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Deep Soul (f)
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Am I looking forward to getting married? Erm erm. . .
I am looking forward to getting married in the next couple of years. Do I have a choice? 
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Rosabelle (f)
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Sorry if i my post sounds personal or directed to you but honestly it is just a general issue i am trying to address with that write up. I am not attacking you or poking my nose in your relationship, i was only trying to say we sure do have a say to tell the other parties this is are what we want from them before going into the marriage life.
Our african society is not comfortable with a single adult lady so you should understand the need for the pressure. Men are also pressured as well into marriages though not like the girls. I was actually refering to the menopause issue and related stuffs and not exactly the pressure.
No no. Im not offended. I just feel its not right that its such a huge topic. You say our african society is not comfortable with single women and I'l tell you why. : It is fear. The african society is dominated by men and men want to beable to talk to men, cos that way, they feel a certain level of security . . safety. And so people want to see young intelligent girls 'married off' so that she's under the control of a man. A fellow man. Thats what it is. Ive noticed how uncomfortable men are when women call them out on the things they say and do, and Ive noticed they dont like it when that woman is young and intelligent and single. Because it cranks their pride that she's talking to them eye to eye. It pisses them off that she has the audacity to tell them theyre not as smart as they think. Theyre annoyed that theres no one they can call to make her 'check her mouth' and that really really riles up african men. And so you get this retort all the time when arguing with a man, that 'your mates are married and having children and you are here running up and down'. Its an attempt by them to belittle a young woman and to tell her that without those things others have, she is nothing, meanwhile, theyre just angry that a woman is comfortable opening her mouth to talk EVEN THOUGH she has none of those things. It is bullying, emotional bullying men are very good at. And I fight it wherever I see it. |
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Deep Soul (f)
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[size=8pt]U don crase finish, lol
This your crzay, wierd and adventurous sphere will change by the time una born one pikin, trust me[/size]
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Ebonyeyes (f)
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Our african society is not comfortable with a single adult lady so you should understand the need for the pressure. Men are also pressured as well into marriages though not like the girls. I was actually refering to the menopause issue and related stuffs and not exactly the pressure.
Why are you taking estrogen for another womans Menopause?  |
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Rosabelle (f)
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[size=8pt]U don crase finish, lol
This your crzay, wierd and adventurous sphere will change by the time una born one pikin, trust me[/size]
LOOLLL |
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Ebonyeyes (f)
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No no. Im not offended. I just feel its not right that its such a huge topic.
You say our african society is not comfortable with single women and I'l tell you why. : It is fear. The african society is dominated by men and men want to beable to talk to men, cos that way, they feel a certain level of security . . safety. And so people want to see young intelligent girls 'married off' so that she's under the control of a man. A fellow man. Thats what it is.
Ive noticed how uncomfortable men are when women call them out on the things they say and do, and Ive noticed they dont like it when that woman is young and intelligent and single. Because it cranks their pride that she's talking to them eye to eye. It pisses them off that she has the audacity to tell them theyre not as smart as they think. Theyre annoyed that theres no one they can call to make her 'check her mouth' and that really really riles up african men.
And so you get this retort all the time when arguing with a man, that 'your mates are married and having children and you are here running up and down'.
Its an attempt by them to belittle a young woman and to tell her that without those things others have, she is nothing, meanwhile, theyre just angry that a woman is comfortable opening her mouth to talk EVEN THOUGH she has none of those things.
It is bullying, emotional bullying men are very good at. And I fight it wherever I see it.
POST OF THE DAY  . I have always said it Some of these men are intimidated and resort to the old tactic to get one over. |
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Gamine (f)
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i thought i was, i thought i wanted to
Now, not so much.
so @topic, No
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debest1 (m)
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i thought i was, i thought i wanted to
Now, not so much.
so @topic, No
maybe i can persuade you otherwise  |
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Pharoh
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Why are you taking estrogen for another womans Menopause? I am not taking anything just implying that a woman should get married early and not wait until she is 30 something when she won't have the strenght or she won't be health wise to give birth to as many children needed by both party. I included both party before you eat up alive  POST OF THE DAY . I have always said it Some of these men are intimidated and resort to the old tactic to get one over. I know you will be happy with the post since that's what you want to hear  but it is not what you think so read my reply to her. No no. Im not offended. I just feel its not right that its such a huge topic.
You say our african society is not comfortable with single women and I'l tell you why. : It is fear. The african society is dominated by men and men want to beable to talk to men, cos that way, they feel a certain level of security . . safety. And so people want to see young intelligent girls 'married off' so that she's under the control of a man. A fellow man. Thats what it is.
Ive noticed how uncomfortable men are when women call them out on the things they say and do, and Ive noticed they dont like it when that woman is young and intelligent and single. Because it cranks their pride that she's talking to them eye to eye. It pisses them off that she has the audacity to tell them theyre not as smart as they think. Theyre annoyed that theres no one they can call to make her 'check her mouth' and that really really riles up african men.
And so you get this retort all the time when arguing with a man, that 'your mates are married and having children and you are here running up and down'.
Its an attempt by them to belittle a young woman and to tell her that without those things others have, she is nothing, meanwhile, theyre just angry that a woman is comfortable opening her mouth to talk EVEN THOUGH she has none of those things.
It is bullying, emotional bullying men are very good at. And I fight it wherever I see it.
Sure the day to day running as in decision making is dominated by men in the african soceity hence the reason we want to do the man to man talking because a lady doesn't fit that role with all her so called intelignce though she could be useful in adding some little advice. Who told we are not comfortable with inteligent women? Will you put a gun in the hands of a kid and sleep with your two eyes closed? What use is the intelligence if you don't put it to use in a way that will not offend the men? . I for one is comfortable with an intelligent woman provided she doesn't poke it into my nose because the last time i checked it was a man's world No apologies for saying this. We are in no way bullying women it is you ladies who see it that way, We are just trying to remind you the role that has been prescribed for you by the society and thread softly when encroaching on our turf. You talked about women been pressured into marriage but it will do you good to find out who is exactly pressurizing them, is it the men or the women like them? I hope we can continue discussing and don't get worked up by my post or position we are all learning so as to bring a workable solution to this issue because it is more deep than what you think. @Topic Yeah i am looking forward to get married someday when i find the right independent woman but for now working my way to be a real man so someone don't stand toe to toe with the benzimo all in the name of you know,  |
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Gamine (f)
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maybe i can persuade you otherwise maybe you can |
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Ebonyeyes (f)
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Boo boo boo and some boos to your comment Pharoh. You are still skewdly biased.  |
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erico2k2 (m)
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it is indeed, A Man's World
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debest1 (m)
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maybe you can In that case plans are already in motion to effect that change of heart, "Watch this space", |
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erico2k2 (m)
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lol I can see,women always got or make it a massive issue when it comes to gender equality.Thats why there are so many court cases arround the world to this effects  |
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Pharoh
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^ *sighs*
Brother say something na Boo boo boo and some boos to your comment Pharoh. You are still skewdly biased. Biased that i hit the kid with the right hand and still pat him/her on the back with the left hand? Why don't you visit this topic and see what women were meant to be http://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-342773.0.htmlOkay explain to me where i am biased if you think i am not hitting the nail on the head. Don't worry i will start posting videos and topics here that will make you ladies think about this your intelligent and independent women movement. lol I can see,women always got or make it a massive issue when it comes to gender equality.Thats why there are so many court cases arround the world to this effects Thank you i don't want to get there yet because our mothers and fathers had a happy marriage but in this age of gender equality and independent women what do we have now?  |
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Stella N (f)
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well am looking forward to that grate day i know that mine will be one in town or what do u think??? yeah am serious |
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Rosabelle (f)
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Sure the day to day running as in decision making is dominated by men in the african soceity hence the reason we want to do the man to man talking because a lady doesn't fit that role with all her so called intelignce though she could be useful in adding some little advice. Who told we are not comfortable with inteligent women? Will you put a gun in the hands of a kid and sleep with your two eyes closed? What use is the intelligence if you don't put it to use in a way that will not offend the men? . I for one is comfortable with an intelligent woman provided she doesn't poke it into my nose because the last time i checked it was a man's world No apologies for saying this. We are in no way bullying women it is you ladies who see it that way, We are just trying to remind you the role that has been prescribed for you by the society and thread softly when encroaching on our turf. You talked about women been pressured into marriage but it will do you good to find out who is exactly pressurizing them, is it the men or the women like them? I hope we can continue discussing and don't get worked up by my post or position we are all learning so as to bring a workable solution to this issue because it is more deep than what you think. Well this our so called intelligence you refer to is what brought you into this world and has kept you alive. Go check the role of the women in your life and come back and tell me. Abi you havnt heard a man who doesnt have a praying woman behind him is lost? And at the same time, when a great man falls deep, he has either ignored the good advice from the 'intelligent' women in his life or he has married an evil one. As to the 'role' subscribed to us by 'society'. Society is not a ghost or a tree, it is made of people. And people made these roles to suit them. Thats my point. And these roles have been happily preserved by men and sustained by ignorant women. That time is fast coming to an end, I can tell you. Society cant decide anymore for an educated woman what path she takes (and I thank GOD for that), because education makes a woman realise she is a person and not a tool or a glorified house maid or whatever else it was society made her believe she was. Women are waking up to realising that they are important too, cos we make it happen. I will never argue about whether or not its a mans world, but wise men before you have found the truth: it IS mans world, but it wont even exist without woman! A man may be a great big ship, glorious on the high seas and magnificient, but without a compass - woman, he will float into darkness. The Lord has set us both on earth and the man is to go fort to conquer and woman is to be his guiding light. So let the man who thinks less carry on. Experience never lies. So sir when you do get married, better bring up your girl children to be free of societal prejudices, and bring up your boys to realise that the worth a man lays on a woman is what he eventaully is worth. |
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erico2k2 (m)
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"pharoh lol No need, you wont win,erm but have you noticed thats its the ladies abroad who have these ideas?Try tell you Mum you aint looking to get married in 9ja and see if she no give U slap,dont get me wrong ladies,I do agree with some of your terms of being indipendent,but going to the xtreem to adopt western values is a total ball game,ie saying something like"I wanna go see the wrld B4 I get married" lol,I dont think gettting married would stop anyone from see the world abi brother,Your pocket will dictate if you could or not.Girls una take am easy B4 una eat me raw oh,Pharoh, U got my back?  |
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demystify (f)
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Looking forward to it, but aint in a rush.
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Rosabelle (f)
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lol I can see,women always got or make it a massive issue when it comes to gender equality.Thats why there are so many court cases arround the world to this effects Sir, its not a gender equality issue. Its a freedon of rights issue. A woman should be allowed, as a man, to make her dicisions without being cowered into feeling because theres no man at her side, she's wrong. A woman should not be brought up to think she has to stand or walk behind a man. A woman should be treated right. Thats all. But because people dont get the simple logic behind that, the fighters for these rights have called it: gender equality. What the man can do, the woman should also be allowed to do. But thats an argument for another day. Im not into the whole gender equality thing. I just want that women are not treated as second class citizens! |
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Rosabelle (f)
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"pharoh lol No need, you wont win,erm but have you noticed thats its the ladies abroad who have these ideas?Try tell you Mum you aint looking to get married in 9ja and see if she no give U slap,dont get me wrong ladies,I do agree with some of your terms of being indipendent,but going to the xtreem to adopt western values is a total ball game,ie saying something like"I wanna go see the wrld B4 I get married" lol,I dont think gettting married would stop anyone from see the world abi brother,Your pocket will dictate if you could or not.Girls una take am easy B4 una eat me raw oh,Pharoh, U got my back? We all know getting married is not playing basket ball. Youre talking as a man who doesnt have as much responsibility as a woman when married. How many nigerian men will get married to a woman and want to wait three years before having children because she says whe wants to see the world? You people fall very easily under peer pressure and once your drinking buddies at the beer parlour at the end of the street have laughed at you, you come home and tell the woman she should sit down and 'be a wife'. Abi I lie?? Getting married and having children changes your life forever and for a woman the change is way more cos now, she has to put herself last. Everyone els comes before her. I dont mind it, cos I think a woman has the strength to do it all, but getting married requires you get that. And Im not ready to relegate my wishes to the back seat for anyone. Cute children or fine man. I no want! |
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lorebobo (f)
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i thought i was, i thought i wanted to
Now, not so much.
so @topic, No
same here.
Am I looking forward to getting married? Erm erm. . .
I am looking forward to getting married in the next couple of years. Do I have a choice? you do but at the same time, you don't. your mama go chop you raw. same shoes. I am not taking anything just implying that a woman should get married early and not wait until she is 30 something when she won't have the strenght or she won't be health wise to give birth to as many children needed by both party. I included both party before you eat up alive You included "both parties" so that you won't come across as a chauvinist. What gives you the impression that a 30 something year old lady does not have the strength to give birth to as many as she wants? na wah for you o. You think like a typical african man. "pharoh lol No need, you wont win,erm but have you noticed thats its the ladies abroad who have these ideas?Try tell you Mum you aint looking to get married in 9ja and see if she no give U slap,dont get me wrong ladies,I do agree with some of your terms of being indipendent,but going to the xtreem to adopt western values is a total ball game,ie saying something like"I wanna go see the wrld B4 I get married" lol, I dont think gettting married would stop anyone from see the world abi brother,Your pocket will dictate if you could or not.Girls una take am easy B4 una eat me raw oh,Pharoh, U got my back? Its not only ladies abroad who have these ideas. those in nigeria do too so don't even go there. getting married will stop you from doing a lot of things you would have ordinarily done if you were single. so, yes it can. |
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Rosabelle (f)
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Its not only ladies abroad who have these ideas. those in nigeria do too so don't even go there. getting married will stop you from doing a lot of things you would have ordinarily done if you were single. so, yes it can.
Ah toh. LOL. Abi should I be carrying an 18month old child up and down the wilds of Australia ?lol |
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erico2k2 (m)
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lol Ah toh. LOL. Abi should I be carrying an 18month old child up and down the wilds of Australia ?lol
lol yes oh, you can, all you have to do is hire a baby sitter then you are good to go, is there a problem there? |
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lorebobo (f)
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help me ask him o. all these men sef. they just have their own ideas of how a lady should behave. they don't even care if she should have a life. i tire for all these men. society just has a warped idea of what and how a woman should live her life as if she doesn't have a say in the matter.
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lorebobo (f)
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lol lol yes oh, you can, all you have to do is hire a baby sitter then you are good to go, is there a problem there?
are you going to pay for the baby sitter? when she should be worrying about only herself, she'll be saddled with two other people. where's the fun and sense in that? |
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erico2k2 (m)
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@lorebobo
Ok i feel you, Now tell me,what are the things you wanna do that marriage will prevent you from doing? go on tell me, and for the part where you said women in 9ja have same ideas, you are wrong there, in dem days, i could remember young men telling a girl they wanna marry em and the girl would reply,Im gonna have to think about it, but these days ah, nah make we go see my Mom first lol, but if you doubt me, ask any girl in 9ja and see for urself
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foyeks2001 (f)
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God's time
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erico2k2 (m)
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ah its Mirs independence we are talking about here, erm i would contribute %50 and she the other %50,After all women should be equal to man nah haba, bw am I sencing denial of responsibilities here?  |
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Pharoh
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Well this our so called intelligence you refer to is what brought you into this world and has kept you alive. Go check the role of the women in your life and come back and tell me. Abi you havnt heard a man who doesnt have a praying woman behind him is lost? And at the same time, when a great man falls deep, he has either ignored the good advice from the 'intelligent' women in his life or he has married an evil one.
As to the 'role' subscribed to us by 'society'. Society is not a ghost or a tree, it is made of people. And people made these roles to suit them. Thats my point. And these roles have been happily preserved by men and sustained by ignorant women. That time is fast coming to an end, I can tell you.
Society cant decide anymore for an educated woman what path she takes (and I thank GOD for that), because education makes a woman realise she is a person and not a tool or a glorified house maid or whatever else it was society made her believe she was. Women are waking up to realising that they are important too, cos we make it happen.
I will never argue about whether or not its a mans world, but wise men before you have found the truth: it IS mans world, but it wont even exist without woman! A man may be a great big ship, glorious on the high seas and magnificient, but without a compass - woman, he will float into darkness.
The Lord has set us both on earth and the man is to go fort to conquer and woman is to be his guiding light. So let the man who thinks less carry on. Experience never lies.
So sir when you do get married, better bring up your girl children to be free of societal prejudices, and bring up your boys to realise that the worth a man lays on a woman is what he eventaully is worth.
So the inteligence that brought me to the world is solely the doing of a woman? So who is behind the success of a single man? Forget those stories behind every successful man there is a woman, don't let it get into your head though i am not disputing the benefit of having a praying woman/mother who wants to see your success. Well society knows what is best hence the proper prescripton of those roles but if you educated ladies feel it is not proper then you are free to change it but be prepared also to intgerate it into the society and see the effect compared to the original status-quo. You ladies are missing the point playing the victim part and thinking the men are treating you as slaves but you forget what the men go through as well to bring the bacon home. Because i said it is a man's world does not imply that the women are not important stake holders in the affiars of the world. What you are missing is that the leadership and headship role has been giving to the men so the ladies should live with that. Don't worry i have a perfect idea how to train my kids (both genders) but we are more worried what you educated ladies are planning to instill on these kids because they are more closer to you peeps. |
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