Nigerian Men & African-American Women

everybody  deserve to believe in whoever they choose to.your religion  and your GOD or whoever you serve  is in your mind.i ve mine you ve yours,so let respect each others believe .and beside  let stay on the real subject rather going into something else .

you can clearly tell somebody's intelligence by the way that person generalizes. Anybody who judges an entire people just because of an experience he/she have had with few is not very intelligent. Anywonder why the above poster is not happy in her marriage. By her generalization you can already see how intelligent she is.

Anyway for the person who started this thread, this is my advice for you.
Don't judge your guy based on what people say about Nigerians. Everybody is unique, the individual uniqueness is greater than cultural or national behaviour.

I personally, am married to an African American. We have been married for over 7 years now and she has given me two beautiful children. This woman is not just good, she is an angel. I thank God everyday that I went ahead and married her despite warnings from my Nigerian friends who told me bad things about African American. I have never cheated on her and I will never.

I love my wife dearly and I think that she even loves me more. She gets along very well with my brothers and sisters despite all the rubbish that African Americans don't accommodate their husbands family.

The truth is that two honest people, who genuinely love each other, and genuinely wants to be married will succeed no matter what. Love conquers all. Even if one is from mars and the other from Jupiter.

Life has taught me that in marriage, you should worry more about your self-- Are you truly in love? Are you truly honest with this man? Are you doing the right things? If you are then don't worry so much about taken advantage of. Afterall everything in life is just risk taking. Just do the right thing and take the necessary precaution that you should always take when dealing with people. Often people who get taken advantage of, have questionable motives themselves. Make sure that you are completely honest with him. Make sure that the worst he can do is break your heart. Getting heart broken is a risk that you have to take if you want to love. Don't get into any kind of murky business with him. Just be straight and honest.

Do your best to understand this man, don't just look at him as a Nigerian. Look at him as a unique individual. If you find out that he truly loves you, then go ahead if you love him too. If not just forget it. Only you know this man, nobody on this site know him, and how do you expect to get good advice from the people who don't even know the man in question. It will be unfair for you to judge him based what people who don't even know him say.

Those who tell you that you should not compromise in any relationship are dead wrong! In life you have to compromise, you have to let go of certain things in other to accept new things. This is growth. The question is, what are you compromising? Make sure that it is not something that you cannot live without.

But don't get carried away. If he is bad and you don't think that it will work, just end the relationship.

@vostel and chinani
As much as I am impressed of your intelligent and articulate inputs, I have this to say to you: Try not to argue with ignorant people because it will get you nowhere.

@all please lets respect other people's cultures. Cut down on the cultural and racial insults.

love your input seeklove .i just made the same suggestion two to three postings before yours.when will people start seeing others as an individual of his/her own character.Apparently , most people in the western world still ve an enclosed mind .i wonder when people will start thinking outside the box.you sound a little older than me do love to have some advice from you personally if that is okay with you ,email me at  ayodeji_balogun@yahoo.com that way we could exchange numbers.like i said if that is okay with you, hopefully one day people will have a diverse mind setting on this topic .

This is what I have been saying, there are already enought African women chasing Naija men, AA's hsould marry their people and leave us the hell alone. They are not aculutured like our African women and their sense of western style marriages is a hinderance to a what one would defines as a 'successful' marriage.

you get what you pay for.

Seeklove, I am happy that you have found a wonderful Black American woman.   I hope that you will always be true to her and love  her dearly.   

Unfortunately, not all of your Nigerian brethern are so kind.     Your people need to face the truth about your culture.   So many aspects of the  Nigerian culture,  the lying, the deceit, the adultery, the polygamy, the misogyny, the abusive and authoritative ways you people raise your children,  are in need of serious reform.  Nigeria, should be one of the greastest nations in Africa and indeed in all the world,  but the corrupt nature of the government, which trickles down to the people,  is a barrier to any serious progress in that country.

The men are the problem.  They all have grandiose ideations about their stations and abilities in life.  They are incapable of having care and concern for others.  They  disrespect and objectify women and disregard and abuse children.   The men lie, they deceive and disrespect each other and they cheat and cheat and cheat on their women. 

African-Americans deal much better with our "dirty laundry".  Our people speak out about  the problems with our men, our teenagers, our children.  We are not afraid to criticize our culture as a way to improve and better our lot in America and indeed we have, look at our current President and first lady. 

Nigeria will forever remain  hell on earth,  because of its immoral,  demonized, corrupt and deceitful men!!!

They told me that the they were told that their neighboring village chief purchased fire sticks i.e., guns from the European traders.  The European traders wanted people
for guns - guns the village chief now needed because he now needed to arm himself with the new technology his neighboring village chiefs were in possession of.
So, the chief agreed to the Europeans terms.  He would raid neighboring villages where the people lived as non slave free people.  Once the warriors invaded
these unsuspecting villagers, they captured these free people and traded them to the European for arms.  These free people were taken to holding castles
to fill the bowels of ships destined to the new world.  Once these free Africans reached their destination, they were no longer free but classified as
slaves by those their own people traded them to - their masters.
So the ancestors say get your story and classification more accurately stated.  They say they were not slaves in their own villages - they were FREE.
They say you can't see the wickedness your own Nigerian ancestor enacted on even their own free citizens just for trinkets, beads, drink, mirrors, and cloth.
Your and my ancestors were falsely accused of breaking laws, taboos, just be be traded off.  Now, how nationalistic is that?  The ancestors say they loved
their families; they too loved being Nigerian and they loved their freedom.  To say that they were slaves traded to Europeans is a misnomer. 
It leaves the listener to believe that those free people were accustomed to a life of humiliation, castigation, dehumanization, torture, abuse, terrorism,
breeding, raping and such.  They say they were free and were initially sold out by their own Nigerian people and later kidnapped by Europeans who at first
respected Nigerians but seeing how they had no regard for the suffering they'd put their own people through for trinkets, those Europeans loss the respect
and esteem he held the Nigerian.  And, now some would spew insults at their own ancestor's descendants who are still healing from the horrible experience
greed and narcissism put them through.  So, go ahead and hurl your insults; but those ancestors - those Nigerian ancestors hear you,   
They say a mere 400+ can not easily erase genetic memory of thousands of years of tradition.  They say you all can see them in us but that you are
guilty for selling them away and never attempting to bring them back.  But they say that they commend those Nigerian descendants that can
empathize, educated themselves of what happened to their loved ones once they left Nigeria.  They are proud of those Nigerians of recent times
who provide language and custom classes to the African American who they have awakened and now thirst for their people.  They are patient with
us but both the African and African of the Diaspora will correct the damage colonization did.  There will be peace amongst us and when it is
achieved, just like the Jews of the Bible who too were free, enslaved, freed, worked out their differences then unified for the economic security
of their people, so it will be between us.  So go ahead a insult us; but those of us who really know the truth only see not the intelligence therein lies
in you but how you must step on another to elevate yourself.  Its OK.  We love you not matter what your little big mind can come up with.  Unity is
closer than you think    Odabo, Bye, adios, Ciao,