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ThiefOfHearts (f)
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TOH
with a name as this -ThiefOfHearts- i hope u don't steal people's spouses
what goes around comes around
hm yea Thanks for the advice. |
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Donzman (m)
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ThiefofHearts is scared,  |
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Donzman (m)
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That's what you get for being a ThiefofHeartsOne day yours will be stolen and it will be stolen from the person that stole it.  |
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Uche2nna (m)
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From what I gather from this thread, this is my summary: When getting married, forget about the better; Settle for the worse.  sagging breast,additional pounds,disproportionate hips,receding hairline,potbellies,snoring,halitosis etc |
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WesleyanA (f)
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i was reading a newsweek article supposedly, marriage a century ago was "mainly a practical arrangement to provide financial stability for women and a place to raise children" but it has basically become so idealized and people expect so much from it now. they look for not only "love and romance but also self-fulfilment and personal growth" and it's because of these reasons that marriage may be on the decline/ failing. Not to mention women are becoming financially stable and self dependent and i've been trying to figure out why arranged marriages worked so well. lol problems probably only occur in these cases either when money runs short or there are fertility/child issues. From what I gather from this thread, this is my summary: When getting married, forget about the better; Settle for the worse. sagging breast,additional pounds,disproportionate hips,receding hairline,potbellies,snoring,halitosis etcnot exactly  but don't idealize your partner/ marriage or believe marriage is some fulfiling utopia or something. things happen. My opinion on cheating is that if you feel that you can't handle a marriage where your partner constantly cheats on you, by all means get a divorce. but if you feel you can carry on w/o any problems, or that you can "work it out" then stay in it. It all has to do with personal preference/emotional strenght I guess. |
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windywendy (f)
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From what I gather from this thread, this is my summary: When getting married, forget about the better; Settle for the worse. sagging breast,additional pounds,disproportionate hips,receding hairline,potbellies,snoring,halitosis etcPartly true but not all true. There's definitely lots of "better" in the marriage relationship. If nothing else, it stretches you into becoming flexible and you learn to take life less seriously which can be a really good thing for your health. For me, it has also reinforced my sense of self-confidence and purpose, and made me a much better person. And then the kids come and along with that comes all of the thrills and rewards of parenting of course there are challenges too, but that's a whole nother story. Plus being love and cared for sacrificially by another human is definitely one BIG "better". However people change, especially physically. That hunky husband with the adorable muscles and 6-pack abs suddenly begins to get chubby in all the wrong places and lose the very full head of hair that you loved to run your fingers through  . And if you're an exercise junkie like me, you'll still find yourself surrounded by all of your hunky gym buddies with killer 6-pack abs and muscles that . . . I'll leave the ladies to fill in the blanks, but you all get the idea. What are you going to do then? ?? Will I because of the husband's newly acquired physical features begin to fantasize about another guy or even go to the extent of cheating? Of course not. I made a commitment to the Husband at the altar and will learn to love that chubbiness and the receeding hairline afterall it's still the same loveable person in that body. |
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goodguy (m)
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I made a commitment to the Husband at the altar And I want to believe a part of that commitment says, "Till death do us apart", and not "Till cheating do us apart".  afterall it's still the same loveable person in that body. Yeah, just like it's still the same loveable man that only made a costly mistake.  (okay, okay you say it isn't a mistake, I hear you!  ) But seriously, are you aware that men that cheat on their wives really do love their wives so dearly? Why do you think they try as much as possible to keep their infedility a secret from their wives, and will do almost anything to prevent their wives from knowing about their illicit affairs? Do you also know that men that cheat tend to guard their wives more jealously from 'predators' than other normal men? Most men do not cheat on their wives because they no longer love them, most actually do out of covetousness. |
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windywendy (f)
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And I want to believe a part of that commitment says, "Till death do us apart", and not "Till cheating do us apart". Yeah, but the basis of marriage is biblical and the bible does allow for divorce on the grounds of infidelity thank GodYeah, just like it's still the same loveable man that only made a costly mistake. (okay, okay you say it isn't a mistake, I hear you! ) You already answered that one . And eventhough I don't believe it's ever a mistake, I'm glad you used the word "costly" because yes, it could cost him his marriage. But seriously, are you aware that men that cheat on their wives really do love their wives so dearly?
I don't think so. You certainly don't kill someone you love. I mean your statement is just riddled with contradiction. How can you CHEAT on someone you love??? The word Cheat doesn't go with love  Why do you think they try as much as possible to keep their infedility a secret from their wives, and will do almost anything to prevent their wives from knowing about their illicit affairs? Do you also know that men that cheat tend to guard their wives more jealously from 'predators' than other normal men? Most men do not cheat on their wives because they no longer love them, most actually do out of covetousness.
I'll tell you why. . . It's because they don't want to suffer the consequencies of their actions. It's human nature, people who tell lies will try as much as possible to cover up their lies, just as people who steal or kill will try as much as possible to cover up their act all in a bid to escape the consequencies of their actions. It has nothing to do with love, it's just selfishness. If the same man goes out and does some really good deed, he won't try to hide it from anyone. Infact he'll blow his own trumpet if no one takes notice. Yes, men that cheat like you said try to "guard" their wives from "predators", just the same thing with women that cheat. The reason IMO is because they don't trust themselves with the opposite sex and so don't trust their partners with the opposite sex either. For a man that cheats and the same applies to a cheating woman, it's foreign to his mind for a woman to have close male friends without those male friends trying to sleep with her. I mean the guy knows how he is with women and believes that all other men are like that too. He'll therefore become insanely jealous of his wife's male friends or constantly try to "guard" her from "predators" like you say. Again, it has absolutely nothing to do with love. |
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ThiefOfHearts (f)
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They seem to forget that infidelity/adultery is actually grounds for divorce, wendy. BOOYAH But seriously, are you aware that men that cheat on their wives really do love their wives so dearly? .
Yea when you love someone so much, you try so hard to disrespect them as much as possible *rolls eyes* |
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goodguy (m)
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I don't think so. You certainly don't kill someone you love. I mean your statement is just riddled with contradiction. How can you CHEAT on someone you love??? The word Cheat doesn't go with love People cheat out of covetousness, hoping their partners do not find out. As far as the partner does not find out, the cheater is cool with it. I do not think anyone will cheat to intentionally "kill" the partner. The "murder" only takes place when the cat is let out of the bag. So you see, they really do love their partners, and that's why they'll do almost anything to keep it secret so that their partner is not "killed" on finding out. The reason you gave is also applicable anyway. But then, possibilities should not be limited to only one side of an issue. |
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goodguy (m)
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They seem to forget that infidelity/adultery is actually grounds for divorce, wendy. But it is not a commandment. The Bible is more like: "If you can't handle it, you're justified to leave. But if you can work it out, good luck!" |
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ThiefOfHearts (f)
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exactly Good Luck to those who are able to give complete trust after all that. It's pretty admirable but "good" pity to those that do but their spouses continue to hurt them again because they "love them so dearly" as you put it.
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goodguy (m)
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No one in their right senses will cheat on their spouse after being forgiven.
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goodguy (m)
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Modified: Post moved here.
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ThiefOfHearts (f)
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"But I say to you that every one who divorces his wife, except on the ground of unchastity, makes her an adulteress; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery." (Matt 5:32, RSV)
except on the grounds of infidelity. The end. anyway back to the original topic, Thank You. |
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goodguy (m)
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Did you even bother to read the explanation of the text? I even provided that version you quoted just for the sake of clarity. |
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ThiefOfHearts (f)
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That I did. No one said He was advocating divorce.
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goodguy (m)
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Analysing that text itself, how do you expect Jesus to say divorce is justified only on the grounds of adultery, and then go ahead to say, "it makes her an adulteress". Does it even make sense to you? 'because it doesn't to me.
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ThiefOfHearts (f)
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Not in the mood for this right now, goodguy. Ok cool no grounds for divorce. Let him take our place in a marriage where there might be domestic abuse or a cheating STD infected gnome.
I'm not for making this thread a religious battleground. I take back my comment about God and divorce in the first place.
Back to Pre-Bible discussion mode please
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goodguy (m)
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Actually, you didnt start the talk about God. Windywendy did. Ok cool no grounds for divorce. Let him take our place in a marriage where there might be domestic abuse or a cheating STD infected gnome.
Well, the scriptures quoted above are not my words, apparently. God bless.  |
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windywendy (f)
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@ Goodguy, what Jesus said is clear. He is neither justifying adultery nor divorce. Look at the NIV version of Matt.5:31: 31"It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.'[f] 32But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.It's clear. Anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adultress. I mean think about it this way, if she wasn't unfaithful maritally, then she wasn't an adultress in the first place. But if she was already unfaithful maritally (i.e was already sleeping with another man while married to the husband) she was already an adultress. So it's not the divorce that makes her an adultress because she already is . So if the husband divorces her, he does not make her an adultress. I believe that's why Jesus made the exception in that passage. Do you get that now? |
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ThiefOfHearts (f)
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gah people.
wendy I already mentioned that. Really no point anyway I don't want to have to wade through the sermon like responses he's most likely to give.
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windywendy (f)
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unfortunately, i'm not following you there i'm married remember??? which means I can't be following guys (especially "good guys" ) around |
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goodguy (m)
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I responded already. Radiant, I'm as calm as a dove. |
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Eurphoria (f)
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Right radiant, TOH , and co BACK To TOPIC I beleive you were looking for my ass Radiant--- |
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Eurphoria (f)
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please oh before they say we are lesbos |
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Radiant (f)
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And you'll explain how we do it on NL |
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kaecy5 (m)
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how do u people do it
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