19 Signs That You've Landed in Nigeria

1) When on leaving the Airport, you start feeling hot air instead of the cool chilly winter weather. Don't be surprised if people by your side smell of sweat.Na so Nigeria weather be.

2) When Mamma Nkechi invites you to eat at her shed next to the dustbin. Don't vex. It's Nigeria for you.

3) When you see people outside watching football in front of the pharmacist shop and everyone in the neighbourhood shouts "it's a goal" or "up Nepa". You would know sey na Lagos proper you de.

4) When your nna bros or yoruba bros yan you in pidgin and you hear the slogan" long time no see" instead of watz up or how's it going?". Those are the signs ok.

5) When "Agbaro" area boy stop your bus for money, you would know sey you are inside molue/danfo and not DC metro.

6) When your danfo bus driver tresspass"black light" instead of "traffic light" and no police/anyone stops him.

7) When you see a fine girl and everyone says"hey, fine sister or fine girl "instead of excuse me baby, Have I met you before?Na Lagos boys for you.

When you look around and it is Mr Biggs or Tantalizer that is smiling at you instead of Wendy's or Pizza hut.

9) When you see "harboki" mallam sleeping in front of your gate insead of a "computerised security alarm".

10) When you hear the word" boyz night out " or " ladies night out " instead of outing.

11) When mamma Agege comes in front of your house each morning asking you to buy "Agege bread" instead of you buying Baggles or waffles.

12)When you want to move out of your street and you are told that "Owambe party" de block the street. No vex o, na Lagos for you.

13) When you climb "Okada" motorcycle without any crash helmet and nobody stops you to ask you for it.

14) When you see "roasted corn and pear or suya" being roasted by the gutter. No think say you go have stomach ache. It's as healty as barbecue chicken and hotdog.

15) When policeman stops you and you give him five naira(#5) and he tells you to go. No scratch your head and think twice. Na so Lagos police men de do.

16) When you see your watch being stolen before your very eyes. You would know sey na Balogun market u de and not Hetchs or Jcpenny.

17) When you hear "Omoalata" screaming "Purewater or #10 kobo ice water". No get shock. It's what Lagos big guys drink.

18) When you wear a shirt from yankee and all your friends tell you" Omo, you baff up" or when you wear a slippers from yankee and all your friends tell you "Aba made".It's not a sign of jealousy o , it's a sign that's u have arrived.

19) When you are told to "Shine your eyes".  Then you would know say khaki no be leather.

No vex, if any of this happen to you, shebi na Nigeria you want go do your Xmas?  Cheers, Nigeria is a fun place to be!

When your wristwatch staged a disappearing act.

hahaha

i'm gon choose tantalizer and Mr.Biggs over pizza hut and Mcdonalds. naija is da best place to be!!!

to set up a branch of tantalizers and Mr. Biggs 

There is no place like home

thatz one good sign! thoze guys are gettin wayyyy advance!! from 5 to 20! no sweat!!

se na your name be damy? brother sofo!!! if i remember correctly her question was addressed to damygurl!!

@hotspice I came to US to come and eat bugger!

yea and the name fits u well well!!

small small o brotha gbefila!! u not in nigeria yet! go back to sleep. i'm gon wake u when we get there don't worry!

i said go back to sleep! no shaking i got u!

sharity? which one be that o?

1 stupid Nigeria joke like that. her name was charity...she gt on d bus...it gt to 'charity' a bus stop in lagos or smthin(if it does exist)...d conductor was like 'sharity sharity come down' and d stupid girl (or wotever) came down..she hadnt even gt to her stop yet!
i dnt think it makes much sense. i jst happened to remember it!!!!!!!

  I pass, i reach my bus stop already

serious? no selling out?  not that i don't trust you o, its just that ehm, that iraq talk thats all 

change is the only constant in life