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layi (m)
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I have a female friend who i see as a ruby amongst Ladies, a diamond in the dirt. She's got a Heart of Gold. I can't highlight all her good qualities because i might run out of energy  . The problem is that she hardly speaks good english. She's got everything a man needs in a lady (I'm not in love o) and if I'm to rate her..she scores A +. She is from a not-too-comfortable home, not privilege enough to have attended private school so that was responsible for the flaw. She is in a tertiary institution now but that has not helped a bit. How bad is her english!..Gosh!! Its relatively bad. She's my best female friend..(even made sacrifices for me) but I'm tired of speaking english wit her like I'm in Kindergarten. As far as english language is concerened, she's a terrorist..throwing bombs everywhere. I resort to Yoruba when it becomes chaotic. Shes too nice to have that flaw..Its not about dating her now.I just want to touch her Life. How do u think she can be helped? I've thought of getting her lots of books including novels or helping her out of d country to continue her education (costly though). Any practical Ideas? |
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nferyn (m)
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It's extremely difficult to unlearn bad grammar after puberty. Reading won't help that much either. She needs to socialise in an environment where she only hears grammatically correct english in order not to fall into her hard wired bad English grammar.
She should socialise as little as possible with people that speak incorreclty.
Vocabulary or pronunciation won't be that much of an issue, training and practice is what is needed.
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layi (m)
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Thanx
Point Noted.
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IAH (f)
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I believe she can still master the language. People learn new languages everyday. You can get her a professional home tutor. Besides, why does she have to speak good English as your wife anyway? It's not compulsory. You can always communicate in Yoruba.
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layi (m)
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And when i take her out.....?
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IAH (f)
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Ehen and what's the big deal? You can just tell your friends or the people there jokingly that your wife doesn't speak good english. Com'on it's no big deal. I mean chinese and other european people here don't speak good English and they see it as no big deal because it's not their language! It's we Africans that see it as a stigma.
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layi (m)
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I wish it wasnt a big deal but my dear it is. Good u know we see as a stigma. How long will i just tell your friends or the people there jokingly that your wife doesn't speak good english
40,50,60 years? Its the lingua franca here. The world s becoming global village. Deficiency in English language poses great limitation on the 'victim'. Its become a world language. Abi na only yoruba folks she go dey relate with all her life? It would be difficult if she's married to an elite o |
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lauryn (f)
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 no offence but its funny, i'm going to be in nigeria soon, so maybe she could hang around with me and trust me she would learn
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Seun (m)
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It is easier to teach English to a wife material than to turn a good English speaking lady into a wife material.
However, if your love for her depends on her grasp of the English language, it will lead to a lifetime of quarrels. Because you will be correcting her all the time, and after a while she'll just snap, shoot your head off (with her mouth), and run off with your gardener! It is not wise to marry someone if you can't accept her just the way she is, without any improvements whatsoever.
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Fumi (f)
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Hi, in my opinion its important to speak a second language today. I speak German aswell as very little Yoruba (I'm still learning  ) But i mastered Englisch very well in school. If you are travelling today or if you are beyond higher class people and you don't speak any other language, they will never really respect you. And to see, that someone is not respecting your partner because of that, how will you feel also?! My husband is speaking Yoruba, Swedish and German. Not perfect though, but he is also learning everyday. And if you want to associate with people from different countries (on holidays etc.), you must learn English/French or Spanish. If not, you are lost. I would recommend for this lady to learn vocabulary first. Practice speaking with her every day. Watch englisch-speaking Television like CNN and so on.. Make her read englisch Novells. That should do for the beginning. But She must be willing to learn also. If she´s not, no way. Greetings fumi |
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ijebuman (m)
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@@layi
there's nothing much you can do unless she sees it as an issue and wants to improve her English. If you really like her then you have to be prepared to accept her warts and all
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WesleyanA (f)
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@ Layi, good english is not a big deal  . maybe if she couldn't speak yoruba + english. that would be a problem. as long as you two can communicate and get each other in another language there's no problem. If i liked a guy that couldn't speak english right, (actually i have but he already had a girl.  .. he was a foreign exchange student from some town in France. gosh he's sexy!!!) i'll just learn french and move to france and speak his language. who cares about english. psshh.. . . as long as you two get each other in another language. who cares about what people will say or think. . .(well, you're excused because you say you don't love her ) wait, you say she's wife material, do you just like her for her character or do you want to marry her? it'll be difficult if she's married to an elite an elite is who? someone who doesn't speak yoruba? . . . . |
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joftech (m)
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I will rather go for her than go for a girl with queen's English. God did not make everything to be 100% OK for us all. At least her character has made up for her deficiency in English.
As long as she can write her name and express herself in very simple English am cool with her.
The American populate were surprised when Fantasia Barrino came out to tell the whole world that she is an illiterate, but that did stop her from being what she has become today.
Like i always said, your attitude is the main determinant in the equation of life , not your education.
Layi all you need is the right attitude toward her, trust me you will even forget that side of her that's pickling you about her.
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larger_20 (m)
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If that girl is all u just described and just lack english language, I will take her as a wife. more than 50% of spanish people in the us don't speak english...I think people make out a big deal in nigeria about english..it is not common even in the US.
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hot-angel (f)
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If that girl is all u just described and just lack english language, I will take her as a wife. more than 50% of spanish people in the us don't speak english...I think people make out a big deal in nigeria about english..
True talk! |
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prettyH (f)
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Lets face facts, in Nigeria, when u get to a certain level, it is expected that u speak impeccable English. Layi let no one tell u its not important. It matters alot except u never want to be seen in public with her. How would it be when u are in a gathering of of say biz colleagues, of course she'll contribute to discussions now abi or do u want her to open her mouth and every one takes cover. let no one deceive u, very few guys will ever marry a woman who ain't fluent in English.Not to even talk of chicks that make it one of the prerequisite for dating.
As for me, if she really is a good friend as such, always try and communicate in English instead of Yoruba because thats her weak point. As nferyn rightly pointed out, let her socialize more in an English environment but she'll pick up the language gradually.
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layi (m)
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True word. I kno she can improve. I'll try my best. I don't believe in tolerating such. She wasnt born wit it. Its sure redeemable.
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disney (f)
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Hi, I got the best solution for you, but lets not forget that change comes from the mind. I hope she too is willing is change. What you should do for real is to try and speak only english to her. Forget using any other thing when talking to her, don't speak pidgin or yoruba to her. no no no. Just pure english, if she doesn't get it , let her turn to the dictionary. Thats the best way...................am telling you soon enough she be changed. Also, don't forget to get her an english tutor.or english books, novels that help in vocabulary. Soon u be surprised she be speaking english pass yours.. english is easy to teach or to change one.............eg, look at the chinese people , they can learn english, spanish people can speak english, korean too learn english, So it is really very easy for your babe to change in that she is a nigerian already speaking english.........wish u best of luck . just follow my advice. |
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omogenikky (f)
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Layi, don't let people tell you it's not important.....all that stuff about chinese not speaking english and not caring and thats its only africans that bother is all washwash. If a chinese man wants to live and die in chinatown, let him not learn english.
but if he doesnt and hopes to partake in opportunities beyond his chinatown boundary, he had better get cracking.
helping ur friend really depends on her attitude towards her problem and if she really considers it a problem. if she surrounds herself with people who speak like her, she might think its okay and she will forever feel comfortable amongst them and not have an incentive to learn better english. remember, if a person knows he/she shoots, he wouldnt do it.....its only because he doesnt know that he does it.............we notice when people shoot when talking meanwhile they just go on because they don't know they just shot.
anyway, if she is ready to learn, you have to start from the basics.......the tenses......a lot of people who shoot really only need to learn their tenses. Like........."I tell her yesterday" "all we need to does"...............problem is with the "tell and the does"................buying primary school macmillan textbook for her will do better than buying things fall apart for her.......and tell her to surround herself more with people who speak good english.
The most important thing however, is her willingness to learn, without that...........nothing can be done
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goodguy (m)
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PrettyH and omoge are right. English speaking is very important, especially if you're from an English speaking country. But one thing you should know is that you shouldn't make her learn in a way that will make her feel embarrassed. I think you should know the best way to handle that.. |
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nferyn (m)
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[SNIP] english is easy to teach or to change one.............eg, look at the chinese people , they can learn english, spanish people can speak english, korean too learn english, So it is really very easy for your babe to change in that she is a nigerian already speaking english.........wish u best of luck . just follow my advice. Please do not forget that it is very difficult to unlearn bad grammar. Your brain is wired to learn the basics of the grammar of your language quickly and easily. Once that knowledge is firmly established, it is very difficult to break the existing neural pathways. The longer you wait, the less chance of success you'll have. |
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larger_20 (m)
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When are we going to talk about the importance of nigerian languages..Why English all the time? I can speak Igbo,hause and yoruba! + some french, german and spanish.....
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Seun (m)
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Layi, if she's not interested in improving, then leave her alone. This issue is not worth losing a friend over. Friends are supposed to accept each other. If she wanted an English tutor, she'll have hired one. Now since she does not want an English tutor, what do you gain by troubling her?  |
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damygurl (f)
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they r right she gotta want to improve and if she puts her mind to it it's possible. if she keeps practising then she gon be perfect in it!!! take my story i went to one of da best pry private skools till i got to jssi. my english then was high class then i started da public school and i don't speak english at home anymore and i do a little ibon sometimes and it was hard to talk everytime in english!!this started because da kids were loking at me like i'm trying to be proud or something and show them that i'm from a rich home so i changed and it really did hurt me later on because after JSS3 they changed me to diz high class private school and they wanted more english and less yoruba. it was very hard 4 me because i was into speaking yoruba everytime. there was diz one time this girl said something and it hurt me i don know her exact word but she said something like u gon know she's just from a public school. after about some months i started improving and my english did change and everything was aight. it wazn't perfect but it's better dan most!!
when i moved to united state it became better because except 4 my family and some friends i gotta speak english to everyone else. if da peeps around u keep saying something u sorta adapt to it!!
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Oracle (m)
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well i don't know what to say but uh i believe she a good friend from the story
we were given. so man just make sure u don't make her feel bad.
whateva the case maybe. if she doesnt want it leave her but try speaking good
english to her evryday, evrytime and evrywhere men u'll be surprised she'll pick it up
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CimonJorr (m)
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Dude, Have u talked to her about it?.. What does she feel??... For all peeps who feel that english is overated, remember that that's the very language you're using to communicate in this forum... Curious that many peeps (people) who are based overseas don't consider english important, and hardly type english any better.. |
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prettyH (f)
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Seun , i'm shocked that u r saying this. Even right here on NL, u always specify on our written english because it depicts who u are. Not only that, why is there a spell check function button? Isn't it to serve as a means of correcting words as well as ensuring we use correct grammar. Okay if English a'int important, why do u go on about it? Why not leave us to write the way we want now. please what u write shows ur level of spoken English. Layi see, encourage her to speak English, i don't think that will end ur friendship. At the end she won't regret it. When are we going to talk about the importance of nigerian languages..Why English all the time? I can speak Igbo,hause and yoruba! + some french, german and spanish..... No one is saying the Nigerian languages are not important, but right now, english is the lingua franca, we like it or not. Good for u if u speak a thousand languages. Most times people who speak various languages do it because they either have a flair in picking up languages or due to reducing the communication barriers in a place. For u to pick up other languages, then ur english must first be polished. |
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obong (m)
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you mean she doesnt spean 'proper' english. not she dosn't speak 'good' english
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layi (m)
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Na u sabi Remove the spec in ur eyes first you mean she doesnt spean 'proper' english. not she dosn't speak 'good' english
Its Speak not spean............doesnt not dosn't |
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prettyH (f)
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you mean she doesnt spean 'proper' english. not she dosn't speak 'good' english
Is there a difference? @ layi Take it easy now, i don't think he mearnt it as a yab. The way u r behaving are u sure there's not more that meets the eye with u and this girl |
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