Caught My Husband Of 7yrs In A Compromising Position At A Girl's House!

cuz naija is a messed up country that refuses to improve, ask yourself "what has naija done for me?" NOTHING

poster, forgive and work on re-establishing your relationship,  you dont gain anything by breaking up with him,

Men are so wicked.dear sister,in say kudos to you for how u took it.dont worry God is with you always.he will never leave u.dont worry dt yeye husband of urs wl cum eventualy crawling on his knees to beg you.and in the end u wl be the winner.

Thank you everyone, there's so many good post here, can't being to mention you all by name. But i'll answer some questions. His djing is a hobby/business. He his a civil engineer as per day job,  And no i did not meet him in a club,i've never been in a club before,   

We met thru a mutual friend and like most men,he put his best foot foward.Came across as a serious minded, very responsible man and a man after God's own heart.

His true colour  started to show thru in about 2 yrs into the marriage really.

Lady T. . .kneel down in front of me.

In recognition of your endless wisdom and generosity to the cause of peace and justice in Nairaland you are here today to be honored, may it be witnessed by all and sundry. You have served well as a model for all women.

By the power endowed upon me as the Grand Knight of the Order of TCA, Nairaland Chapter, I, Negro_Nations do solemnly and dutifully hereby place upon your divine head the jewelled Crown of Mother Moremi and conferr upon you the honorable title of MC . . with this honor comes a key which gives you access into the innermost chambers of human knowledge and secrets. Upon the completion of this rite, you shall become a sitting member in the inner mediation council and serve as one of the King's counsellor and adviser.

Congratulations!!   

This is rather sad,but brace up, God is for you but do you know what, you chose him by yourself and you have  to face it but i appreciate one thing about you, you stil have the fear of God, dont go into adultery, it is shortlived,go to God on your knees and ask him to right every wrong in your marriage and talk at length with our husband, tell him he reduces u to nothing wen he cheats you and also lowers your esteem, tell him how much you love and ask that he considers his lifestyle whether it is pleasing to God, above all, dont make the mistake of leaving your home.

Thanks for all your post. I will not be able to mention you all by name or answer all your questions, but i'll try.
I di not meet my husband at a club, in fact i've never been to a club, the djing is his hobby/business. Is day job as we call it here,  is civil engineering. We met thru a mutual friend and had a long relationship. All along he was very attentive, came across as a responsible man,  in short he put his best foot forward. And i was blown away, he won the hearts of my parents and my siblings, he ticked all the boxes really,  i had no inclining he could ever do this to me.

Thanks Lady T, your post was very good. you hit the nail on the head really,  i'm scared senseless leaving him.
The idea of leaving for a few months would have been very good, shock him back in line, but i never even thot of it,  actually that is a lie i did,  but i just did not know where to go,  hotel? then i'll pay thru my nose.

I gave him an ultimatum the other day to leave the djing and he agreed to. But he will still go out, he will still go to his day job,  how far am i sure he's not with someone then.
As someone said, the best thing is to pray really and commit his life and heart to God.

Vexed wife where are you?

In the UK it wont be a problem to get accomadation from your local council.  Dont look at the life of luxury you are currently living as it is filled with misery.

If you are in the UK you can get free legal advice.  Dont allow the rubbish to continue your life is meant to be lived not wasted!

maybe both of you need to go for marriage counseling and also if you are prayerful den continue praying for him God will see you thru  

@vexed wife

Funny you said what you did because I was thinking of asking you to let him “accidentally” come accross this thread; as this will give him some insight into how most people genreally see his behaviour. Who knows now that he has read it, he might come to his senses and it might dawn on him that he is about to loose a good thing.

I wouldn’t worry about the deeds because God forbid if you do get divorced, unless there was very good reason not to, all property, income etc will be pooled together and shared appropriately by the divorce judge so I wouldn’t worry about it for now. 

In cases like this tough love may be the answer; you have to be clear on what your plan before you embark on it and stick to it; if it means a few weeks or months out of the house then so be it, but please do not close all avenues of discussion/doors.

When he does come round & is ready to talk/apologise for his behaviour, seize this opportunity to put your foot down once and for all and get him to stop this DJ’ing stuff. No disrespect to DJ’s but your husband doesn’t have chewing gum stuck on his eyes and even if he doesn’t make the first move to these girls, they will track him down.

A handsome man, who drives a Beamer, is a DJ and with the amount of alcohol consumed in these places, it is inevitable that some girls will home in on him like ants to sugar. Your husband has proved that he cannot deal with the attention & can’t be trusted so he shouldn’t make himself available at these places at all. As you said, it’s not his main job so he will hardly miss the money and if it is an issue then cut your coat accordingly.

It is however a 2 way street and if you want him to stop DJ’ing you have to give up/do something in return; I believe you are a mature sensible woman so I don’t have to go into detail in this respect. Make his stay at home worthwhile so he doesn’t think he is missing anything 

Another familiar doomed marriage story. You def saw the signs but still chose to stay because of comfort. Comfort this days comes with unsurprising headache. It only takes a man with conscience and God's anointing to look away from numerous temptations going out here in the world.
A lot of peeps here have already given you good advices and trial separation might just be the Key to your happiness. No point staying in something that you are going to be forever miserable.

Yes you do need to be bold/strong to take the might steps needed but blv me you, you had better do it now than being sorry later. As long as a man knows he will always be forgiven and most importantly you being emotionally weak, he will always take advantage of it. I am guessing you have a job, start by getting a council flat, government helps single parents with working tax credit. His ass will be taxed as well (child support).
At least with all this threat/realisation of what he could be facing, the chances of him changing/mending his ways are rather high. Stop being sorry for yourself.
Love yourself more and always believe you deserve better.

bros we not all bad o, as much as i see over a thousand women coming in and out of ma club every wknd, I still return home to my one and only it all depends on d individual

You see what Im saying, some men will defend cheating scumbags but if the case were reversed these same men will be calling for the lynching of the woman. PHUCKING Hypocrites.

Sorry luv. . .  End of the day, its a man's world and there's nothing u can do about it. . .  People i know that sound just like u end up with men who hold them down - tight!
Take even mother beyonce for instance, she can rant all the shaite she rants in her songs but she gets home at night and Jay-Z will ask her to sit her ass down, and thats where it ends

@Topic: I've seen enough of these London break-ups/cheating issues to know that i cannot make a decision based on only one side, especially when that side is the woman's!