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demystify (f)
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I used to date a guy and never and still feel nothing for. My mom and big sis convinced me that love may grow with time. I have known this guy for over 3yrs, still felt nothing for him and they think love may grow? Well i gave it a thought and we got engaged and was going to get married soon (early next year) with zero feelings for him. Somehow some way, I was scared cos the guy told me he's prayed a lot about this for many years and he's convinced in his heart that am the one. So thought well, if he's truly the one then a little likeness may crop up with time. . . yet nothing was coming. I prayed about this issue and was very confused. One day i called him that we need to have a serious chat, he agreed. I went to his house and told him that i cannot go on with the marriage cos i don't even have an iota of likeness for him and to talk of love, so he should take the ring back. He took it but was angry and disappointed but i told him that it's the best for both of us. How can you cope with a wife who feels nothing for you? We may never be happy in that marriage. I took time to explain the demerits of such marriage to him and left peacefully. My mom and sis are very disappointed in me but my Dad is in full support of this cos he cares about my happiness. YET still this guy has been calling me and think I am the ONE for him. I left him since August, i still feel no likeness, love or even regret for what i did. My question/problem is? Can God give you a partner you feel nothing for?  |
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Ebonyeyes (f)
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You did the right thing hun better to run while you are engaged than married. If you feel nothing for a person, its best to leave them be.
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Ujujoan (f)
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I used to date a guy and never and still feel nothing for. My mom and big sis convinced me that love may grow with time. I have known this guy for over 3yrs, still felt nothing for him and they think love may grow? Well i gave it a thought and we got engaged and was going to get married soon (early next year) with zero feelings for him. Somehow some way, I was scared cos the guy told me he's prayed a lot about this for many years and he's convinced in his heart that am the one. So thought well, if he's truly the one then a little likeness may crop up with time. . . yet nothing was coming. I prayed about this issue and was very confused. One day i called him that we need to have a serious chat, he agreed. I went to his house and told him that i cannot go on with the marriage cos i don't even have an iota of likeness for him and to talk of love, so he should take the ring back. He took it but was angry and disappointed but i told him that it's the best for both of us. How can you cope with a wife who feels nothing for you? We may never be happy in that marriage. I took time to explain the demerits of such marriage to him and left peacefully. My mom and sis are very disappointed in me but my Dad is in full support of this cos he cares about my happiness. YET still this guy has been calling me and think I am the ONE for him. I left him since August, i still feel no likeness, love or even regret for what i did. My question/problem is? Can God give you a partner you feel nothing for? No! God dosen't complicate issues for us. If he wants you to marry him, he'll sow that seed of love in your heart for him! Life is filled with choices, but the hardest of them is knowing when to let go. You did the right thing and I dont want you to ever let anybody convince you otherwise. The worst thing you can do is marry a man you dont want because when the problems come (and beleive me, they will), you'll only be looking for a way out! |
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r231 (m)
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No! God dosen't complicate issues for us. If he wants you to marry him, he'll sow that seed of love in your heart for him!
Life is filled with choices, but the hardest of them is knowing when to let go. You did the right thing and I dont want you to ever let anybody convince you otherwise.
The worst thing you can do is marry a man you dont want because when the problems come (and beleive me, they will), you'll only be looking for a way out!
didn't knw u r dis religious lol @Op you did the right thing for being honest with him cus some pple will jus play along and take him for everything he has dats if he is loaded |
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Ujujoan (f)
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didn't knw u r dis religious lol
LOL  well, I dey to remember God sometimes. How've u bin? Ope the wedding plans are coming along fine ?  |
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igbonla (m)
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God is not an author of confusion but He does not tamper with our freewill.
It is difficult and not exactly right to commend or condemn your decision but life must go on for both of you.
Hope you find love and happiness someday soon.
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r231 (m)
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LOL well, I dey to remember God sometimes. How've u bin? Ope the wedding plans are coming along fine ? I am ok,,,,,,,,,,wedding plan is not easy especially wen u r not in 9ja but we jus got a planner now so she can take away some of my headaches lol |
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Ani Lee (f)
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but my Dad is in full support of this cos he cares about my happiness.
I support your old man all the way |
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tpia.
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rather dangerous to marry someone you feel nothing for, but who knows.
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justwise (m)
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U really did the right thing and i think u are a responsible girl.
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candylips (m)
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@poster.
you have made a big mistake . Husbands are very scare to get these days.
You might regret this decision latter on if you don't get someone else or the someone else you like does not like you and treat you like trash.
It is safer for a man to like a woman than the other way round because if a woman is blinded by love for a man you are bush meat in that mans soup
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justwise (m)
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@poster.
you have made a big mistake . Husbands are very scare to get these days.
You might regret this decision latter on if you don't get someone else or the someone else you like does not like you and treat you like trash.
It is safer for a man to like a woman than the other way round because if a woman is blinded by love for a man you are bush meat in that mans soup
Tell me u are joking right? To marry somebody u don't love? What is marriage then? |
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candylips (m)
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aint joking o. but she might regret the decison sha
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whitelexi (m)
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aint joking o. but she might regret the decison sha
My thoughts exactly. . . Remember what they say about sticking with someone who loves u, or falling for someone who doesn't give a F.ck? Tomorrow, the story will change to, "We love ourselves very much but he has been cheating since we had our first baby"  |
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justwise (m)
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My thoughts exactly. . . Remember what they say about sticking with someone who loves u, or falling for someone who doesn't give a F.ck? Tomorrow, the story will change to, "We love ourselves very much but he has been cheating since we had our first baby" When it comes to marriage u can't rely on one person's love to carry the marriage, u need to like each other atleast. U can't just marry anybody that says i love u even when u don't have any atom of likeness for that person |
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Ujujoan (f)
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aint joking o. but she might regret the decison sha
Fine if she's not married in 10 years time and she sees the man with his lovely family, she might regret her decision. But does that make it worng? No! She did make the right decision. Regrets or no regrets . . |
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facibabe (f)
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some times what you want might not be what God want for you. it is good to marriage a guy that loves you rather than the guy that doesn't love you in which you love him. why is it that people that are fat pray to be slim while people that are slim pray to be fat. only God knows best but i will like you to also pray about it. there is a yoruba proverb which says"don't use your husband as a boyfriend and don't use your boyfriend as a husband. i hope you don't regret it because before you make any decision, you need to pray about it.
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Ani Lee (f)
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When it comes to marriage u can't rely on one person's love to carry the marriage, u need to like each other atleast. U can't just marry anybody that says i love u even when u don't have any atom of likeness for that person
Amen. For starters, i know we would like to LOVE fully and deeply and not just develop a tolerable like and have a compromising marriage. Well, at least I know that aint my call. May be some people bo whitelexie, candylips have this calling |
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jay bee (m)
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Why don't u like him?
his he fugly?
mediocre in the trouser department
not a member of the billionaire's bois club?
His he temperamental
His he abusive?
What's the problem?
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justwise (m)
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Amen. For starters, i know we would like to LOVE fully and deeply [b]and not just develop a tolerable like and have a compromising marriage. Well, at least I know that aint my call. May be some people bo whitelexie, candylips have this calling [/b] Exactly!! why would anybody wants to put her/him self through that? |
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whitelexi (m)
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Na true naaaa, tomorrow she will meet someone she feels so much attraction for, dude will easily spot that this chick fancies him, dude will more than likely tag along and say the things she needs to hear until BAM!!! Belle wahala. Na for that stage the true colors go start to dey flow Then they come to NL to complain, my man cheated |
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Pharoh
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Today your choice was right but who knows about tomorrow? It will be good if you let us know why you don't like him? Your reasons should at least be weighed with your refusal decision.
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spikedcylinder
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How many people love the persons they are married to anyway?
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Ujujoan (f)
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^^^ yea but marry a guy you feel nothing for? Even after trying? That's hell!
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redsky1
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How many people love the persons they are married to anyway?
many of us my dear - many of us |
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spikedcylinder
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^^^ yea but marry a guy you feel nothing for? Even after trying? That's hell!
many of us my dear - many of us
There goes your answer. The figures are better imagined. |
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redsky1
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There goes your answer. The figures are better imagined.
well i don't know of your own circle of married friends but all te friends i have that are married, married for love. since my parents had a very loving relationship i wouldn't expect anything less in my life |
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