I Think I Am Getting Depressed: Help!

I am really worried about the turn my life is taking; particularly regarding dating and marriage. I am 26 and currently working on gaining my MBA soon.
For a long time, I did not care about dating or being a relationship as I was concentrating on my Bachelor's degree. After College, I dated an Oyibo guy for sometime and broke it off this past July/August. He has been sending things to me in the mail which I have returned to his address; I get phone calls from him and emails and all that but I am not interested in the relationship anymore. Y? Because he was mentally abusive and I lost myself and probably almost lost my Nigerian identity dating him. I really lost my self confidence and got very abrasive all of a sudden - complete opposite of the soft, sweet chic that I was before I met him.

Late September, I met another oyibo guy who is my ex's complete opposite (well I am not sure if he is only pretending because we just met) - very nice, considerate and gentle - but I had to move to Hawaii because of my job. He actually drove me to the airport at 3 AM in the morning (drove about 40mins all the way from his house), which I think is nice of someone I knew for barely 2 weeks. Anyways, I like this new guy a lot, as I have been thinking of him, but I am at the stage where I am seriously considering a life partner (to get married probably in 3 to 4 years). I really prefer Nigerian guys, but because of my location (Hawaii) and job (IT Consulting), I move around a lot so it is hard to attend all these Nigerian parties or events where I can meet a Naija guy. Also my parents prefer a Nigerian (because of the family values, culture, etc), so they are putting a lot of pressure on me. I am the last child of 5 kids, so I am getting pressured from every angle.
It is very depressing for me because I feel like I have no hope in Hawaii and I really want to make my parents happy too( i really get depressed when they worry).

But I like the new oyibo, but the problem is his job makes him travel a lot too - he works for an NGO. Also, I am one of those ppl that believe that God has a special person for each one of us, so I don't want to limit myself to only Naija guys and then miss my blessing, but that is what I prefer.


I know I have written a lot, but what do you advice? Help a confused gal. (Please dont curse me out, as I am still emotionally sensitive right now and healing slowly from my last relationship abusive issues). Thanks

  I am not understanding your question. I certainly havent found the man of my dreams.

I dont date only Oyibo men - I prefer naija guys like I have stated. I have dated nigerian guys too, but it is hard to find them in Hawaii where I am right now. anyways, I needed a place to vent

Problem is his job carries him around as well - he is currently out of the country (US) and would be back in 3 weeks. We just met and i am worried that his affection for me might wane fast with all the travel he does and also because we had spent only 2 weeks getting to know each other before I left for Hawaii. My parrents are also disturbing a lot and its not like I could go force myself on a guy. Not like there are any Nigerians in Hawaii sef. I asked some ppl around and they say there are some families and they are mostly military. So I am guessing these are married men and their families.

yes, please I need help with all those questions you have mentioned

There is no reason to be depressed, if you love the white guy then stick with him .

Hawaii would probably be tons of fun if I werent in this condition. It is pretty with lots of beaches and pretty shops and people

@ debest,
thanks, I will try to keep an open mind, but I just worry about my parents and all- that.
I certainly hope that I do not come off as desperate with all these crap,
Things are just so difficult sometimes - I am here all by myself - well, I will try to make new friends, but Hawaii is so diffrent
most ppl here are simply here on vacation or taking time off to relax and then they go back to the mainland. Ah well,

I will keep praying

trust me ive been there, going from one remote oil rig to another, the effect it had on my relationships cannot even be quantified, as someone succinctly  put it "Occupational Hazard", but with time, once uve gained enuf experience you have the leverage to pick and choose jobs around your social life then ,

I think you shouldn't worry yourself too much.
Just enjoy life and pray about it. Don't put pressure on yourself.
Or allow your parents to pressure you.
A lot of us allow our parents to decide alot of things for us.
Its your life and you have to live it as best as you can, your parents cant live your life for you.

I have done my fair been of travelling as a freelance IT consultant. Sure do know how you feel. But enjoy it cos am sure Hawaii must be a wonderful place.
And before you know it time flies.
How long will you be in Hawaii for ?
Are you originally from UK or USA ?

Lets talk offline. Will update my profile with my email address. OK

Cant updaye the profile lol

VERY TRUE  TALK AND WELL SAID

DEPRESSED FOR NOT HAVING A  MAN. NO MAN WILL GIVE A LOVE MORE THAN YOU WILL GIVE YOURSELF.
FIRST YOU  HAVE TO LOVE YOURSELF BEFORE LOOKING FOR A MAN.

lOS ANGELES.CA USA.

I can introduce you to some people. Now, are you an American citizen ? that will be very important here. lol.

@POSAKOSA1, LOL @ American Citizenship. I am not an American citizen o. Not at all. But thanks to all u guys, dat was funny POSAKOSA1. But I am not even sure I should be in a relationship with this condition sef. I think I just needed an outlet and Nairaland provided that.

I still have things planned for my future, so I would hope that I am not a complete desperado. LOL/ I feel a bit better after venting a bit, but I think I will just work on getting myself together and just go where the wind blows. I dont want to be one of those girls that get taken advantage of, I will enjoy the opportunities God has given me to travel and see the world.