening here.
Lights come back. but dim.
The spoons and forks stand and chorus "Nothing is happening its always like this in Resort Alive!!!" Heeheeheeeheee.
The four jump out of their seats.
ANN
Lets leave we got to leave this place.
The four run to the door.
Sc3 int reception
Receptionist backs the counter and is bent over.
IKEM
Excuse me, theres something strange going on in this hotel. All those things inside dey talk.
Receptionist turns (with out-grown canines and, bloody teeth and scary eyes.
reception
Do you really think so?? huhuhuhuhuh
NONYE
Ahhh noo!
ANN
Lets leave this place now.
The receptionist shrinks and bats start flying out of her desk. They turn to run to the door. on getting to the door, the door is locked and they head upstairs. Ikem locks the door to the staircase behind him shutting off the bats
SC4 int hallway
They get to their room door and its locked. Chike tries to force the door open. But no luck.
IKEM
We can't open it. We got to collect the key from the reception.
NONYE
Ohh no we can't go back there.
CHIKE
I think theres another way out of here.
They head down the hall. At the end of it is another staircase going downstairs. Lets try to leave through the back door. They rush down the steps.
Sc5 int basement
Getting to the bottom of the staircase, they open the door. It opens into a dark place. Chike lights a candle nearby, they start walking into the space unknown.
ANN
This place is scary. I don't like it. I think we should go back.
CHIKE
No we can't. We will be eaten alive by those bats.
IKEM
I think i can see some thing over there.
They walk to a door, and push it open. A skeleton falls out with arms stretched. A scroll falls off.
CHIKE
Hey look!!
Chike picks up the paper and reads: This hotel was first built by a powerful priest. He sacrificed a lot of human blood to build it. It served for home for the colonial masters and lots of slaves were traded here and lots died here too. On the death of the priest, his son Egbum refused to take his thrown. The son demolished the old building and built a hotel in its place. This angered the priest. His spirit then took control of the building. His passion for slave trade made him take anyone that lodges into the hotel as a slave. Either to work for him for eternity, or to be sold as a slave, though no longer to the white man, but his soul is sold to the devil for eternity. Hence till he is driven out. All guests that have their names written in the hotel have just entered into eternal slavery. I was once a guest here. By the time you are reading this i would have been dead, and you about to die, unless you find the key to solve this. To escape, you must find the memoir of Jimmy the American warder that once lived there. There he wrote how to escape this , Else, you are doomed to DIE!!!!
ANN
ohh noo
NONYE
what are we going to do??
IKEM
We must find the book, Jimmy's memoir.
CHIKE
What if it doesn't help us??
IKEM
Well we don't have any other thing to try do we??
ANN
ohh men how do we know the book? We are going to die here.
NONYE
Maybe we should call for help.
IKEM
theres no service on the phone. is there in yours?? We must find this thing to leave here alive.
They start looking along the walls and on the floor.
CHIKE
I think we should split and search for it. Me and Ann this way and you two to the left.
Ikem and Nonye finds a chest and are searching in it. Then Chike is checking some books on an old table. Then Ann yealls
ANN
Guys i think i found something.
Ann points at a book. She moves to lift it up as the others rush towards her. As ann picks the book, raises it up, a swam of insects fly towards her. The rest of the crew moves to her rescue, then the floor of the hall breaks into two.
The insects fly about her, Ann screems and tries to wave them off.
CHIKE
Ann watch out watch your steps.
Ann falls off the floor, and hangs on to a rope on the floor. One hand on the rope and the other on the book.
ANN
auchh help
IKEM
hold on ann.
Chike brings a rope and and ties it to himself. They turn a table upside down and push it across the void. chike walks across the table cautiously and tries to reach ann.
CHIKE
Take my hand ann.
Chike stretches his hands. He stretches more and stretching thin. Ann tries and screams
ANN
Take the book.
Ann tries one more time with great effort and her hand reaches chike but she slips off. Chike tries to catch her but manages to get hold of the book only. Ann falls off
ANN
Ahh help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chike Nonye and Ikem shouts "Ann!!!!"
Chike crosses over to Ikem and Nonye. they start looking at the void below.
NONYE
What do we do?? Do you think she is dead??
IKEM
I don't know we have the book, lets read it and get out of here, then we can find help for her.
CHIKE
I believe She is alive. we have to get her out of there first.
IKEM
Now how do we do that??
CHIKE
The rope is still tied to my waist, just hold on to it let me move down to look for her, as far as the rope reaches.
They start lowering chike into the pit. Lower and lower and lower. Soon chike is so low in the pit, He hears ann calling. He stretches his hand and
CHIKE
come on i will take u up
He lifts Ann holding her tight. and calls on IKem and Nonye
CHIKE
Guys pull.
The rope starts pulling them up and making cranking sounds
CHIKE
Faster guys faster.
The rope slips, chike and ann starts falling, Ikem and Nonye tries to steady the rope and they are all drawn into the pit as the hit the bottom with force.
NONYE
Now we are in a deeper shit than we were before.
IKEM
you still got the book? we just got to look it up and see how to get out of here.
There comes a hissing sound and a cracking sound and then brushing and dragging.
CHIKE
whats that?
The sounds increase, then a rock breaks out and the spiderman comes out. It moves toward the four. takes two step forward and one step backward. measures the four and then moves towards them and then breaks into a race ,
IKEM
Oh my God. make we clear oohh
SnakeSpiderman gets close and pits a ball of net at them. As they try to escape it. they start racing away from it.
They get to a wide space with lots of pillars. They start hiding and moving by the pillars, snakespiderman comes closer and is searching for them. Chike signals them to come over to a rope ladder he finds.
Meanwhile Ikem finds an axe and starts wielding it at the creature. It responds by blowing fire at him and dashing towards him, he falls to the ground and struggles to crawl away from the beast. Chike runs to his rescue and the girls keep climbing the ladder. Chike and Ikem race to the ladder and start climbing. Ikem still wields the axe at the beast as they climb higher and higher. Soon they get to the top of the void and are breathless.
They get up and survey where they are. Chike moves towards the wall rackets and said guys lets read that book and get out of here.
Ann starts going through the pages of the book.
ANN
The book is empty, looks like the pages have been torn out. Ohh i see one. It says: This memoir is the key to leaving this place. its cursed and should be destroyed. Once you close this book, you must proceed imediately to the south gate of the building. After passing the gate, you would have to pass through the tunnel of bones. Many souls have been lost here. If you are able to pass this tunnel, you would be at the base of the temple hill. This hill was where the priest performed his sacrifices. His shrine is at the base of the hill. You would see it cause its covered by mat from sunrays and water. So to kill the priest finally, you must stab a sword into his heart. You do this by pouring in enough water to drown the shrine down below. Take all you need here and good luck.
They start gathering the ancient weapons they could find in the room. Chike and Ikem take swords and axes. Ikem takes a bow and quiver. The girls take some small swords. Chike rolls some rope by his waist and they all move up to the south gate.
The gate opens and they pass through to drop lower below and proceed into the tunnel. They look into it, the tunnel is wide with so many fires burning and lamps. They proceed cautiously and keept moving forward. Then eyes started moving watching them advance. But it decides to wait before it can unleash its terror. They get to a narrow bridge and then the eye comes out into open, flying gracefully towards them, making a screaching sound.
ANN
lets go back!!
CHIKE
No move forward keep moving forward.
Ikem lights one of his arrows and aims at the beast. He shoots out the arrow, it pierces the beast's heart, it screams and burns up. They then hear lots of screams and winds flapping as scores of bird beasts swarm towards them.
IKEM
lets run for it guys
They break out into a race towards the other side of the tunnel, they suddenly reach the end of the tunnel. At the tunnel end, Chike pushes a yatch out, the girls walk/crawl past it, Chike moves past and Ikem tries to move through too as the flying beasts approach. He wields his sword and slashes the face of one, just as he drops out of the tunnel, they then latched the yatch close.
SC6 ext evening base of cliff.
They then realised that they were at the base of the hill. They proceeded cautiously along the walls, towards the hill base. At the end of the side walk, they realise there is a dead end, a hollow void below.
NONYE
we are trapped. what do we do now??
Ikem looks around and finds a rope. we use the rope guys. He picks it up and attaches it to his arrow and aims and aims and fires towards the hill.
Arrow soars high and high and high and glides towards the hill, finally anchoring on a rock.
Chike and Ikem pulls on it hard and anchores it on says come on girls. They hang on the ropes with some hooks and then swing towards the hill. Chike was last. As he was getting towards the hill, the arrow started giving way, itpulled off and Ikem dived to catch it, they started pulling chike up steadily. soon he was with them and they started climbing the hill slowly. A dragon fly comes toward them, flying unsuspectingly low, getting closer and closer. Then it buzzes away with speed.
Getting to the top, they could see a tent far away. They started moving towards it, just then a rope trap swings past them it hits Nonye and swings her into the air as she shouts. They try to run towards her, the rope lands her on a wheeled cart. Then the monsters (6 in number) emerges, shouting "Hum!! Hum!! Hum!! Hum!!". They pull the cart away toward an old temple.
The other three hide behind banana leaves. Then the dragonfly comes again, then it speaks fraily
Dragonfly
Do not let them see you. they are the servants of the priest. You should use the drum, over there.
Chike and the rest goes over to the drum to start beating a tune. Ikem continues the beating as the monsters start dancing. Chike and Ann rush to Nonye and released her. They then went over to the tent.
On top of the tent is the pot of water and below is a hole with a glowing heart in a well. Chike tears the tent and starts cutting the water support with his axe. He cuts and cuts and cuts till the wood was so thin. Then Ikem abandons the drums and run towards them.
The monsters stop dancing and looks to see the four, they rush towards them as the pot of water falls. They stop short and bend down and start crying
Monsters
Master forgive us, master forgive us.
The pot falls with a big splash as the water gushes down the well. The ground starts shaking as the four rush towards a giant rail cart, they run into it and lay still. The hill begins to crumble and erupt in many places.
Chike and Ikem gives the cart a push and push and push. The cart starts rolling as they jump into it. It rolls down the hill as the hill top bursts into a fire ball and is coming down fast towards them. The rail leads below the ground and keeps speeding through old train tunnel. ,
Please let me know what you guys feel about the script (particular the story). Any advice is welcome.
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Author
? I can just picture it already, "You chose a nice location for our outing" 
