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favourwal (f)
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Sweetie, men know how to kill but women know how to survive. Survival is the word. For u and your son.u are going to hurt so bad sometimes you'll feel like killing your son's father. But the fact still remains that he is your son's father. Do not do anything when u are angry. First of all forgive him and secondly forgive yourself for being stupid getting involved with a guy like that. Thirdly forgive your family for not being there for u when u needed them most.why because u need to forgive those who have hurt, offended, or damaged you in your lifetime, regardless of the offense. That is the only way to move forward. About telling your son, tell him now. But do not ever let him see his father in a bad light no matter what he has done. Let him always know that his father loves and cares for him in his own way. But you all cannot be together. Explain to him. He loves u and will definitely understand.but u and his father have to talk. And reach an agreement. Communication is key even if u agree to disagree. But u must definitely give your terms and his and reach a concensus. I wish you all the best. Cheer up its not the end of the world. And when u are down to nothing god is definitely up to something.  |
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Echidime (m)
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Hello Dear,
Your story has sadden my heart,What am going to say will really hurt you and the people that has giving you their advice in this forum. I as a full Nigerian will humbly Advice you, Never ALLOW THAT ANIMAL TO TAKE AWAY YOUR GOD GIVING CHILD FROM YOU,to join his new found love and family. Any man who want to marry you now should love you together with your son or else no deal. Raise your Son alone as you've done all these years and God sees you through, Do you think is now that God who sees you through when you were in the wilderness will Abandone you now? NEVER. YOur son in 10 now will soon be a full man,there are so many single mothers here in Nigeria, yet their son can't visit their father because of same story like yours.
Depend only on GOD oooooooo, As for your Animal 419 Ex lover boy, he ONLY WANT his son not you,and if he succeed GOD won't forgive you,God has a purpose in your life thats why he sees you through all this years.CAN I ASK you a question? If your son goes to him what will you tell your own family when they will want to see the boy? of course they too are really heartless. 2. Make sure that your Father and his father meet and the wedding conducted before he can see his son, his mother seeing your mother is nonsense,nothing solid will come out of it, do you bet me?
Thats why all the HOLY books said that a man is the head of a family,unless you don't read any HOLY book about GOD.
And In your letters I can see that you are or have already falling in love to him again; But I tell you your Emotions are deciving you,Concentrate on your work and raise your God giving son, train him well if you can't as he is now being a man,which is normal that it will get to a time when you can no longer handle him,then pray for a honest husband that will marry you and help you raise him like his father.This will give you supreme pleasure.
To God be the Glory
With LOve
Echidime
Cameroun
central Africa
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Oracle (m)
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My advice for is not to do something you might regret in the future, my mum always says "don't take permanent solutions over temporary problems". please be careful
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mrmayor (m)
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Chocolatte,
Hi,I feel your pain,its really sad what you have suffered.I know its no small feat raising a child single handed in Europe,even when you do have access the social services it still not easy.My advice to you is this,play hard ball.
1.He must acknowledge that the Son is His,by way of a DNA test since he refused to accept that the boy was his.
2.His family and wife must know about the situation,please don't play hide and seek game with him,if he wants to see his son you must know his details i.e where he works,lives,please don't play any hide and seek game with him because he hi s stranger to you and your son.
3.He must pay child support,he must have his papers sorted so he can and should pay for child support.
4.If he doesn't agree and keeps buzzing you,call the Met on his A$$
I really hope you meet a better person in future to share your life with.Take care of your son and yourself,keep your head up at all times,don't let him humiliate you,you are not a teen anymore.
Cheers
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sammyjl (f)
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I might be late on giving some advice, but its never too late. Girl, you are a strong woman. If I was in your shoes right now, I'D have my number changed. I'D tell that dude before I get my number changed that I've been doing great all thiz years without him and will sure keep on doing great. Than I'll change my number because the thing with me is that, if i don't like someone, i want that someone to be as far away from me as possible and for me to be far aswell. >:(God has a reason for everything that happens. Don't you ever give up your boy. Tell him when he is way old enough, to handle the situation. 
Your story really touched me and I broke down in tears when I was reading it. Its so bad but you are a very strong woman and should keep on being strong, don't give up. And don't forget that God is always listening even when we do not have time to talk to him, he's always there for us.
You might be somehow different, but if it was me, I'll tell all those who did not help me to back off and give them a piece of my mind because I don't accept nonsense. I have learned so much in life and don't have mercy for such crap. The nerve of that man to want to come in your son's life when he's all grown up, how stupid of him, he must just back off.
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