Radiant & I Discuss: cheating in the marriage

you kidding david, get off!

Very smart dear, at least if during the marriage they now test positive for something they can start trying to figure out who cheated.  

11th commandment - thou shalt not cheat. Simple obedience keeps the divorce lawyer away! Well unless you are a rich boy and the woman wants out even when you did not cheat knowing full well she is "entitled" to half your fortune!  

When y'all get married and have kids, then you will understand that 'cheating' may not be the worst thing you will have to deal with. Until then, you all can get hoarse arguing this issue.

hmm until then------still this is a major deal so no point trying to brush it off mister

@Ugwumba, from 1 with experience, well said!!

oh we rude sorry ---Hi promise

hmm. . . 

@ offtopic -kitaun how you dey? Will catch up with you on the Thierry/ Kanu / Drogba chat.

@ WesleyanA - I no be small pikin oh!!!!! Decode the hmmmmmm.

goodnite folks going too offtopic now *yawn* bed calls

bony creatures? u talkin 2 me?

Euph, just I'm u

@Eurph, gnite!

Haha TOH!!! 

 


Methinks those are pretty good grounds for a man to issue his wife with divorce summons eh 
With the exception of # 12
#11 is out of this, she would have gotten her education before tying the knot.

I agree with the Original Poster. No one should have to endure cheating from anyone, men or women, so yes, it's grounds for divorce, imo. Personally, it's hard to trust someone again once they've broken your trust. It'll be hard with kids involved, but trying to stay in that marriage will just be a waste of time and ridiculous, like trying to eat pounded yam without the stew,  cause I just can't respect that person again, or have the same amount of trust for them. and that's important to marriage.
The sad thing is many times people I notice who have these problems do go into relationships with false or preconceived notions, like someone pointed out. You can't change people, people change when they decide to do so, not because of a ring on their finger. Marraige won't fix whatever problems/habits people had before they went into marriage, not unless that person makes a conscious effort to change. So If you're not on the same page about your expectations before getting married, then you're prolly going to have some problems in the future.  I also think many people, especially females see Marriage as some fairy tale. People should go into it with realistic expectations.
I think if both individuals are committed and determined to make the marriage work, they'll do so. Meaning if there are problems, you both make an effort to work it out and COMMUNICATE, instead of going out or running around etc, and if it's aproblem that can't be fixed, then it's time people go their separate ways, but at least with some dignity and respect and not bitterness and anger  (or STD, STI,) and people feeling like all their time, energy, and resources put into the relationship has gone to waste, 
Yes temptation is a mutha, and it doesn't help that everywhere we go everything is SEX! SEX! SEX! (speaking of the west, particularly) but I think ultimately when you have something worth more than that in your marriage, you'll think twice before you risk losing it over a fling.
Marriage is not for everyone and if monogamy is not your cup of tea,  then don't get into marraige with someone who believes in monogamy and expects you both to keep to that dogma, cause it's deceitful and unfair. Na my 2 cents be that.

@ TOH, Radiant and Co.

I don't think the idea of marriage makes an important meaning to you, maybe you think it is just a formal declaration or contract by which act a man and a woman join in wedlock(Dictionary Meaning). But do you think thats it!

Before you step into marriage, you must have known well who you are getting involved with except maybe it is not him you are after but his wealth or properties. If your spouse cheats on you, first look at the possibilities, and if you see it ain't reasonable for such infidelity to occur, then you can divorce.  But your ways of approach to it is more or less like, "Two can play in that Game", which will only make you infamous in your deeds.

Marriage is not about rings, papers, house, looks and intercourse, but about mutual understanding between both partners and strong commitments via wedlock. But this generation as turned it otherwise, and an undiscerning culture as rapidly evolve round people making them blind of what they are going into, that is why we see lots of breakups everyday.
Its a shame in my own perspective.