Radiant & I Discuss: cheating in the marriage

Ok, since na wetin u wan hear be this, guguru night!!

U this yeye mai-guard!! lol

wendywendy without offense are you one of these as long he did not do it to me.?
Murder is killing someone  on poppose sometimes you even plan it.
There is a big difference between murder and man saluter.
A man FORGOT his child in the sun : Forgot _{.And that is not so bad??}.
I know one can say cheating is almost equal to manslaughter. But you have a Chance of making your peace with god.

mamaput, I'm not too sure I understand your question. But all I'm saying is that if I were the wife of the man in question, I will not leave him on that basis. Of course it will hurt, I mean, that's gross negligence that resulted in the death of a 6month old baby which I'm sure the mom was only just beginning to bond with. I will be extremely angry, I'll most likely spend months grieving but I won't divorce him and I'll even reach out to him and help him overcome his own guilt feelings. He's not a murderer (otherwise he would have murdered the other kids as well) and I'll view this as a mistake, albeit very costly. But I won't divorce him because of that. That's all i'm saying.

Actually, I think what doesn't make sense is the one who is stupid enough to go cheating after being with someone for 10+ years and building a life together  Smiley Why risk a 10+ year relationship together with a whole life time for some flimsy fling that'll only last just a few minutes anyway?Huh? Now that's what shouldn't make sense to you!!

wendywindy

u make cheating sound as if it is the end of the world
sin is sin u know how many times u have lied to who ever

do u know some men can't withstand lying women

according to my man donzman throwing ur life away after 10 years is not an easy function to carry out u should even ask yourself how come after the first 2 children u decided not to take care of yourself u then sagged with extra 50kg

or u started using sex as a weapon well too bad he even accepted that he erred and u called it cheating
to me u could go and hang when u get ur acts together the marriage continues

u think because u are married it is now an excuse as a wife to mis-function, that u have caged the man then turn him to a toy?

if all u ladies complaining about cheating men should all for once look deep into yourself and ask why did he cheat?
because if u were doing what u were supposed to be doing he wont be cheating

in most men cheating situation the wife(spouse)caused it in more than 70% different ways

First of all, additional 50kg or whatever, last i checked "for better for worse", one could say the same about married men who end up with bald heads and pot bellies, can we leave them too when they start that shit?

as for "why did he cheat, blah blah wife is at fault", would you say the same about a woman that ends up cheating on the husband? If anything, NOT to sound like a "femnazi" as this has been proven by many researches, when a woman cheats it usually IS the guy's fault as woman are more emotional as guys cheat because they just see sex as being just that, sex.

My point exactly. The other day, I took a look at my husband's hairline and found that he is going bald   . I've never liked bald men and I remember telling him when we were dating long ago that if he were bald I wouldn't even touch him with a foot-long pole talkless of date him   . But today he's going bald _{and i'm still shocked}. But will I leave him because of that??? Or would I go cheat on him because of that??? Of course not!!! I'll learn to love it. And if it bothers me that much, we'll talk about hair transplant   or whatever else. But cheating is definitely not an option.

So is putting on weight after child-birth.

And before you argue that there are some women who don't put on weight after childbirth, may I remind you that there are some men who don't go bald or suffer any form of hair loss or even develop a pot belly

No it's not!

Yeah developing a pot belly isn't natural. I really don't care, I'm not bald but just trying to put in words for the bald men.

shut it and stop speaking for others, Donz

I'm sure someone will love your balding self.  

my dad's 58 and praying for baldness.

What a bitch move on your part 

First of all you people whined that blah blah sincve we're (Rad and I) arent married we arent capable of giving an opinion on this yet there's a married woman giving her own and you feel the need to bash her too? Not cool at all.
She's married, yea so what is wrong is her believing people deserve better than a disrespectful cheating spouse?

anyway make whatever excuses you wnat, if you want to use "after birth weight" against a female, we can use pot belly. Finito.

I believe I've highlighted the operative word here, Kaecy5.

I think some of our fellow Nairalanders should take heed.

_{By the way--I agree with you, WindyWendy.}

To me, a marriage relationship (and any relationship for that matter) should be healthy and should be based on mutual respect and consideration. Each person has something to bring to the table and everyone benefits. It shouldn't be based on one of the partners feeling that they can do whatever they want and get away with it just because they think they're in a superior position to the other partner or because they think they're doing the other partner a favor by being in a relationship with them as opposed to someone else. In your case, I'm guessing that you're the kind of man that'll threaten your woman with the thought of going to another woman if she doesn't behave the way you want. Now if you have a woman with a healthy self esteem and that believes she deserves much better in life, she'll tell you to go to hell and get on with her life.  A relationship like that is absolutely unhealthy, manipulative and unnecessary. It's too much stress and I don't have to live with it.

Having said that, I'm not in any way an insecure person and definitely don't go comparing myself to any other person. I absolutely love the way I look and love who I am. So the one thing I never do is compare myself to others or compare my husband to other men, it's extremely unhealthy and could quickly become a manipulative tool. Once I made the decision to marry him, it was good-bye to all others for good 

I have no doubts concerning my husband. He's a great guy _{why else would I bear his kids?.} The fact however remains that I CAN'T STAND CHEATING, and that's the one thing I'll get a divorce for. Period.

PS: I really don't count myself lucky that I have a husband that loves me for me. I love him for him and I'm a blessing to him in every way _{believe me, i know what i'm talking about}. The least we can expect from each other is love and healthy respect. He serves me, puts me first and treats me with so much kindness and consideration and I serve him too. That's the way it should be  

i wont actually

not been able to cheat on her for some years we have been datin so i doubt when we eventually tie the knot if  i would cheat

but u sure made a hell of a point about comparing because i have come to understand anytime we compare we loose in both cases

TOH

with a name as this -ThiefOfHearts- i hope u don't steal people's spouses
what goes around comes around