Deliver Us From Akpan

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Date: November 24, 2009, 01:00 PM
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Nairaland Forum  |  Entertainment  |  Jokes Etc (Moderator: dani1luv)  |  Deliver Us From Akpan
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Author Topic: Deliver Us From Akpan  (Read 773 views)
atkinboy
Deliver Us From Akpan
« on: November 03, 2009, 03:56 PM »

 
AKPAN bought a new mobile phone. He sent a message to everyone on his phone book.

The message reads:

My mobile number has changed; earlier it was Nokia 3310, now it is Nokia 6610. Please take note, 

In a conversation:

AKPAN : I am proud because my son is in Medical College
Friend: Really? What is he studying?
AKPAN: No, he is not studying, they are studying him.

Akpan visits his Doctor :

AKPAN: Doctor, in my dreams I play football every night.
DOCTOR: Take these drugs and you will be okay.
AKPAN: Can I take it tomorrow? Tonight is the final game.
 
Akpan and his wife :
AKPAN: If 2mrow I die, will you remarry?
Wife: No! I will stay with my sister but if I die will you remarry?
AKPAN: No, I will also stay with your sister.
 
AKPAN: People consider me as a “GOD”
Wife: How do you know?
AKPAN: When I went to the park today, everybody said, oh GOD, you have come again.
 
AKPAN comes back to his car and finds a note saying “parking fine”
He writes a note and sticks it to a pole “Thanks for the compliment”
 
How do you recognize Akpan in school?
He is the one who erases the notes from his book when the teacher erases the board.
 
Once AKPAN was walking, he had a glove in one hand and none on the other hand. So a man asked him why he did so. He replied: The weather forecast announced that on one hand, it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.

AKPAN: Why are all these people running?
Man: This is a race; the winner will get the cup.
AKPAN: If only the winner will get the Cup, why are the others running?
 

In a classroom:

Teacher: “I killed a person. Convert this sentence into future tense”
AKPAN: The future tense is “You will go to jail”.
 

AKPAN told his servant: “Go and water the plants!”
Servant: “It is already raining”
AKPAN: “So what? Take an umbrella and go”

I think Akpan is smart, his foolishness shows he still has a brain
Simonwal
Re: Deliver Us From Akpan
« #1 on: November 03, 2009, 04:24 PM »

 Grin Grin Grin
this is a great jokes indeed
but i believe posakosa1(gun shot)  must be akpan
with no doubt Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin
sylve11
Re: Deliver Us From Akpan
« #2 on: November 03, 2009, 04:43 PM »

Quote from: atkinboy on November 03, 2009, 03:56 PM

Teacher: “I killed a person. Convert this sentence into future tense”
AKPAN: The future tense is “You will go to jail”.
 

lol Grin Cool
atkinboy
Re: Deliver Us From Akpan
« #3 on: November 03, 2009, 07:47 PM »

Thank u simonwale i am still with,  Huh but,  Grin Grin Grin i am still especting more comment.
shayoor (f)
Re: Deliver Us From Akpan
« #4 on: November 03, 2009, 08:15 PM »

lol
atkinboy
Re: Deliver Us From Akpan
« #5 on: November 05, 2009, 08:38 PM »

i am expecting more comment
Abbygyal (f)
Re: Deliver Us From Akpan
« #6 on: November 05, 2009, 08:41 PM »

lol. . . nice one
atkinboy
Re: Deliver Us From Akpan
« #7 on: November 05, 2009, 08:57 PM »

 Grin Grin Grin Grin : i need more comment before i explode another joke
kabola2009 (m)
Re: Deliver Us From Akpan
« #8 on: November 05, 2009, 09:30 PM »

am still laughing;D Grin Grin
shayoor (f)
Re: Deliver Us From Akpan
« #9 on: November 06, 2009, 03:57 PM »

 ;d
sylve11
Re: Deliver Us From Akpan
« #10 on: November 06, 2009, 05:04 PM »

errorful shayor Cool
Abbey_city (f)
Re: Deliver Us From Akpan
« #11 on: November 09, 2009, 09:17 AM »

9ice joke bro  Cheesy
kody-licky (f)
Re: Deliver Us From Akpan
« #12 on: November 09, 2009, 10:15 AM »

lmao nice jokes poster
lbotus
Re: Deliver Us From Akpan
« #13 on: November 09, 2009, 12:07 PM »

nice one  Cheesy Cheesy!!!
clemcykul
Re: Deliver Us From Akpan
« #14 on: November 09, 2009, 12:54 PM »

lol so akpanacious

poster gud job!
atkinboy
Re: Deliver Us From Akpan
« #15 on: November 09, 2009, 07:44 PM »

Thank you everybody did  think Akpan is smart
D1KeleVra (m)
Re: Deliver Us From Akpan
« #16 on: November 12, 2009, 09:35 PM »

Quote from: atkinboy on November 03, 2009, 03:56 PM

AKPAN: Why are all these people running?
Man: This is a race; the winner will get the cup.
AKPAN: If only the winner will get the Cup, why are the others running?
 

AKPAN told his servant: “Go and water the plants!”
Servant: “It is already raining”
AKPAN: “So what? Take an umbrella and go”


lol Akpan A.K.A Sylve Grin Grin
Kunbee
Re: Deliver Us From Akpan
« #17 on: November 12, 2009, 10:25 PM »

I have a feeling Akpan is By.dot Undecided Undecided Undecided

@OP *standing ovation* Kiss
whitesturd (f)
Re: Deliver Us From Akpan
« #18 on: November 12, 2009, 11:20 PM »

WAO.lovely collection of jokes.keep it up Cool Cool
Pharoh
Re: Deliver Us From Akpan
« #19 on: November 13, 2009, 11:26 AM »

Very Good please keep it up.
detty@adex
Re: Deliver Us From Akpan
« #20 on: November 13, 2009, 11:34 AM »

Who be the Akpan? U are indirectly telling me who Akpan is, anyway 9ice jokes Grin
shayoor (f)
Re: Deliver Us From Akpan
« #21 on: November 13, 2009, 01:20 PM »

lol
tolu001
Re: Deliver Us From Akpan
« #22 on: November 13, 2009, 04:43 PM »

this is so nice, i cant stop laughing
Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin
k.droid
Re: Deliver Us From Akpan
« #23 on: November 13, 2009, 08:11 PM »

@atkin boy.u ga yokes men! Grin
lizfab (f)
Re: Deliver Us From Akpan
« #24 on: November 14, 2009, 01:30 PM »

laf wan kill me die
D1KeleVra (m)
Re: Deliver Us From Akpan
« #25 on: November 14, 2009, 03:28 PM »

see as u dey waste space. . . are u not aware of the short form? LWKMD? Angry Correct it immediately b4 i call dani as if he can do anythng sef
Dunddy (m)
Re: Deliver Us From Akpan
« #26 on: November 15, 2009, 11:50 PM »

lol. akpan deprieye mbassey Grin
D1KeleVra (m)
Re: Deliver Us From Akpan
« #27 on: November 15, 2009, 11:53 PM »

Cheesy Cheesy na all your middle names be that? Grin
Dunddy (m)
Re: Deliver Us From Akpan
« #28 on: November 16, 2009, 12:00 AM »

no be me o!
atkinboy
Re: Deliver Us From Akpan
« #29 on: November 16, 2009, 11:31 AM »


Posts: 7203

Offline
         Re: Deliver Us From Akpan
« #27 on: Yesterday at 11:53:22 PM »   

  na all your middle names be that?

AKPAN HIS EVEN SMART THAN YOU, SAY THE TRUE I WILL SET YOU FREE IS AKPAN YOU REAL NAME
Jeovy (m)
Re: Deliver Us From Akpan
« #30 on: November 16, 2009, 11:50 AM »

U dey feel like actor?
atkinboy
Re: Deliver Us From Akpan
« #31 on: November 16, 2009, 01:05 PM »

i reach to didn't u enjoy it TALK TRUE
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