How Can I Make My Man Happy?

uh stop being cruel then?

or maybe he has a thing for "cruel and stubborn" women. 

Err--unlikely . Babeheart--he might just be putting up with the behavior for the short term because he's an optimist. It's good that you realize you have a problem with this issue, and you should try to work on with your guy. He does sound a little spineless himself though--he shouldn't be apologizing if you're the one acting out. You probably need to talk to him about all this, if you like him that much and you want things to go further. Just have the conversation now about how you feel--saves a lot of future hassle  .

Indeed.

maybe even try to overdo yourself; give him a surprise, try to be more calm, be sweet with him all the time, avoid arguments etc.
come on, you'r a woman, you gotta feel your man! who can better tell what makes him happy than his bride-to-be?

the fact is i love him, but sometimes i have the feelings as i can not get the real meaning of marriage and what makes a guy to feel he want to marry etc. i think maybe lots of my negative feelings is the cause , aren't it?

Try reduce doing things he don't like u doing and always think properly before u utter any word.because some words might have being uttered and before u realise it as being uttered,the damage has being done.so try to be calm.

1. The guy must have extra ordinary patience and is long suffering. I have met guys like that.
2. His sweet reaction to your attitude will not continue forever! He wont be sweet when you insult him in the presence of his kid for instance.
3. How about you thank God you have such an understanding chap and try and change your attitude?

4. He appologizes when you offend him? Not unheard off, i once had that experience with someone else i dated and i completely disagree with teracotta that it is a sign of spinelessness. It is not, you just can't help it if you love the person that much and are willing to overlook several things she does.

5. One day that long rope of patience will snap! He will find someone else who treats him the way he likes and he will dump you! I have experienced that too!

Hmm.

David--you're free to disagree with anything I say, as long you realize that this position


is incompatible with this this position


Forgiving minor flaws because of "love" and tolerating repetitive abuse like Babe-Heart's man are not the same thing. The reason someone won't tolerate disrespect in front of their kids and will quickly reach the end of their "rope of patience" is precisely because they have enough willpower to end the nonsense with a dead-end relationship. Well-adjusted people don't stick around waiting for some Hollywood happy ending in the kind of relationship that the poster's talking about. Reading her words, you can see how disturbed she is about her own behavior and how openly she recognizes her faults and flaws. Yet her slow-witted boyfriend is apologizing for her own bad behavior towards him. Doesn't sound like someone with much self-respect to me. That's the height of spinelessness and victimhood any way you look at it, and a stronger person would have already, in your own words, found "someone else who treats him the way he likes". 


I agree, but at least she realizes she has a problem. She seems like she still has enough time to fix things, which is a luxury most people in her situation don't have. You're right about figuring out what the poster was saying though--let's chalk it up to how emotional she must be feeling about the whole thing

No. Bloody liars, every last one of them

and I don't know why you're apologizing to someone who can't even write one sentence without abbrevations.

save the apologies for your guy. 

Honey_pot--You sound like you've hand-delivered that pink slip/letter of termination one or two times in the past. 

I think Babe_Heart is really sincere about wanting to change though. I hope it all works out for her.

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I agree with u, but such sincerity is suspect. She is a perfect example of 21st century girls who expect guys to love, marry them with their flaws and never require them to change. I'm happy babe-heart has identified and acknowledged her 'sins', but my worry is that she lacks the needed remorse/right attitude to effect a positive change.

I don't hesitate in handing out those letters and won't even strike the deal if i see any tell tale sign of a contentious spouse 'cause i detest nagging strongly. I advice babe-heart to change immediately before her boisterous nature sinks her already troubled rship boat.

babe-heart
don't crucify your self or allow anyone to .start appriciating your self because i think it's lack of selfworth
that makes u say harsh words to this your guy."do u somtimes feel u don't nid him or u're not worthy of him?"
u already feel he won't kip to his promise of lovin an' not leavin u,so u want to kip him at a distance frm seeing
hw vulnerable u're to his love, u kip him frm your core, the jelly-like u that wants him always to  cuddle u,love u,protect u
adore u?
if am wrong tell me and i'll delete my input, but if am right
u can solve this by OPENING UR MOUTH TO APprici8 him say things like "nice hair cut,nice shoe,u look kinky "stuff like that
then u can graduate to 2 HONEY I MISS U, bla blabla
once u give love u'll feel more relax and less internally agitate and rage ll cease
TRY AN' WORK IT OUT because UR TIME IS RUNNING OUT!!!1