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Rhea (m)
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This ain't no typo. Your girlfriend for 4 years dumped you days after you popped the question.
Before you judge:
He's intelligent and well educated
He's got a 7-figure per annum job
He's affectionate and down to earth
He's turned down countless proposals and recommendations from family and friends
He ain't no pimp.
He's God-fearing
He would make the ideal brother-in-law (if only I had a sister)
Now this has happened and his whole world seems to have caved in at the moment.
I need to cheer him up, but then I need the right words.
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iice (f)
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Erhhhh what's the story behind the break up? There must be some sort of problemBTW what are her own credentials?
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Sayoh (f)
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Ps help us understand more by answerin the above questions
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white`Nkem (f)
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I think the girl wasn't prepared for marriage yet and she just freaked out!
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Free (f)
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Need more Info  |
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davidylan (m)
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I think its a very unsensitive guy who ends up getting dumped by some person he dated for 4 years!
When a girl is trying to dump you, the handwriting is there on the wall. Either make an attempt to save the relationship or do the dumping first!
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Busta (f)
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simple, she freaked out.
Or maybe it was the way he popped the question.
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hot-angel (f)
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He can't just give up on her now.
Instead of sitting down looking for someone to cheer him up, he better get up and go find a way to talk some sense into the girl. Isn't it clear that she just freaked out?
There must be some sort of explaination as to why she said no to his proposal. And he can't just sit there looking like a dummy.
If they have dated for four years, i am sure, the girl must have seen that their relationship was going somewhere. So he better go ask her for some explainations before she gets mad and wonder why he just gave up on her.
This is probably her own way of showing how happy she is. Yes some people are just weird like that.
So my advice to your friend, is that he should go and meet that girl. Talk to her. If he has proposed marriage, he should at least know her mom or sisters, so he better go talk to one of them fast, and probably he should go with his own father, or uncle.
And as a friend, i espect that you should have told him all these. I mean he can't just sit there and wonder.
ABi is there something you are not telling us???
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fellow (m)
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i think you brought out the liar in you. How come the guy didn't have any fault??  I honestly think you are trying to sell the guy as a good person inside while the girl. He could be worse you know!!!. So could you tell me what his bad sides are? and why exactly did the girl break up with him?
i hope you know i am expecting answers from you so as to know what to say about the whole issue. I don't judge on a one-party thing, i ave to know the two sides of the story
Just trying to play safe
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marygoldng (f)
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rhea, from your description of this guy he seem too perfect for her, from what i know there is no perfect man.maybe she h ad this feeling of complex that made her feel if she gets married to this wacko she will cheat on him someday.sorry if i used t e wrong words.
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Rhea (m)
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Quite an interesting array of comments from the house. I have been quite close to both parties, and I've followed their relationship keenly since inception, so I can reliably inform the house. Please note that both parties are very good friends of mine. I have never taken sides in this whole issue, and have tried when I can to talk to both of them.
The girl has her own array of qualities:
Good christian family
beautiful
ambitious
young
good prospects for a decent job (about to finish NYSC)
a bit cold to most of the guy's friends (can't say if this is good or bad)
History of the breakup
The guy proposed to the girl a couple of days before christmas. The girl came up with stories of their incompatibility (characterwise). I, as an onlooker has always thought they fit like gloves. People, these guys have been dating for 4 years. The only difference between the two is the absence of a wedding ring, and the fact that they don't live together.
When I spoke th the girl, she seems hell bent on quiting the affair, citing her inability to combine career and marriage as a reason. I spoke to a couple of her fellow girlfriends, who have admitted shocked beyond words at her decision. We've all been lining up for a swell wedding which may never happen.
While the guy is a household name amongst the girl's sibblings and friends, the girl has found it dificult to warm up to the guy's family. Before you draw your conclusion, the girl has turned down thrice before, offers from the guy's sibblings to come over for short weekend stays. Reason: BUSY, OUT OF Town etc.
I hope this clarifies issues a bit for more constructive comments on the topic.
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hot-angel (f)
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Tell your friend to try as much as he can to forget her jare.
I mean the girl did him a favor by telling him fast fast now. Instead of going into a marriage that she knew would fail anyways.
It's sad, but your friend has to move on.
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iice (f)
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LOL did she like only come to that conclusion when he proposed? All the time they were dating, was there no inkling that marriage was not going to be the end result? Communication ooo. . sometimes means little and yet means so much. Just let him take his time to get over it and get on with life. Goodluck to him.
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Macgreat (m)
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 which kind girl be that self,Abi na confussion make am or she no just dey interested in the guy from beging,he just be like that topic "will you date someone you know you can't marry" the real issue here Make the guy take heart for the relationship may be dead/over/finish/ended  Tell the guy make he Take Heart but make he no let the heart fall sha Ooo
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Bhola (f)
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I have not signed on Nairaland for a minute, but I had to for this.
This is what I don't understand. How two grown people, can date for four years and then end up breaking up, because one party said "no" to a marriage proposal. People, people, wake up. Getting married, dating, courtship, it is not just time to look pretty and have sex. It is time to know each other. You don't need to write exams to find out if the girl or guy you are with, will be your better half. It is quite easy. It is called, read slowly, COMMUNICATION, just like IICE pointed out. Really, what do people do when they are dating? What? You don't talk? How will anyone get a NO response on the most important question? That still baffles me. It just shows a lot of people don't have a clue what to do in a relationship.
Ok, to the topic at hand. Tell your friend, to contact me, I have a ton of friends that want to get married. I hope he is in Nigeria. Just kidding. I don't even know what to say. I have always said it and I'll keep saying it, we choose the way we want to live our lifes. I am so sure, 100% sure, I can even bet my six-digit salary on it, that he saw it coming or felt it. People just choose to ignore things.
If she does not want to combine marriage with career, finds it hard to hang around the guys family, does not get along well with the guy's friends. Me think, she is not a wife material. He should cry over it for a sec and move on. There are indeed better people.
I think I need to write a book on relationships. It is getting really sad.
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GNature (m)
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I have not signed on Nairaland for a minute, but I had to for this.
This is what I don't understand. How two grown people, can date for four years and then end up breaking up, because one party said "no" to a marriage proposal. People, people, wake up. Getting married, dating, courtship, it is not just time to look pretty and have sex. It is time to know each other. You don't need to write exams to find out if the girl or guy you are with, will be your better half. It is quite easy. It is called, read slowly, COMMUNICATION, just like IICE pointed out. Really, what do people do when they are dating? What? You don't talk? How will anyone get a NO response on the most important question? That still baffles me. It just shows a lot of people don't have a clue what to do in a relationship.
Ok, to the topic at hand. Tell your friend, to contact me, I have a ton of friends that want to get married. I hope he is in Nigeria. Just kidding. I don't even know what to say. I have always said it and I'll keep saying it, we choose the way we want to live our lifes. I am so sure, 100% sure, I can even bet my six-digit salary on it, that he saw it coming or felt it. People just choose to ignore things.
If she does not want to combine marriage with career, finds it hard to hang around the guys family, does not get along well with the guy's friends. Me think, she is not a wife material. He should cry over it for a sec and move on. There are indeed better people.
I think I need to write a book on relationships. It is getting really sad.
Thanks oo Miss Oprah Winfrey abeg, help me tell demm oo. You have said it all  |
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ikamefa (f)
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@topic the deed has been done the jilted guy should cry/ let all the hurt out, pick himself up, and keep it moving life is too short !  |
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Macgreat (m)
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True! life goes on,short but enough to be happy all time.what happen is what makes it life and the things you do to solve whatever issue.
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Bhola (f)
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Thanks oo Miss Oprah Winfrey abeg, help me tell demm oo. You have said it all Thanks, Gnature. Not seen you here in a long time, but I have not been here too. Just telling it the way it is, no need to sugar coat it. Time people realize that their happiness is determined by them and them alone. |
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GNature (m)
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Thanks, Gnature. Not seen you here in a long time, but I have not been here too. My sister, nice hearing from you. Happy new year  I pop in every now and then. I was really busy at work at some point. Please don't be a stranger oo, your intelligence & wisdom is much appreciated here Just telling it the way it is, no need to sugar coat it. Time people realize that their happiness is determined by them and them alone.
More kudos to you my sister !!! |
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BlackMamba (m)
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How about the simple fact that this girl don't like your big-shot friend for keeps.
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mubowa (f)
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anybody can get dumped and to prove that, u are now a victim. check your self out
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katherinae (f)
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she's cheating and is in love with the guys she is cheating with (sorry) but that's the cold truth
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Rhea (m)
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People,
I know a lot of you did not see this coming. The latest from this broken relationship is that the girl may have realised she made a mistake, thus could be making moves for a comeback. However, the guy is now playing hard ball.
He's actuallybeen heard saying that he isn't ready for another relationship just yet (probably trying to heal the scars of the last one). His answer to his ex's comeback plea has been a resilient and unflinching NO.
Is this guy heartless or did the girl get what she deserved?
More comments anticipated.
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ikamefa (f)
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hehehe! na today! both of them na ogbanje them be! they're here on earth to torment each other! |
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bunmii (f)
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is he cute she wasn't ready for marriage she didn't love you enough and she completely freak out |
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iice (f)
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People,
I know a lot of you did not see this coming. The latest from this broken relationship is that the girl may have realised she made a mistake, thus could be making moves for a comeback. However, the guy is now playing hard ball.
He's actuallybeen heard saying that he isn't ready for another relationship just yet (probably trying to heal the scars of the last one). His answer to his ex's comeback plea has been a resilient and unflinching NO.
Is this guy heartless or did the girl get what she deserved?
More comments anticipated.
Actually i expected that! Its the usual tory. Where are the gals who stick to their guns? Actually i think he wasn't heartless. They have broken up, he's not willing to go back to her, that is his right regardless of how we feel or don't feel. |
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Ezinwannem
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I hope u know that there r thousands of men out there is gat more than you do with all them good things u mentioned above, call her ans ask her wetin be da problem
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