|
MrLoverMAn
|
very Interesting thread  |
|
|
|
|
|
jessilina (f)
|
@Vostel,chinani and emeka,
take a deep breath, breathe out slowly and settle down. Tempers seem to flair when the truth is unearthed about the "african" but who cares, get over it!!!!! Learn from your ignorances so the spread of aids does not continue. Not only are the africans ignorant and in denial about the aids epidemic but also they refuse to have their children immunized against polio and other childhood diseases, thus contracting the virus and putting the american children at risk when they come to this country to also contract it. Come on now vostel, really, who's the oafish one? I can answer that one for you. I want you to take a little test for me. Point your figure at the message and then see how many figures point back at you. See, now you have your answer.
P.s~~~ i, as an educator and psychotherapist am in no way trying to belittle anyones culture for we are all a part of this eco system and must learn from eachother. Each culture, society or ethnic group compliments the other wheather we want to admit it or not. I myself have no ill will for the african men nor women. But the ignorance is intolerable!!!!
Well time for work,and not a security job either!!!!lol
jessilina
|
|
|
|
|
|
chinani (f)
|
 Shocked Dumbfounded Jessilina, I don't know where you're coming from. I thought you were a serious lady. . .  So African children are giving American children polio? So Africans purposely deprive their children of vaccines, incl. polio? TAKE A DEEP BREATH, BREATHE OUT SLOWLY AND SETTLE DOWN. Hmm, aren't you biting my style here? Get your own material. . . TEMPERS SEEM TO FLAIR WHEN THE TRUTH IS UNEARTHED ABOUT THE "AFRICAN" BUT WHO CARES, GET OVER IT!!!!! You're ignorant & asinine. I see the slave masters did their job. LEARN FROM YOUR IGNORANCES SO THE SPREAD OF AIDS DOES NOT CONTINUE. We (Africans) are learning thank you. We are not too proud to learn. We are not too proud for discourse. We are not too proud for self critiques? And you? . . . Most news AIDS patients are heterosexual, black women, go get tested. Go borrow some humility.NOT ONLY ARE THE AFRICANS IGNORANT AND IN DENIAL ABOUT THE AIDS EPIDEMIC BUT ALSO THEY REFUSE TO HAVE THEIR CHILDREN IMMUNIZED AGAINST POLIO AND OTHER CHILDHOOD DISEASES, You should be ashamed for suggesting that Africans intentionally neglect their child's health. You must be very ignorant indeed. Furthermore there is a movement in this country (USA) to reexamine the use of widespread vaccines, namely by parents of Autistic youth. Are these parents as "ignorant and in denial" or are they immune from this characterization b/c of their American birth? THUS CONTRACTING THE VIRUS AND PUTTING THE AMERICAN CHILDREN AT RISK WHEN THEY COME TO THIS COUNTRY TO ALSO CONTRACT IT. Are American parents who do the same also putting "American children at risk"? COME ON NOW VOSTEL, REALLY, WHO'S THE OAFISH ONE? I CAN ANSWER THAT ONE FOR YOU. You. I don't know either of you personally but as I pointed out the lady stated in initially that she every country has reprehensible practices. She then used America as an example! I WANT YOU TO TAKE A LITTLE TEST FOR ME. POINT YOUR FIGURE AT THE MESSAGE AND THEN SEE HOW MANY FIGURES POINT BACK AT YOU. SEE, NOW YOU HAVE YOUR ANSWER. You are reading the messages on this board & miscontruing the intent & meaning. As a writer of said messages I'll say that the intent/meaning was not to "point fingers" rather to provide a context or comparison between two places. As I've said before, it is not America vs. Nigeria, only a discussion about two places & two prevailing cultures. As Emeka asked, if we are so bad, why are you HERE?I, AS AN EDUCATOR AND PSYCHOTHERAPIST AM IN NO WAY TRYING TO BELITTLE ANYONES CULTURE FOR WE ARE ALL A PART OF THIS ECO SYSTEM AND MUST LEARN FROM EACHOTHER. If you were not trying to "belittle" then you should have written the above statements. The best educators are students not those who believe they know everything. Abeg, who do you educate? (I'm serious on this one.) The state of our American education system is in serious disrepair is an "educator" and "psychotherapist" has such racism in his/her mind & brain. That you can not discern the various viewpoints I & others are trying to make is very sad indeed. Are you a licensed psychotherapist? Did you get your degree online? Again, I'm serious. I know that counselors/therapists are routinely and/or initially evaluated by other therapists/counselors to (a)make sure they're doing their jobs & (b) to make sure their mental health is ok. You might want to show this message to one of them. Seriously, there's no shame in seeking help. Often "caregivers" need more tlc b/c they're so busy all the time. Some people are going to read this & think I'm joking. I'm not EACH CULTURE, SOCIETY OR ETHNIC GROUP COMPLIMENTS THE OTHER WHEATHER WE WANT TO ADMIT IT OR NOT. This point has already been made on this thread by several people & your above statements contradict this. I MYSELF HAVE NO ILL WILL FOR THE AFRICAN MEN NOR WOMEN. Your post contradicts this statement. BUT THE IGNORANCE IS INTOLERABLE!!!! So we agree? WELL TIME FOR WORK,AND NOT A SECURITY JOB EITHER!!!! I'm very curiousdo you actually have African patients? Do you talk down to them like you did EthioAngel or just laugh at their African ignorance after the check clears? Jessilina, I am not trying to be rude to you. If you are a sincere person you might want to reread your last post & try to understand how it can be viewed in a racist light. Maybe pass it off to a colleague and tell them that a white person said it & see the coworkers reaction. I can tell you that if a white person said what you said, they'd be a racist & you very much sound like a racist. I don't know you though. I'm trying to give you the benefit of the doubt b/c I think you're feelings were hurt but what you just wrote is (a)not ok, (b)racist, & (c)not an accurate characterization of Africans. As a stated before when people start making categorical monolithic statements about Africa & Africans they are wallowing in their own ignorance. Lift yourself up. Lift yourself up. Lift yourself up. |
|
|
|
|
|
EthioAngel (f)
|
Emeka83, WOW!
I agree with the part that it's easier to have a relationship with your own kind because of all the things you mentioned and more. But the world doesnt always work that way anymore, Especially out here in the Western World! I mean, were I in my own country I would have never had the time nor the energy nor the will to try to mix with another race, it would have never crossed my mind. But now, being subjected to a multicultural society, IM OBLIGED.
I do believe a lot is being said here about Naija's that are/might sound offending, these are personal opinions. I don't agree with the ones that try to generalize and speak for all, there is no such thing!
But for you to be generalizing that all Naija men that ever treat a woman wrong as an offence, is absolutely wrong.
Naija or not, , men seriously have flaws in the dating department. The way you put it is that all Naija come from a well developed family and all have been raised with perfect standards, there is no such thing as a perfect family,, thats why it takes two minds to make the best of it.
I see a lot of Nigerian men mingle with Non-Nigerians, have great relationships and succeed in life. And another fact, The well-accomplished Nigerian men abroad choose non-nigerians, can you tell me why? If what your saying is true???
Peace!
|
|
|
|
|
|
kem (f)
|
The hatred going on here is too strong for me not to comment.
First of, kudos to Vostel for trying to be the voice of reason.
To all the AA's on here, if nigerians are that bad, WTF are you doing on a nigerian board complaining? If we are as bad as you potray us, leave us the F alone and move on.
@ Jessilina, the ignorance that you have displayed here is ridiculous. So you think africans DEPRIVE their kids of vaxinations? WTF. Do you realise how few hospitals are availabel in some areas? Do you know just how how poor these people are? Do you realize that in rural areas some people would have to walk miles just to get to drinking water let alone a freakin hospital?
Also, just like Europe is comprised of many countries, so is Africa. For someone who has a lot of crap to say you sure are ignorant, yeah i said it, IGNORANT
To the AAs on here spouting off, where the hell do you think you think your ancestors came from?
And bottomline, if the guy you are dating, whether he is black, white, asian, hispanic, african, alien or whatever, leave his ass if he aint treating you right. Its not freakin brain surgery. If you continue to stay with someone that abuses you etc, then thats your own problem; quit blaming your dumb ass decisions on other races.
I could go on and on about how the AA guy I dated (I'm nigerian) would talk about how I was so different from AA girls and it was refreshing to date someone who didn't have kids, whose father was non-existant or in jail, whose mother wasnt on crack etc, but what would be the point of that?
Bottomline, be smart about who you deal with.
Lastly, I lived in Ethiopia for 10 years and Ive seen first hand how a large % of ethiopians feel about other darker africans. Being called a slave by someone who is clearly an African was no fun.
|
|
|
|
|
|
vostel (f)
|
EthioGirl, how many Nigerians abroad do you know and how many are choosing foregin wives? I know several doctors and lawyers here, well accomplished and stable, and several have chosen Nigerian mates. if you wanted, i could tell you the negative things I hear many black Africans say about Ethiopians -- I hear people say Ethiopians are arrogant, rude, the women have nasty behaviors. Of course these statements are generalizations -- but you should please understand that many other African groups say mean things about Ethiopians just like some may say mean things about Nigerians etc.
Jessilina, are you mocking Africans that do security jobs? At least they have jobs right? You can't deny the fact that Africans in the US. do their best to be economically progressive. Check out the home countries of blacks in Harvard and Yale -- more than half come from Africa and the carribean islands. In other words, there are more non African American blacks (i.e., blacks who are immigrants) than there are African American blacks (i.e., blacks born and bred here in the United States, their own country). why?
I read a report once saying that the average income for Africans is higher than for African Americans. Why? Isn't this your country? The report also said the average education for African immigrants is higher than for African Americans. Go talk to your brothers in jail, on the streets selling crack about whether they can even qualify for a job as a security guard.
True story: My mother right now has an 18 year old African American boy living in our house -- he is my brother's friend. The kid was kicked out of his home by his stepfather and his mother did nothing to stop it. The boy has nowhere to go -- he has called his father several times and his father (who is missing in his life) has not even so much as returned the boy's phone call. The mother's philosphy -- well the boy is 18 years old, let him fend for himself. The boy called my brother in the middle of the night asking for help. seeing that his only other choice would be to go on the streets, my family took him in and has had him in our house now for over 2 months. You want to talk about irresponsible parenting?
My mother encouraged the boy to fill out a FAFSA form to apply for financial aid to attend a community college. He called his mother for help in filling out some of the required figures. His mother said she did not have time for that - obviosuly, she doesn't value education. The mother hasnt even so much as picked the phone up to call my mom to thank her for taking in her son. Sadly, these stories are too common in African American communities. So don't point fingers at African parents living in some of the most adverse conditions possible, who still manage to house and feed their children. In your own backyard here, parents are shirking their responsibilties in unexcusable ways.
|
|
|
|
|
|
vostel (f)
|
Jessilina it is your ignorance that is intolerable. You refused to address the facts, continue making generalizations about an entire continent and its people -- when you don't even know enough about even the smallest country on the continent. You refuse to accept common geography and insist that whatever you conclude as an issue for one African country (even assuming you were correct) is a problem plaguing all of Africa. That's like me trying to tell you what's wrong in the US. and then backing it up by pointing fingers at Canada. In fact, you're not even saying anything about any given African country. Where in Africa are you talking about? Which African people? countries?
in short, if you would properly read my earlier posts you would understand that there is no logical reason for you to be up in arms. I simply pointed out that before pointing fingers at Africa, consider the ails of your country -- finito. That's what's causing your present discontent?
The only thing you have shown by your inability to make any coherent argument is ignorance. i feel sorry for any Naija man that ever dated you. And if your relationship with a Naija man ended, please don't blame him. he simply woke up. Reread your posts and see for yourself how ridiculous they are. My first response to your latest post was to chucke. i can't even imagine a so called educator writing such nonsense and thinking he/she is making sense.
Anyway, please leave us alone jare. If our men are abusive, our children are giving you polio, and our women are doing God knows what to you, then leave us alone. Take your trouble to another message board and harass people. Afterall, nobody is forcing you to visit this board and interact with us right?
|
|
|
|
|
|
EthioAngel (f)
|
Vostel, people always have many things to say about others (race). I agree with you, and yes I know many choose their landmates, but a greater deal chooses for white, why beats me. I try to educate myself, and I've come quite far, but I see that the other female minorities choose their own while the other half (men) choose for white women (the majority). It pisses me off to see the educated go to the hands of white women because they think or maybe are more accepted in the co-orporate world or other benefits.
Just trying to state facts that I see, it doesnt only apply to Nigerians but also to Ethiopians and all other 'minority' groups we're being classified to.
EthioAngel!
|
|
|
|
|
|
lakers
|
Yo, miss Jessilina, all i got to tell you is that you are stack ignorant as a mudafucker . (no disrespect intended).
As a Nigerian born in the US, i feel most of the comments made on this thread are just rude and from ignorant souls who basically had one or two experience (s) with Africans or African Americans. Its just like people saying every black person is a criminal or every black male is in Jail. Generalizations are made by ignorant souls without brains.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
ZuluNation (m)
|
Wow I can't believe I'm just seeing this thread for the first time . Oh my God who is this Jessilina(Educator). My dear as an Educator you should know it's very rude to write in caps, so please for God's sake calm down. I hate long post so I'll just go straight to my point. My dear Jessilina if you think Africans are all what you say they are, why in God's name do you want to always hang around us? I've gone to a few Nigerian parties out here in Dallas, you remind me of the over weight African American women that always crash those parties hoping and praying that some African man would pick em up. And you have the gots to come on NR and say all kinds of shitt about African men. My dear you need to check yourself. |
|
|
|
|
|
rotbog (m)
|
P.S~~~ I, AS AN EDUCATOR AND PSYCHOTHERAPIST AM IN NO WAY TRYING TO BELITTLE ANYONES CULTURE FOR WE ARE ALL A PART OF THIS ECO SYSTEM AND MUST LEARN FROM EACHOTHER.
JESSILINA
WHAT AN EMPTY SUBMISSION FROM A SUPPOSED "EDUCATOR''. LEARN FROM You? WHAT CAN You OFFER?  @VOSTEL,CHINANI AND EMEKA,
GET OVER IT!!!!! LEARN FROM YOUR IGNORANCES
I WONDER WHO THE IGNORANT ONE IS +DELUSIONS GRANDEUR+ I WANT YOU TO TAKE A LITTLE TEST FOR ME. POINT YOUR FIGURE AT THE MESSAGE AND THEN SEE HOW MANY FIGURES POINT BACK AT YOU. SEE, NOW YOU HAVE YOUR ANSWER.
HOW RUDE 
P.S~~~ I, AS AN EDUCATOR AND PSYCHOTHERAPIST AM IN NO WAY TRYING TO BELITTLE ANYONES CULTURE FOR WE ARE ALL A PART OF THIS ECO SYSTEM AND MUST LEARN FROM EACHOTHER.
WHAT AN EMPTY SUBMISSION FROM A SUPPOSED ''EDUCATOR'' LEARN FROM EACH OTHER? WHAT DO You HAVE TO OFFER? BUT THE IGNORANCE IS INTOLERABLE!!!!
INNTOLERABLE? WHO THE HELL ARE You? WELL TIME FOR WORK,AND NOT A SECURITY JOB EITHER!!!!LOL
WHO THE HELL ARE You? WHERE DO You COME FROM ?WHATS YOUR BACKGROUND? PLS GIVE US A BREAK. MODERATOR, BIG BROTHER:::::EVICT THIS ONE!!! |
|
|
|
|
|
jessilina (f)
|
;d ;d ;dthis is too darn funny!!!!!!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
lakers
|
jealous of you ? for what , spare me that bull crap. Girl you talk so much shyt for a so called Educator.
|
|
|
|
|
|
trini_girl (f)
|
Honey,
I understand how you feel. But all africans are not the same. They vary from culture to culture, tribe to tribe, country to country. Nigerian men cannot be trusted if they grew up in the traditional ways of their people. Especially if they are muslim. These men treat women like possessions when they marry them and are very ambitious and will do anything for money and to secure their position.
If you want a good African man, try one from Ghana. Ewe and Ashanti men are very good men. Be sure that they are well educated, because it means they come from a good family that understands the importance of education in life.
Do not be deceived darling. Soon, the height of your euphoria will come down, and the epiphany you think you are having now will be diminished.
Men are men, love is love. It knows no colour, race or culture. But be very careful when it comes to Nigerian men.
|
|
|
|
|
|
bluenubian (f)
|
@trini
on what basis have u come up with this ignorant conclusion?
|
|
|
|
|
|
BigSis (f)
|
Trini,
Interesting enough, I have never met a Ghanaian man I did not like. Funny two of the my best men friends I have had during my life is, including African men, are Ghanaian men. I will go so far of saying I actually "love" one them, and like the other extremely.
I ain't got no more to say y'all.
|
|
|
|
|
|
trini_girl (f)
|
BigSis,
Good for you! My boyfriend is also Ghanaian, and I had to mentally overcome mindsets I had about african men, because I have friends who dated them, married them and were devasted. I also hear about these men.
My wonderful Ghanaian (Ashanti) man treats me like a queen, respects me, adores me, and we have a very healthy relationship even when we argue and don't see eye to eye.
Each tribe I think has its own little cultural standing, which is what makes us all so wonderful and unique as african people.
--------
In Nigeria some of them even give up their wives to sleep with Chiefs for money.
Although it would be wrong of me to generalize and stereotype, I have to warn women and men about NIgerian people as a whole.
My friend works with the Nigerian High Commission in Trinidad, and I'm shocked at how these people, men and woman, smile with each other to their faces and bad talk them behind their backs.
|
|
|
|
|
|
jessilina (f)
|
@Lakers girl~~~~~~ as i stated in my previous post, jealousy will get you no where.instead of being envious go to your community college and start to educate yourself and major in the allied health sciences such as ekg technician, xray technician an the oh so famous nurses aid!!! Oh, and by the way stop buying up all the fade creams from the beauty stores, clothes from the value stores and cologne from the 99 cent stores. And they do sell deodorant in america!
@Bluenubian~~~~~ i wonder why nigerians use the word ignorant all the time? Ignorance is always a reflection on the person or persons who use the word. If you nigerians feel that americans are "ignorant" take your smelly azzes back to your country!!!,
okay lunch time is over, more later,
jessilina
|
|
|
|
|
|
chinani (f)
|
Jessilina has once again proved her own "intelligence".  I guess she comes to Nairaland to smell us. $0.99 smells better than bad credit I guess. . . It is the ignorance of the educated that is most offensive. We use that word b/c you (Jessilina) should know better if you are educated as you claim. I guess Africans have to go to the community college since too many Native Sons are clogging up the welfare office. In Nigeria some of them even give up their wives to sleep with Chiefs for money. Now you're just being ridiculous. Or were you talking about a Omotale film? |
|
|
|
|
|
trini_girl (f)
|
Lol!! Chinani, that was funny , you made me laugh, I may have gone overboard on that , after all, I have no proof ,
Thanks
|
|
|
|
|
|
mochafella (m)
|
I may have gone overboard on that , after all, I have no proof ,
And how much of the rest of your post is overboard?  |
|
|
|
|
|
trini_girl (f)
|
Hi Mochafella,
The rest of my post is based on facts. So until proven otherwise, this is my opinion, unfortunately. I've had too many friends hurt by you guys. Thank God my boyfriend is Ghanaian.
|
|
|
|
|
|
chinani (f)
|
T_G, why don't you & your friends date non-Africans? Native T-Ters? Africans can't be the only men on the island. . .
|
|
|
|
|
|
mochafella (m)
|
The rest of my post is based on facts. So until proven otherwise, this is my opinion, unfortunately. I've had too many friends hurt by you guys. Thank God my boyfriend is Ghanaian.
I doubt it will be proven otherwise if your first instinct is to flame a Nigerian messageboard. Especially if you consider movie plots as fair game. |
|
|
|
|
|
mamaput (f)
|
.s~~~ i, as an educator and psychotherapist am in no way trying to belittle anyones culture Ewww that is big big school you go. Me i did not go to school i only cook and my kids count my money for me because i only know the colour not the number the wrote. and me i have no culture , If i claim white , people will say its a lie, if i claim black , people will say its a lie. for we are all a part of this eco system and must learn from eachother. Each culture, society or ethnic group compliments the other wheather we want to admit it or not. I myself have no ill will for the african men nor women. But the ignorance is intolerable!!!! Teacher has spoken the teacher with a DR title everyone kneel down and say thankyou. Well time for work,and not a security job either!!!!lol jessilina We here you before you said you are teacher with DR title. ewwww if na be i for no get time for internet Nawaa. Anyway am not even up to security so my mouth shut up. by the way when it comes to education you cannot impress any Nigerian at all In the industrial world The USA has the highest rate of illiteracy any child will tell you that. |
|
|
|
|
|
Ugwumba (m)
|
this entire tirade is not going anywhere, because once emotions (or is it personal experience/ hurt) weigh in, reason takes flight.
generalizations are wrong whoever they come from.
i have had AA, indian, dutch, chinese, hungarian, other african friends and have found most pleasant.
"the friends you attract are a reflection of the person you are, so take a good look in the mirror first'.
|
|
|
|
|
|
TeshaS (f)
|
Hi I am an African American woman married to a Nigerian man. We have been married for almost six years. Six long years some of which have been good and others not so good. I am a point where I need to decide if I want to stay in the relationship. We have 2 sons I just had a baby early this year. My husband is not possessive but he is aggressive. I have been through him having affair and all. And I stayed. He is a good provider. We have 2 homes and nice vehicles. My problem is my husband in my opinion is selfish and very arrogant. Just recently I got a promotion and I am making good money and he seems to be jealous. He seems to be angry all the time. He always has an attitude. And I am sick of walking around my house on egg shells. With him nothing is never good enough. For instance he always has to blame someone or somebody. And I believe this stems back to his childhood. He's told me about being beat not spanked but beat if he didn't receive an A on his school work. Accidents in his eyes just don't happen. I have 3 sons and boys and myself make mistakes and have accidents. He is so quick to scream about our shortcoming but he doesn't want his mentioned. He does help a little more with the boys. After I broke it down. If you want to have your clothes washed, dinner done and house clean at all times you need to help out a little more. I don't mind doing these thing but you can assist with somethings. If you don't want to help maybe I need to stay at home full time and you carry us financially. He started hellping then. I am just so sick of his bad spirit. It is draining me. |
|
|
|
|
|
Ugwumba (m)
|
@ TeshaS, you don't say anything about religion (God). Is there God in the house? i.e. is your Nigerian husband a religious man?
Let me explain where i am coming from.
Most Nigerian men that are not 'birthed' in some faith or the other, are difficult to reason with (my experience).
Getting to talk things over with him in a prayerful atmosphere does help to get your feelings and concerns across. he is more likely to understand the imperfections in people (including himself) by learning about the lives of strong men of faith.
this is the 'marriage counselling' route nigerians are used to.
try bringing in God, keep faith with him, and maybe things will improve.
PS - hope he does not get physical with his anger, because if he does, its time to move on sister.
|
|
|
|
|
|
bluenubian (f)
|
@jessi or whatever your name is ?
for one your name sounds stupid anyways, stupid name to go with a stupid lady
I ll say it again, "you are ignorant", where in my statement was i refering to u?, country", what are u doing on this site. did it say dollarland when you were signing on, go broadcast your hate for nigerian guys somewhere else where people might actually listen. as a matter of fact, go join some ghana forum, if that pleases u. Our men do not definitely treat us like u claim they have treated u, cause we (nigerian women) match them wit for wit, apparently u were too stupid to realize they were probably trying to use u
You, miss lady are rejected commodity, your men do not want u, not american men, not trinidadian men ( refering to miss trini). so u stupidly fell a our smart Nigerian man that ofcourse used u to his gain. I love our Nigerian Men, what were u thinking before he came and swooped you off your feet, that he was an African prince somewhere and is here to make u his princess. I say it again. You were ignorant, don't forget stupid too.
Nigerian Men are not angels, neither is Jamaican Men, American Men, or even Ghanaian Men, i had my share of Bad luck with a Jamaican Guy, and i moved on, u don't see me crying about it, i still dated a jamaicn guy after that.
And the Ghanaian guy that u claim treats u better is just using u too, jus like the Nigerian Guy used u, cause u ve got stupid written all over your face, so any guy will take advantage of u , Nigerian or Ghanaian, same goes for Trini lady.
"stupid women"
|
|
|
|
|
|
twinkledew (f)
|
@ Jessi
i am not bi-sexual. u?
|
|
|
|
|
|
![Nairaland [Nigerian Forum] Home](http://www.nairaland.com/Themes/default/images/english/home.gif)
Author
