Is It Good For Wives To Call Their Husbands By Their Names ?

What are the supposed to call their husbands I'm so lost on this one

I would like to think that after all the expenses our parents must have incurred on our education and enlightenment, we should know by now that respect should be mutual.

So if for any reason the woman must call her husband papa John, then the man should call his wife Mama John.

what should i call him? is that not his name? 

calling your husband by his name is not  a form  of disrespect at all.  must u call him baba so & so to prove your respect to him. i tire for this nigerian thin o -abeg this is 2007 o!

very funny lafile.
I call mine "baby" and I think he likes it.
I call him by name also.
There is no "African rule" to these things,whatever feels good.

Soulpatrol, there is nothing like boredom here. This particular topic once generated what i would call 'heated debate' sometimes ago. You may not really understand its import. But any core african woman would not want to call the husband by name save for western influence these days

wetin u want make she call am? Goat?

soulpatrol, This is the damn culture where I live. Although those who are "exposed" are trying to stop it by embracing the western style, this habit still holds sway. Don't u think they should be allowed to practice their culture?

McDoe, it's not the "damn" culture neither is it a Nigerian culture. It's just another way men try to make women subservient. There are very old traditional couples who call themselves by their first names and there are others who use  e (to signify respect) for their wives. What works for you is what you should adopt. I don't want to believe you posted this just to strengthen what you believe.

In trying to keep the idea of not calling husbands by name some have mixed up the role of father and husband; if he's your "daddy" then its okay for his words to be law and it's okay for him to be the only one who can check 'junior' when he misbehaves, if he's your husband then you do have a say.

If you insist that it's a Nigerian culture from your side of the divide, culture changes with the people. In yesteryears men brought home every naira and kobo needed for the home, today; they may not survive of she's not working. Culture is never static except in our imagination.

McDoe, what did she call you during the courtship days? Why has whatever she called you at the very initial stage of the love affair become inappropriate?

The reason we have more broken homes and fewer weddings is because men usually try to change the contract as soon as women ratify their status; I say ratify because you don't acquire the status of husband until a woman signs or approves of it. We build love on friendship but we strain love by trying to convert the contract into boss - surbordinate office relationship.

If you want to keep your woman and gain more than just respect, honor her by giving her the measure of respect you want and keep the friendship alive.

Isn't that the name his parents gave him?

j-girl, If there is something I avoid mostly, it is joining issues with a lady especially when I know the mindset as it relates to a subject for discussion. But let me reiterate that even if we are equal, men are more equal. The very day we swallowed that unwarranted call for gender equality by women, the world will crumble. You better know this

Designplus, do you have a female boss or an elder sister? Does she have to respect you because you are a man by design or by accident? When a man says respect me because I am a man, he is simply saying despite my inadequacies I demand respect; Every human who adequately takes care of her/his responsibilities and is respectful wouldn't have to demand for respect; it is earned! Earning respect begins with such flimsy things like calling your woman what you wish to be called.

j-girl & Nite Angel, From the way both of u sound, it is clear that you are some of the women rights activists. But you should undersand that, God has given man dominion over all creations including woman. This so-called fight for equality is unreligious, illogical, baseless and criminal. A woman who is a helper cannot claim to equal the man. For instance, countries like Britain, Germany, Indonesia etc which have promoted this rights to the extreme by making women their leaders have not been able to rise up from the consequences such moves had earned them. Their economies have continued to nose-dive. Please we should understand the role of man and give him all the respect. Man is not that greedy; he knows also the kind of respect he can give to his helper, i.e, the woman.