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oyinda. (f)
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The guy has found another girl. pls move on. seriously
I mean over 2wks silent treatment just because of argument over vacation resort. lol pls free the guy n let him go.
go and hang out and find some other guy. be careful this time though and don't pick a liar.
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amhurting
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Men.
I am very confused when somethings happen and some men handle it this way.
Agreed. She was wrong. She admitted. She begged. She ask people to beg on her behalf.
She is devastated and confused.
What else do you want her to do?
To have a nervous break-down or resort to a Psychiatric Hospital because you are what? A super-hero!
@Poster: It is hard. But, gather yourelf together. Do your lipstick. Do your hair. Put on a head turning gown. Treat yourself to a good dinner.
He is the one that lose. Gbam.
If one vehicle decided not to go to Alaba market, many will go. He is not your GOD.
And maybe, dem swear for am to sow, make another man reap, Who knows.
La vie continua,
a very blunt post.  thank you |
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amhurting
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update: he has finally called. he apologised but not genuinely he does not sound remorseful and see his actions as ''teaching me a lesson''  his attitude is simply putting pepper on a bruised heart |
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Dubino (m)
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Poster,it looks like you complain a lot. You said that the guy 've called and apologised, and at the same time you're reading and interpreting his mind to your favour. Please give this guy a break and stop making him look like a bad guy. If that guy would 've the nerve to sponsor you to Europe, not as a wife but a girlfriend, he's good.
We only heard your side of the story, if we hear his we may think again about all your whinning. Why I'm saying this is that I've seen how women acts once they cross into EU or US. To be honest and based on what you said,that guy is a gentleman, he didn't go for any physical confrontation, he just left, , you didn't tell us if you confronted him physically. I personally didn't believe that it's only an argument over a vacation location that drove him away from his house. Tell us the truth when you're ready and stop telling matured men moonlight stories.
I've witnessed so many things that looks like that here in US, the lady will be crying all over, but when you find out what she did to the guy, you know that the guy is just running for cover and not to punish her.
Be careful how you spread your dirty linen in public 'cos it may come back to hunt you.
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sexylogan (m)
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update: he has finally called. he apologised but not genuinely he does not sound remorseful and see his actions as ''teaching me a lesson'' his attitude is simply putting pepper on a bruised heart girl, aren't u tired of livin in pain? havn't u had enuf? love plays terrible tricks on our psyche but dont u think u shud move on? please no man who truly loves u wil sit bak and inflict pain on u just to "teach u a lesson". i once went out wit someone who thot i was evrythin her man wasnt, he used to beat her up, cheat, insult her, etc. but gues wat? we eventualy broke up becuz she that i was "so nice it wasnt natural" and returned to her abusiv relationship wit her ex. moral of the story- u can actually get used to being treated badly. my advice- move on. in time u wil find someone who loves and respects u and wont ever derive plaesure in hurting u. |
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demystify (f)
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update: he has finally called. he apologised but not genuinely he does not sound remorseful and see his actions as ''teaching me a lesson'' his attitude is simply putting pepper on a bruised heart ] hmmmm!!! |
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chaircover (f)
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Am hurting Im going to give you free advice.
Go and work on your self esteem. Unhealthy relationships like this can only damage you in the long run.
Yes everyone has a right to be angry at their partner if they feel that the partner has done wrong, but once the "offender" has apologised then if you indeed truly love him/her then you forgive and move on with the relationship. If the offended partner feels that the offence is too great to continue in the relationship, then both parties end the relationship there and then.
To keep this girl hanging on for 3 weeks is just playing mind games with her and is just plain wicked. Reasonable people do not need 3 weeks to think about things.
No boyfriend has the right to treat you like trash for whatever reason and im surprised that after 3 weeks of non contact you still give him the time of day.
If he treats you like this now; how will he treat you when he finally puts the ring on your finger?
Move on now while you still have your freedom and dignity.
Never Never Never remain in an unhealthy relationship because of pity. He brought you to Europe, so,
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kpolli (m)
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noticed that all the girls r like fashi the guy n guys r like trying to understand the guy, till now u know what u said, so we cant judge on assumptions, Fact is there are somethings that a man can never forive,
With your words, u can push him into committing suicide,
so understand his on view first b4 begging, I notice u girls offend n beg,then doing it again, It shows u dont understand th degree of your words, advice, try n understand the reason y he is actin like that then ask for forgiveness,
There is diff btw knowing u r wrong n how u r wrong
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chaircover (f)
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3 weeks is too long a time to “punish” his girlfriend. He is not her father & it was her father’s job to train & punish her when she was growing up.
The boyfriend/husband is to chastise her with love if he must . . . .
If she has deeply offended him, which she probably did, ignoring her and not taking her calls is not the answer or a mature way of dealing with conflict but a very selfish and childish way.
I hate and despise men who play mind games.
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kpolli (m)
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3 weeks is too long a time to “punish” his girlfriend. He is not her father & it was her father’s job to train & punish her when she was growing up.
The boyfriend/husband is to chastise her with love if he must . . . .
If she has deeply offended him, which she probably did, ignoring her and not taking her calls is not the answer or a mature way of dealing with conflict but a very selfish and childish way.
I hate and despise men who play mind games.
would u rather he beats her to teach her a lesson or he does this? now next time she is arguing with him she wouldnt make the same mistake, am a guy n i know that he loves her cos if it was me n i didnt then i will tell her to her front its over, a guy who stops loving a girl cant just break up unil she messes up n then when that opportunity comes he cant miss it to drive her away, y r u so blind to the guys intensions? he istrying to make sure it doent happen again, |
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chaircover (f)
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^^^^ So its either stupid mind games or she gets beaten and you call this love  Real men sit down and discuss issues/conflict etc with their partners and not go off sulking off for 3 weeks I pray my daughter never ever comes accross your type. Amen. |
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edogram. (m)
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he would have forgiven u while u where begging. now he will be the one to beg and u r even stronger. well is good to experience it for once .
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kpolli (m)
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just shows u dont know the characteritics of a real man
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chaircover (f)
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So whats the definition of a real man?
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kpolli (m)
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sorry to say yes, a real man, does things so that mistakes wont happen again, he has to do this, for her to learn the implications of her words,
or do u think she can still say those things again after this crisis?
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chaircover (f)
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But It may all backfire. . . . . .
Because he has stayed away for so long, he runs the risk of the poster now having had the chance to re evaluate the whole relationship and go on to deceide that she doesnt want to be with a man who deliberatly makes her unhappy.
Real men know that women gas a lot, most times with no pun intended. A real man will rise above it, wait until things have calmed down and sit the woman down and calmy tell her what she has done wrong.
If what the poster says is true, about a few heated words during an argument, then woe betide her if she commits a serious "crime" such as being disrespectful to his mother or has an affair and is caught.
The guy is clearly killing a misquito with a sledgehammer.
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funkybaby (f)
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But It may all backfire. . . . . .
Because he has stayed away for so long, he runs the risk of the poster now having had the chance to re evaluate the whole relationship and go on to deceide that she doesnt want to be with a man who deliberatly makes her unhappy.
Real men know that women gas a lot, most times with no pun intended. A real man will rise above it, wait until things have calmed down and sit the woman down and calmy tell her what she has done wrong.
If what the poster says is true, about a few heated words during an argument, then woe betide her if she commits a serious "crime" such as being disrespectful to his mother or has an affair and is caught.
The guy is clearly killing a misquito with a sledgehammer.
wow. Chaircover !  i have always respected and admired your posts on this forum What you have just posted is sooooooooooooooooooooo true. . . . especially this part But It may all backfire. . . . . .
Because he has stayed away for so long, he runs the risk of the poster now having had the chance to re evaluate the whole relationship and go on to deceide that she doesnt want to be with a man who deliberatly makes her unhappy.
presently going through the same phase with my partner. i keep thinking, if he can ''delete'' me from his life for few weeks over a minor argument, then woe betides me if his mum reports to him that i was disrespectful to her or if he catches me winking at another dude  |
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kpolli (m)
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no he is not, he is killing the first aids patient so that the disease will never spread,
u girls think all we guys do is to purnish u, fact is if he loves her dont u think he will also be sad that he has to do this?
i will rather do this once than argue daily, look at his point of view for a minute,
the reasons parents keep beating their children is becos they never learn, beating doesnt solve it, make them feel the implications of their actions,
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Alxmyr (m)
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update: he has finally called. he apologised but not genuinely he does not sound remorseful and see his actions as ''teaching me a lesson'' his attitude is simply putting pepper on a bruised heart Remember to add. He has as well lost me to a better man! Gbam |
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Dubino (m)
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Well,it's not surprising that women will always defend women whatever the situation. How can one make a good judgement based of one side of a story.
Chaircover, thank God you stays in UK. Our illustrous sister, Chimanda Adichie said it all in her book and speech to the WORLD WRITERS at the Oxford University. She warned about THE DANGER OF A SINGLE STORY.
So I strongly disbelieve that this guy left his own house, ,I mean, he ran away from his home just because of an argument over a vacation location. Most likely,this guy is the one that would have paid for this vacation and possibly suggested it too. If we dig dip into the poster without being biased, we may find out the truth,, and that it didn't start with vacation argument, ,and that it didn't end there either. May be she's the one that kicked this guy out of the house, ,only God knows.
If that guy didn't love her so much, he wouldn't have brought her over to EU as a girl friend. This girl's character might even be the reason why the guy 've not married her since he brought her to EU.
I'm not judging anybody, but I wish the poster 'll tell us what 've been going on between them which might have triggered this chain reaction.
She should also stop whinning please.
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chaircover (f)
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Well,it's not surprising that women will always defend women whatever the situation. How can one make a good judgement based of one side of a story.
Chaircover, thank God you stays in UK. What has my location got to do with anything So tell me, how many 2 sided stories do you hear on Nairaland? For the record, this has absolutely nothing to do with the battle of the sexes; I say it as it is. Sometimes I'm on the woman's side and sometimes I'm on the mans side based on the facts given and simple common sense. If a man/woman is done in the relationship then they should come out and say it rather than playing silly mind games. If you read one of my earlier posts I did actually admit that it was likely that the poster had acid-tongue lashed the man and he was still smarting but lets do things in moderation. Keeping away for 3 weeks inspite of her apology is a long time. He either forgives her or he moves on, not to keep her hanging. |
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na_so
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update: he has finally called. he apologised but not genuinely he does not sound remorseful and see his actions as ''teaching me a lesson'' his attitude is simply putting pepper on a bruised heart You have said that you guys have intermintently had trust issues, later you made hurtful utterances. He went AWOL to reappraise the situation in his HURTING state, now he comes back with some "apology" and you are still asking for remorse and whatever. Abeg make we hear word jare, its always easy to play the victim , but everyone has a conscience which is an open wound that can be healed only with the truth. With all you confessed he has contributed to your personal development, you do not need an "Emmanuel" to tell you he really loves you. If he posted his own side of the story here on NL , are you sure of retaining 50% of this band of sympathisers? The guy's response might not have been the best, but you seem not to appreciate that he could he hurting far more than whatever you are experiencing. A man whose tears drop inwards might by far more pained than a wailing lady. If you do not work on the trust issues and learn to curb snide comments ,you can be sure you still have many more related bouts in future. Good luck |
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Dubino (m)
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Your location came into the game because Chimanda Adichie made her address to the world writters in UK last summer and explained the danger of a single story. No harm intended. Sorry if I stepped on your toes.
Since this is not a 2 sided story, contributions should be like giving ideas and suggestions, and not like pushing her on what to do.
There's no mind game in this issue 'cos whatever that kicked a man out of his house is a big deal.
Just because that guy is a gentle man, he didn't go for physical confrontation, he just left the house for her. Some crazy/violent guys will beat the shit out of her and throw her unto the street.
If this girl is concerned enough as she claimed, why didn't she go and look for the guy? It could be that the guy has committed suicide or got into trouble because of anger.
Then,when the guy finally called and apologised, instead of her to accept his apology and lure him home first, she is still demanding for the guy's head. With this, isn't it clear that this girl is so difficult to please. She's crying about forgiveness, she can't forgive either.
Please, give me a break.
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chika98
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Dubino: A man that lets his anger control his actions hasn't yet mastered his temperament. Every human has to learn to control themselves.
OP
You clearly have self esteem issues and I suggest you go and work on them. You need to be comfortable in your own skin first. You have understand that you are worth someone actually caring for you and understanding that you are nothing but a human being with "flaws". With that being said, nothing we say or do will make you change your mind about still being in the relationship. Only you will leave when you feel you've taken enough.
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Dubino (m)
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Chika98, it looks like you're in Nigeria and you don't know what's going on abroad in this world economic hard time. Things 're very tough now, everybody is hurting and nobody is talking about vacation.
The last thing a good, loving and caring woman will do is to drive her man away from the house. I've a girlfriend and we have our ups and downs but she never tried to kick me out.
Lets face the fact, would you run away from your house for a simple argument? I mean your house not his. In as much as women needs to be pet, men needs that too.
You who doesn't have self esteem issues, do not work on nothing, but with your attitude and reasoning, to get a devoted guy, you might need to do a lot more work than me.
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chika98
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Dubino: Shut your retarded trap up! Who told you I was in Nigeria? Even if I were what has that got to do with my response to control of temperament? Did the poster tell you she chased her said BF out of the house? Disgusts me when you lot throw around low blows like a bunch of airheads! Have i ever told you that I've got a problem getting a devoted man? What flying fuckery are you on about? Never EVER address me again! What nonsense!
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iz2much (m)
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i have once been thru that, trust me he will call you back, he is also feeling the same thing about you.
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yousay (m)
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Your location came into the game because Chimanda Adichie made her address to the world writters in UK last summer and explained the danger of a single story. No harm intended. Sorry if I stepped on your toes.
Since this is not a 2 sided story, contributions should be like giving ideas and suggestions, and not like pushing her on what to do.
There's no mind game in this issue 'cos whatever that kicked a man out of his house is a big deal.
Just because that guy is a gentle man, he didn't go for physical confrontation, he just left the house for her. Some crazy/violent guys will beat the shit out of her and throw her unto the street.
If this girl is concerned enough as she claimed, why didn't she go and look for the guy? It could be that the guy has committed suicide or got into trouble because of anger.
Then,when the guy finally called and apologised, instead of her to accept his apology and lure him home first, she is still demanding for the guy's head. With this, isn't it clear that this girl is so difficult to please. She's crying about forgiveness, she can't forgive either.
Please, give me a break.
waoooooooooooo. this is it! |
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Dubino (m)
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Chika98, do not go ballistic simply because I told you the truth. Do not say I should not grill you 'cos you're the one that jumped into my toaster, ok.
Just calm down and stop making fun of yourself with those slangs you don't know their meaning. You're not talking to me alone, you're talking to the whole world, just want to remind you. When next you write, choose your words carefully.
Looks like you've to do some work too on your temperament, it's way above the boiling point. Slow down little sister, you still got to grow up and face the reality of life, then you may figure out that it takes a lot more than ''RETARDED TRAP, LOW BLOWS, BUNCH OF AIRHEADS and FLYING FUCKERY'' to get a devoted man.
May be you 'll expect a devoted man to hang on when you talk to him like this, wow!
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