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bagidi
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My husband is a flirt and known for it by my family and his. He impregnated a girl and had a baby outside. I have tried to talk it out with him but he has refused to change. Recently I met a guy and one thing led to the other and we fell in love. My knowing him made me to worry less about my flirting husband because now, I care less wherever or whenever he goes and comes, i have even found making love uninteresting with my husband. This new guy kisses and romances me but we have not the main thing anyway. But I am afraid because my husband's tradition is against this, what should i do? Is this adultery already?
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jb-baby (f)
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YES MA IT IS ADULTERY n the lord is against such, please stay away frm d new guy n talk things over wt ur husband.
He might nt listern on time though bt wt prayers n love, so much love from u he would change.
u av to really be close to God because he is d only one that can resolve such situations.
having an affair would only ruin things d more.
I AM SO SORRY about D PRESENT SITUATION, BT IT'S WELL.
JUST BE PRAYERFUL.
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bagidi
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thank u so much for your encouragement and advice. I have been trying these days to get really close to God, I have come to know he is the only one that can give me love. Even if I don't get love from any man, I now believe God is there for me. Your advice really elated and freed my mind.
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mamaput (f)
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I think you are only adding to your problems,.
What ever you want to do about your husband , you need a clear head and clean hands.
If what you are doing now leaks out you will be in a mess and a big one as that.
I suggest you go and visit a friend, sister , brother ,mother . Someone a little bit far away .And use the time to think things over
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mamaput (f)
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Or you can tell your husband you are no more sleeping with him till he has done an Aids test.
If he gose to do it just maybe the fear whilewaiting for the result may make him start to use condom.
There is no cure for cheating husbands. The only thing to be done is that he uses condom outside,
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Analytical (m)
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Bagidi,
Yes it is ADULTERY! But you can still retrace your steps. Severe yourself from this new fellow. It will only bring you misery and regret later. End that relationship with him now. Remember whatever brought you and your husband in the first place, it is called first love. Bring it back.
But take care of you first. Fix yourself. Quit trying to get close to God. Just get close to him. He won't drive you out. He likes us just as we are to come to him. Do it now. Hit the floor and make a complete surrender of yourself and your marriage to Him. He will surely see to it.
Then work on yourself. What is that that drives out your husband? Probably your nagging. Nagging won't make him stop cheating. Quit that. Maybe your shoddy appearance? Then work on that. Get seductive for him alone. It is allowed. Seduce him back, he belongs to you. Or is it sex? Don't deny him. Let him beg you to stop and when he does, don't stop! Give him overdose of it. Drain him and he won't find any reason to take his eye of you. It works.
Also accept the mistake he has made. Treat the child as yours. Accept her. Let your hubby see the complete change in you. I tell you, he will repent and beg for your forgivennes and ask for that same God that has so changed you. There surely is a cure for cheating husband!
You will need all the resilience and courage you've got. You can do it, you can bring back that fire, radiance and warmth in your home.
Get to work now, right away! God be with you.
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Bolarge (m)
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To answer ur question upfront: Yes it is adultery.please stay away from it. The mistake women make time n'time again is always believing the new guy is better than d philandering husband. Don't u think the emotional trough u are experiencing cld've made even the devil look like a knight in shining armor? I'm not in any way questioning ur judgement,all I'm tryin to say is u're too emotionally vulnerable now and any "sharp" guy can easily work his way into ur heart n'eventually between ur . . u know what For most women,it's only when he's through dt they realise d nu guy wz no better dn d devil @ home. What kind of man will fool around a married woman anyway? Think 'bout it. NB:Most pathologically adulterous men are actually secretly hoping and praying for their wives to get involved in such a mess.That way all hell will be let loose and believe me it's usually not the man dt will be @ d receiving end. The same society dt is lookin the other way as ur husband is comitting sexual atrocities all over the place will kill u for dt one-time romp.  |
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sisimose (f)
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IT IS ADULTERY and you are both guilty the fact he did it first makes no difference, you both need urgent talks to see where your marriage is heading, time to make some clear and final decisions. it's your beds, you two need to sort it out now.
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uspry1 (f)
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Yes you and your husband are committed adultery under God's eyes---SINFULLY!!!
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Goggle
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   :'(It may be very easy to say that this is adultery but gents and ladies lets face the reality and talk to ourselves. Guys to guys and ladies to ladies. The devil is gradually taking our [i]home, family and virtues away from us through sureptitious means. Starting from the bank, ladies in the banks want to date their customers, they will even be offering themselves seductively, infact the married young ones are the target all in the name of a fling, some even call it just freinds and foreplay(f'n'f). Let us wake up most families that started nowadays don't last anymore, before u close your eyes and open it they have broken up, what is going on. My people lets talk about this, these are challenges that concerns all of us and we must all address it.
Is there no more decorum, self discipline anymore? What is it really, entering you and coming, all in space of 5 minutes and you and I will look like moron or fool, come of it and put a stop to this don't let any useless girl break your home and shatter your dream, make turn around and decide for the best today. Chose to be the best for the best ( your spouse), you will ive to be grateful to yourself for the right decision[/i][flash=200,200][/flash]  .
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nduleme (m)
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Though I think this is coming much too late, but we know a cub today certainly has the features of a lion he will be tomorrow, and there is no gain-saying the fact.
I strongly believe its easy to know a man that would cheat his wife, at the dating stage she would have seen some goings on, probably she would want to ignore them because "she is in love".
My advice for a lady that finds herself in a home that both of them have relationships outside the home, is for her to do a rethink. Since you were rather to accept him inspite of the "little little" sights you saw at your pre-Marriage stage, you should be able to hold on.
First 2 wrongs don't make a right, so you should stop it and begin to see see how you can make up with your husband
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Seun (m)
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The marriage is over. Break it up. End of story. You shouldn't have married a player in the first place.
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youngies (m)
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Seun, why do you leave her with no hope or option? It is rather too presumptious
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Seun (m)
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The husband is cheating to the point of having a child outside, now the wife is cheating. Is there any marriage left?
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youngies (m)
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A lot is still left in the marriage, because it is for better for worse. ups and down are to be expected including cheating and betrayals.
But again the ability of the couple to summount their wahala is what matters, and in this case, i see the willingness of one the partners to still make it work.
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FELORE (f)
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adultry BIG TIME, yes ma, it sooooo is, may god help u and yo family!!  |
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chika98
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What a man can do a woman can do too  Jk sha. |
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princess k
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nope not adultery, its revenge  |
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salinson (m)
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all i could advise u do is that , when so called your husband is now care less for your let his family be aware of this and if you don't have in tress in him again just go for divorce.But don't leave that guy that you just met, only avoid sex with him and your husband too because of disease .
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zeal500 (m)
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Screw if u have to
no only am sabi asala
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