Radiant & I Discuss: cheating in the marriage

u talking about this site ?

i was just search for a something about cinemas in  nigeria and it just gave me this site and i was like well its a good thing i can talk to people in homeland i really missed being home .

well i am new if u know any new things  about the site let me know too, Dare is my name.

How was home when you left it? 

Allright keep praying, I wonder where the minds and hands that will do the development are!

Well home is home,stagnant as ever!

oh my God! 

why wait to find out if he cheats repeatedly, a man who's cheated once can do it again and again.
I won't advise anyone to stay nor would i when i find out about the first because it's not just about jealousy, but there are lots of STIs around.
Apart from HIV, there are all sorts of hepatitis which are just as bad and africans tend to overlook.
I'd pack my bags, so i can be healthy and stay alive for my kids

Trust is built! It's not like falling in love. Trust is built as events occur and as sound communication exists.

I really wonder how many marriages would've been left on earth if people were to walk out at the hit of a breaking news on cheating.

I don't advice anyone to leave instantly. It's almost bound to happen but you can still work things out. It's advisable to remain single instead if u can't stand a first news. I mean, you get married today and your spouse cheats on u 6 months down the line. You pregnant already, what d'u do? You just walk out? Hmmm! As much as I hate a man to cheat on me, I still find it strange to leave just like that. It all depends on how and why the whole thing happened.You can always work things out if the man isn't taking you for granted anyway.

between, is it forbidden for couples to use condom? As for STDs and co, why would a man/woman have sex with another without a condom?

As for me, the issue of getting married is like folktales to me at the moment. It's actually the last on my agenda. Sorry to say but it's true. If and if I eventually make up my mind to get married, I'm not planning to walk out of it immediately if the man cheated on me. If it continues, then that's a problem and when I make up my mind to leave, the man will have to run for his life 'cause planet earth won't contain both of us. It will be history!

Ummm. . . u over there. what's your name again? Papa D, I thought Nairaland Superman was a nuisance until u stepped in. You know, u just a waste to the society where u live in and a complete disgrace to all men for making such comments. What kind of girl have you got within your sorry 4 walls? Will you get out of here and go hang yourself. Idiot!

Don't mind that good for nothing animal.

@ papa D

After reading your post, I must say that I am very much not impresssed by your post. As a man, it is your responsibility to help and assist the family in whatever way you can mention. Women have equal rights as men do, the issues of superiority should be damned from any married couples. Love is the major reason for marriage, I hope you know what it means(if you don't, you can always ask).

@Radiant & TOH

I understand the reason for the calling of names, and I don't blame you for expressing your feeling. But don't you think it is rather an inappropriate way or manner to prove someone wrong?. Let there be more sense of maturity in your post. Calling of names won't solve the question.

P.S. - Not all boys, guys, men are the same.

Maybe we wouldnt have given that moron such a hard time if he didnt make such stupid generalization. blah blah builder of the house, should be able to tolerate anything yada yada. Maybe for his own american wife (I can bet you he couldnt try that with her anyway) but to speak like it's some sort of truth. I don't think so.

as for you and your wife. Congrats
 although it's kind of weird how you replied like oh, if she didnt give you such a reponse you would have considered cheating or something. It's like um does she have to tell you she'd be hurt before you know not to even consider stuff, i don't know. maybe I'm just confuzzled abit.

You know what, I suggest you girls should just wait until you're ripe enough for marriage. Then lets hear your story, as in how you ''manage'' your marriage. Or are you both planning to remain singles all through your life?

Well, I was really surprise when she talked about cheating. I thot I'll hear something like  '''the day I raise my finger at her and beat her, or yelled at her and call her terrible names, thinks like that. Honestly, the impression I got after her reply was that she thinks I have the ''tendency'' of cheating on her and I felt pretty bad. So I told myself, I will not do it. I was a virging for 29 years before we got married. Could that be the reason for her fears? That because she's the only woman in my life, I might be tempted to look out of our home and go after other women?

Well, I've made up my mind, and I'm not going back. It will be difficult, I've come this far and have many ladies as friends, but I don't think the friendship will degenerate to the level of adultery.

I've always found the word "ripe" gross. Sounds disgusting, what about you Rad?

anyway if you believe that we don't have the "right" to discuss such things because we arent married then maybe you should have just ignore the thread. Again, i don't ahve any patience whatsoever for people trying to order me. don't tell me what I can or cannot talk about. What the hell does status have to do with this question? Do we not already know ourselves, what we are willing to tolerate or accept from whoever? We're not retards, we know OURSELVES thus we're giving opinions on how WE would go about certain things
That really can't be so hard to comprehend now can it?

as for your wife, that's probably what she feels, maybe you've given her signs making her think that way


You should do a blood oath for her.  

@ThiefOfHearts


i completely agree with you, marriage is suppose to be forever, we both promise (in front of "god" family and friends to be faithfull, love and care for each other until death.

Then of course the lady have to have babies and is sick, and do not want to have sex, she is miserable because there is this big ass belly in front off her, she have piles, thrush,back ache, swollen ankles, head ache, vomitting FOR 9 MONTH AND SOME SUBBORN ASS BABIES CAN TAKE ANOTHER EXTRA TWO WEEK.
the man is suppose to understand all this and be quite caring  and FAITHFULL.

Then there is the birth about 8lb of head is forcing itself out of you, when that is over, there is the pain of being ripped apart, coupled with the pain of breast feeding, nipples sooooooooo sore that they bleed, no sleep because of a loud crying baby, and  obviously the man do not have breast, so, he can't wake up to change a nappy.


Now after i go through all off the above, i must also put up with the fact that he is sleepping with another woman, taking her ass out to dinner while i am at home covered in sick and piss. I DON'T THINK SO.  

not all the time, my first pregnancy i loved it thought that all would be the same how wrong i was.


my last one i was SO sick  i was hospitalize, i lost so much wait because i could not eat.



it is no walk in the park love.    

Be lost in the woods! Pig!