Radiant & I Discuss: cheating in the marriage

Atleast this statement made sense out of all you've being posting.

It is simple, I said if you find out the reason for the cheat is unreasonable, then you can go for the divorce.


You can always exclude me.


First of all, you are not entitled to name or judge other by there action, even if its not what you like or expect. I am not bother if you make reasonable remarks, which you are not doing so far. You suddenly grow incongruous with those opposing your view. Try to be more polite with approaching a fellow poster.

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

guys can we go back to the topic
i was enjoyin the talk show o

if a man cheats on you once and you let him be
next time he'll not only cheat on you but leave you scarred for life

Instead of telling me how to do things in my thread, how about answering the question.

Like I said I would like for you to give me examples of excuses you find as "reasonable" for cheating. How about you deal with that first before trying to order me?

E, I don't know what is wrong with these people. I assume it bothers them that I'm brash lol and that when I'm insulted, I give worse back and not stare like a retarded zombie instead. Maybe that is the problem, I really don't know or maybe my sarcasm goes over their heads, most Naija people don't get sarcasm very well so I'm assuming that might be.

 As for goodfag, dude has been on my ass for weeks now. I think that's his way of "wooing", someone should tell him that he should try a different approach and maybe then I'll take him seriously. Now he's yaning duel and insulting bloodline, lmao. looks like someone is taking the internet a little too seriously.

And KACEAY  quit looking at my profile

TOH the problem here is we are engaging BOYS in discussion NOt MEN

sorry for offtopic o
but we have loads of them on this forum that has simply refused to grow up

note- not on you o goodguy

I intentionally ignored your first post, waiting for you to refer to me directly.

I am not going to insult you.  I don't have any issues with you, but I will like you to view this with an unbiased mind.

I made a post on my own jejely, when TOH came from no where to insult me for posting my opinion.  Now, you saw nothing wrong with that, right?  But when I fired back, I'm now the disgrace to the men?  She even went as far as insulting my mother, and you still could not caution her?  Go through the thread, starting from where I made my first real contribution, and you'll see she started it all.  But you do not see any probelms with that, instead, I am seen as the immature and hypocritical one.  No probs.  I'm less bothered anyway.  I'll agree with you if you call me all sorts of names for responding to her vituperations, but certainly not when she started it all, while I'm being blamed for it.  If anything, she should be the one to be called "Immature" for leaving the post to attack the poster.

TOH has insulted me so many times on this forum, but I simply overlook them.  She's now taking advantage of that, and I don't like it.  Now that I've decided to pay her back in her own coins, I'm being asked to shut up, I'm being called names, simply because I am a guy, and she's a lady.  Obviously, no one sees anything wrong with all what TOH is doing.  It's all good.

@kaecy5, please be slow to denigrate.  Thanks!

goodguy you make me feel bad now ok you need to not talk to women like that still, i apologise for what i said to you i guess the annoyance i had for the others i extended to you, i am not here to read what every one posted but still you wrong for cussing her, can we all get along now, you need to kiss and make up with TOH--- goodluck she is tougher
than me


@Kaecy what imaginery pic? rubbish i took my pic off few weeks back i was being bothered too much by YIM

TOH

on a serious note the issue about cheating in marriage and cheating in general does not start from the marriage actually it sure starts before the marriage

i sure believe before u get married to any one boy or girl or whatever,  there are hidden signs of instability for a cheat or in general there are hiding signs of the person personality that he or she reveals time after time unconsciously,
hidden personalities that we know we r not at peace it

but because as we say most times love is blind we tend not to believe this signs we even assume he or she would change with time mind u thats some crazy sh*t

for instance a friend of mine is dating some girl he spends his money calling her all the time sending her phone cards she just sits and complain he does not call her enough but all this while she does not even call him she just sends him text messages but when they r together she acts up as if she is hell in love with him

i had to investigate the girl and found out she sure has some other dude she spends her fortune on .

now the point is assume the guy goes ahead and marries her , she has shown that she pretends to love him probably for his money or so then cheating comes up along the line she cheats on the guy

same thing happens guys also pretend to be in love with girls probably for the sex the looks or the money , then they get married along the line cheating comes up when he then discovers that she is no more as beautiful as she was or she is no more good in bed because now she now has children and her hole is not as tight as it use to be - this is some rubbish didn't he know she would turn out the way she is now when she was younger.

as for me i look at the girl i want to marry mother before i make commitment because if i like how her mother is looking after child(ren) births then i am comfortable with how the girl would look lik in 20years time but if am not then i discharge form the beginning

i am of the strong opinion that if both parties r really really in love cheating and other issues should not be a divorce causing factor but u know how many people can tell u they r in a relationship because they r in love or because they assume compatibility?, security? financial stability and don't forget because they r getting old?

wow kacey. how long did that take? 

I'll get back to you later though, have some damn beverage formulas to make.

later people. Be good 

Nawa for this trend.
Nawa.

aw hello Radiant, dear 

Thanks for the response kacey, I see what you are saying. Yes sometimes people do away with warning signs and then are completely surprised when certain things happen later on. As malicious as I might soound, I don't pity those people however

the first part I quoted, how exactly does the girl know considering the guy isnt obviously going to be like "yea well I'm dating you for your fine backside blah blah"? Even the ones that go around screaming for virgins to marry. They marry said virgin but that doesnt stop them from running after the biggest sluts eventually so what's the deal?

and lol @ looking at the mother. hahha. you shallow monkey  . That doesnt always work you know. What if she gets the genes from the father or grandparents and what if they are dead and you can't compare  

really like I said i don't mean everyone should just pack and leave but still, don't fool yourself into staying within the marriage if you KNOW you just can't give your 100% trust again. If the trust can not be regained than there really isnt no point anymore. You'll both just be miserable and that's a horrible way to live.

I haven't been on nairaland in a while but came across this thread while scheming through ,

It's amazing how most of the guys who've responded seem to think that a woman leaving her husband who cheats is being unfair, and it's even more amazing that they find it difficult to accept the fact that some women will simply not stay with a cheating husband.

I'm very much married, and have been so for close to five years. I for one will NEVER stay with a cheating husband. There are many many things I can tolerate in a marriage relationship, but cheating is an absolute deal breaker, whether it happens just once or multiple times. I can never cheat on my husband, no matter what and I definitely expect the same thing from him.  

No man or woman is perfect. I'm sure my husband is not the best provider or even the best in bed and he's definitely not the most handsome man on the planet. He's not exactly a gladiator either and the nature of my  job brings me around lots of men who are more of everything that my husband is, and who even make advances towards me, knowing fully well that I'm married with a kid. Does that mean that I would cheat on my husband? Of course not. There are times when the husband becomes downright annoying, unreasonable and nearly bores me to tears. There are also times when he pays more attention to that new car or laptop or even to the dumb political newspaper than to me. Will I use these as excuses to seek comfort in the arms of another man? Of course not. If I have a problem with him, we sit, discuss and resolve and if there are habits each of us needs to tolerate in the other, we do so (just as long as those habits are not destructive).

I expect the exact same thing from my husband. I'm thoroughly amazed by the guys on this site that seem to blame their women when they (the men) cheat. That's just stupid. When you marry, you make a commitment. Whether or not you keep that commitment is a question of integrity. If you cheat, it's because you have no integrity. Period. Do you honestly expect the woman to look her best or be on her best behavior always? You must be kidding me!! There will be really bad hair days -- and lots of them for that matter -- and your commitment means you  have to stick with them rather than run into the arms of another woman and later turn around to blame your actions on your wife.

No man (or woman) who cheats is worth staying with -- what a waste of time!! If you have problems in your marriage, stay there and solve those problems. And if you think you absolutely can't handle the problems and don't know how to pray, then get a divorce and get out. It's a more honorable thing to do than to go cheating, as if cheating will solve the problem. It's disgusting just to think about. Can you imagine your spouse sleeping with another?? It's disgusting just thinking about it   . I definitely won't put up with it for 2 seconds.

I was talking about YOUR existance, Donz 

and your friend is probably still sobbing over my "yo' momma" comment anyway.