Can Your Parents Choose Your Spouse for You?

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Author Topic: Can Your Parents Choose Your Spouse for You?  (Read 1753 views)
obum (f)
Can Your Parents Choose Your Spouse for You?
« on: December 14, 2005, 01:41 PM »

Can your father or mother chose your spouse for you?  If they bring someone to you and tell you that's the person they want you to spend your whole life with/marry will you do it or agree to that?  What will you do?
FOD (m)
Re: Can Your Parents Choose Your Spouse for You?
« #1 on: December 15, 2005, 05:22 PM »

If I'm not committed/engaged and the lady has the qualities I want and she consents to it, why not?

I am saying they can choose, but not force me.
buckeye (m)
Re: Can Your Parents Choose Your Spouse for You?
« #2 on: December 15, 2005, 06:09 PM »

Yes, ,if shes the same girl i have been wanting to date Wink
Seun (m)
Re: Can Your Parents Choose Your Spouse for You?
« #3 on: December 15, 2005, 08:45 PM »

I read this story about a man who was courting a young Nigerian woman.  So one day his father called him and he said "I have found the woman I want you to marry".  Turns out it was the same girl he was courting, so he said, "well Daddy, you know what? I guess I have to respect your decision!"  So they got married and the father was so happy about his son's "obedience".  They didn't tell anyone the true story about how they met until after the old man had passed on!

So, if my parents choose a girl for me, I'll date her.  I am very lazy when it comes to dating, so if my parents wish to bring a girl to me on a platter of gold, that will be very lovely.  If I don't like her, I'll return her to my parents and tell them to go and look for another one.  This is called dating without stressCheesy   However, by now my parents know better than to expect me to marry a girl I don't like just because they say so.  It just can't happen.
Greatpeter (m)
Re: Can Your Parents Choose Your Spouse for You?
« #4 on: December 15, 2005, 08:49 PM »

Never! I will never allow my parents to choose for me because I will be the one to live with her so I should know what I like and what suits me.

Who wears the shoes know where it pinches.
obum (f)
Re: Can Your Parents Choose Your Spouse for You?
« #5 on: December 16, 2005, 03:10 PM »

Well Seun that sounds very very funny to me, u mean u will sit down and expect your Dad/Mum to bring a lady to u for marriage hhhhhmn. NAWA FOR You OH   
kewe (f)
Re: Can Your Parents Choose Your Spouse for You?
« #6 on: December 16, 2005, 07:56 PM »

no way
omogenaija (f)
Re: Can Your Parents Choose Your Spouse for You?
« #7 on: December 16, 2005, 10:05 PM »

HELL NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM NOT A IYAWO SARA
nicetohave (m)
Re: Can Your Parents Choose Your Spouse for You?
« #8 on: December 16, 2005, 10:06 PM »

If in good faith, why not? I am no sissy but if in good faith, id accept
ocho (f)
Re: Can Your Parents Choose Your Spouse for You?
« #9 on: December 17, 2005, 12:01 AM »

hmm, my parents choose my spouse for me? I don't even know how i feel about that right now but i'd definately rather choose him myself.
@ seun: you daddy/mummy's boy!!! Grin
@omoge02863: what is an iyawo sara?  Cheesy Cheesy
nicetohave (m)
Re: Can Your Parents Choose Your Spouse for You?
« #10 on: December 17, 2005, 12:36 AM »

gift wife  Grin
otokx (m)
Re: Can Your Parents Choose Your Spouse for You?
« #11 on: December 17, 2005, 09:02 AM »

am down with FOD and SEUN's opinion
larger_20 (m)
Re: Can Your Parents Choose Your Spouse for You?
« #12 on: December 18, 2005, 03:03 AM »

Hell NO..my parents are not my type simple..they will find their type..for me
hot-angel (f)
Re: Can Your Parents Choose Your Spouse for You?
« #13 on: December 18, 2005, 07:14 AM »

If i have mental Problem, YES they can choose for me.

If they are jobless and they think choosing a man for me is their new job -- They must be dreaming.

In short, NO they can't. Them chop winch?  Huh
nicetohave (m)
Re: Can Your Parents Choose Your Spouse for You?
« #14 on: December 18, 2005, 11:27 AM »

When we say chosing, we are not saying "compelling" here o, in one way or the other friends, peers etc, have played a role in who we date/marry; and in some cases gone as far as impressing the person on us, so why not "our" parents, or is it because we think they are "outdated"?
Scorpio (f)
Re: Can Your Parents Choose Your Spouse for You?
« #15 on: December 18, 2005, 06:10 PM »

nah, my parents can't choose noone for me to get married to.. I'm too stubborn for that kind of stuff.
ocho (f)
Re: Can Your Parents Choose Your Spouse for You?
« #16 on: December 18, 2005, 08:09 PM »

why dosen't that suprise me  Roll Eyes
just kidding girl!! Cheesy Grin
sorry for going off topic people.
Oracle (m)
Re: Can Your Parents Choose Your Spouse for You?
« #17 on: December 18, 2005, 11:23 PM »

NO NO NO
Itz like u can't choose a wife for yourself
or your not man enough
hell no
uv gotta get a wife for yourself or there's no wife


* marriage.jpg (38.25 KB, 300x225 )
lioness (f)
Re: Can Your Parents Choose Your Spouse for You?
« #18 on: December 19, 2005, 09:56 AM »

Choose for me,  Grin Grin Grin Grin  my folks are even more confused than i am with picking a man.
Except they pick like a whole lot of them and I'll choose one
nicetohave (m)
Re: Can Your Parents Choose Your Spouse for You?
« #19 on: December 19, 2005, 12:57 PM »

thats a good start, like "a Mr Universe contest?"  Cheesy
obum (f)
Re: Can Your Parents Choose Your Spouse for You?
« #20 on: December 19, 2005, 01:22 PM »

hello nicetohave here we i am simply saying compelling u too, because most parents want to choose and pinpoint who u should date and marry too, so they re also COMPELLING You TO. 
lioness (f)
Re: Can Your Parents Choose Your Spouse for You?
« #21 on: December 19, 2005, 02:15 PM »

exactly  Grin Grin Grin

Quote
[ thats a good start, like "a Mr Universe contest?" /quote]
Scorpio (f)
Re: Can Your Parents Choose Your Spouse for You?
« #22 on: December 19, 2005, 02:38 PM »

Quote from: ocho on December 18, 2005, 08:09 PM
why dosen't that suprise me Roll Eyes
if i catch u ehn Grin anywayz it's d truth, my mom will prolly be like''she's been so nice for a long time now, i don't want any quarrels'' because lawd knows i'll bring it to them.
ozi (f)
Re: Can Your Parents Choose Your Spouse for You?
« #23 on: December 19, 2005, 05:15 PM »

yes, i can.

i respect my mama enough to trust her judgement.
DE-KING (m)
Re: Can Your Parents Choose Your Spouse for You?
« #24 on: December 19, 2005, 05:18 PM »

We are talking about choosing which also means someone who would live with you for the rest of your life. Of course I wouldn't accept that because it's my life to live and I have to exercise the right to choose that God has given to me.
nicetohave (m)
Re: Can Your Parents Choose Your Spouse for You?
« #25 on: December 19, 2005, 07:45 PM »

thank you Ozi, me too (after some bluffing though  Grin )
IAH (f)
Re: Can Your Parents Choose Your Spouse for You?
« #26 on: December 19, 2005, 07:50 PM »

I will call the "chosen guy" and ask him if he's not even ashamed of himself to be chosen for somebody as if they are choosing Ileya Ram in the market. Angry
nicetohave (m)
Re: Can Your Parents Choose Your Spouse for You?
« #27 on: December 19, 2005, 07:56 PM »

that wont be nice, instead of doing that why not give him a chance to prove his mettle....all your parents have done is an "introduction", not force you to marry him.
mide2 (f)
Re: Can Your Parents Choose Your Spouse for You?
« #28 on: December 20, 2005, 03:11 AM »

My mom will probably choose a churchy, straight A, non-fashionable, family/church friend's son which is definitely not my type. But my Dad... i guess i'll like his choice because he loves good things but i'm sure NTA, BBC and CNN will all know how the guy came about.lol So NO.i won't allow them choose 4 me. !
lioness (f)
Re: Can Your Parents Choose Your Spouse for You?
« #29 on: December 20, 2005, 09:20 AM »

 Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin

Quote
[I will call the "chosen guy" and ask him if he's not even ashamed of himself to be chosen for somebody as if they are choosing Ileya Ram in the market./quote]
obum (f)
Re: Can Your Parents Choose Your Spouse for You?
« #30 on: December 20, 2005, 01:09 PM »

Ozi of course all of us respects our jugdement to trust her but not to choose your life partner for u for heavens sake, chose out of the many that come around and take them to your parents.
ozi (f)
Re: Can Your Parents Choose Your Spouse for You?
« #31 on: December 20, 2005, 01:43 PM »

Hiya obum and de-king,

if my mum chooses for me, I won't just marry the him without getting to know him first.

it's just that i will keep an open mind, and not just reject her choice without meeting the person.

u see the older i get the more i realise that parents will only have the best intentions for their kids.

they have had a lot of experiences, and will look out for things that a lot if youths think is insignificant.

they are more culturally and in some cases spiritually aware.

im sure a lot of us that are over 20, look back and remember times when we didn't agree with somethings we were told.

but now we realise with age and more wisdom that they were right.

see it's not like if u should just marry anyone they suggest, but you can at least give it a chance before saying no.

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