My Friend's Wife Doesn't Like Sex

 

but what if the man is a sex-maniac and wants it always?? maybe the woman has the right desire for sex while the man's is abnormal!

Yeah, like having a crazy obssession to marry a virgin 

partly 

thats too bad, because he will eventually find someone that does, and will start an affair. dudes love sex too much to hold back.

A real experienced dude who has been there b/4. Not just those talking and assuming.

I believe him. A lifetime commitment has bigger implications than most people realise at times and they jump iinto it with a one tracked mind ideology only to realise that there is hardly anyroad back 4 them when they r in it, esp if it is for the rest of your life(unless u have decided to be a semi priest/nun)

Since they are married, Bible never go against that. I think something is more to it than the biblical issue

@CY
"I was with a very good friend last night.  He has been married for two years now, and we have been friends for long now.

This discussion came up when he told me he liked a female friend of mine, and I was like “hey you are married”.  We got talking and he told me something I knew could destroy his home."

CY tell us the truth........how 'close' are you with this man to be discussing his sex life with his wife?
Please my Crystal balls tell me you are the one he wants to 'taste'' too
You better Run 440, before goat feeds on the palmfronts on your head.

i guess your friend is suffering den i mean whts a marriage without sex!!!

sometimes there are underlying reasons for a woman not liking sex, its not enough to assuem that she just doesn't, what the husband is doing by sleeping aroung is very very wrong, he shoudl sit his wife down an dlet her know his frutrations and explain in clear terms what she is making him do. if he tries to understand her he may find that both of them would be able to reach very acceptable compromise.

I just did a Google search for "christian sex wife doesn't give sex" because I am having this problem.

I am a christian. I am ordained, and been to Bible school. I am not a minister in a church but do own and author my own christian website. My wife is from Russia and is a christian.

I grew up with some sexual problems, 1st I found my dad's Playboy collection when I was about 7. And then the pervert who molested my sister let me look at his more hardcore magazines when I was about 14. He never touched me, but these porn magazines at such a young age created a strong sexual appetite. I only had 1 girlfriend before I was married whom I had sex with. Thats about it for my experience.

My wife was not a virgin, but had sex only one time.

Sex was the #1 reason I got married, but wanted a christian wife. Alot of people jump on me for marrying for sex, especially christians, particularly women christians. yet this is a legitimate Biblical reason to marry:

1 Cor 7:
8 I say therefore to the unmarried and the widows, It is good for them if they remain even as I.
9 But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn.

My wife does give me sex, but like the original story behind this thread she denies me often. I probably get sex 3 times every 4 weeks. She said she would give me sex twice a week but I don't get that any more, and sometimes go more than 7 days without it.

She also thinks its evil to like sex, even in marriage, and thinks lingerie is evil. She does do more than missionary position, but only 2 other positions. She is very leary of oral sex but does give it about every 45 days or so.

If I had my way I would have sex 3-4 times a week.

She doesn't want oral on her. She also dislikes cuddling and holding hands. Not once in our 7 years of marriage has she fallen asleep in my arms. She also doesn't like to kiss. She also is very violent, and was once jailed for attacking me. She since has not done such as jail has scared her. But she is very much full of anger.

She is what many christians call a legalist. She thinks fun in general is a sin and despises American entertainment. She does not recieve Pastoral correction, or correction from counselors. She won't even read any books I recommend. She thinks I and most Americans are evil.

Even tho I am ordained, run a christian website, she thinks I will miss the rapture or possibly go to hell.

These problems are not here to be discussed but only to paint the picture of who she is. Trying to correct her only brings more wrath, which is verbal. She thinks her anger and wrath is Holy anger. She thinks she is living a Godly life.

So I believe the story this other guy is having. I have heard numerous accounts of religous women who get too religous and think sex is evil.

What are my options?

Counseling does nothing, she will not change, even when I offer to change my habits.

Teaching or showing the Bible is fruitless because she refuses to be taught by a carnal christian, like me and most Americans.

recomending materials to read or listened to are ignored.

Pornography to me is something I now dispise, even when I seemly am forced to it. I hate it and never keep it.

I entertain thoughts of adultery but know if I did it, I would regret it immediatley after an orgasm and begin crying like a fool and repenting.

It's very frustrating. as my wife KNEW I was marrying her for sex before we got married. She also KNEW the personal traits about me she dislikes so heavily:

I like American entertainment.
I am not a skilled labourer.
I am not wealthy.

This does not mean I cannot be a better husband, but no matter what concessions I make, she remains hostile and unswerving in her stance. I am thankful I get as much sex as I do. But she often argues with me, or yells at me during sex!!!

Sex most of the time is not very enjoyable as you could guess.

So like the old song goes,

"So now I'm praying for the end of time
To hurry up and arrive
Cause if I gotta spend another minute with you
I don't think that I can really survive
I'll never break my promise or forget my vow
But God only knows what I can do right now
I'm praying for the end of time
It's all that I can do
Praying for the end of time, so I can end my time with you!!!"


PARADISE BY THE DASHBOARD LIGHT
Meatloaf

tell your friend to gave her one shot,she will like it

This is one of the reasons,I do not want to hear am a virgin,like Aqua would say,please commission that road asap,guys do not marry non tested.

here is the paradox,

first a married man should not have a female friend period.  and don't try to bullshit me of how platonic it is,because i don't care
second, married men with male friends get the worst advice sometimes, because a good female friend will give the best advice. 
see the problem
so he should stop talkin to u about your freind adn his sex life and talk to God about coping with it, but of course we know that is not what is going to happen right
very soon he will be asking u for sex just watch and see

Why on earth are we attacking the concept of virginity? At least all sexually active adults were once virgins before they threw it away. Did your virginity (lost) affect your sex life when u became active? The problem is not with marrying a virgin.

The lady is frigid. Frigidity is a medical/psychological condition which requires treatment from experts. So many factors are involved.  Past abuse, religious upbringing, etc might no be unconnected with this.

Some people suggested that being a virgin at 29 might have helped in suppressing her urge. That is a big NO NO. Rather it should have helped in making her tear the husband apart. Just imagine a tamed tigress being released into the wild by marriage

Naturally (and environmental influence too) some people don't like sex. So intending xtian couples should talk about sex 'explicitly' during courtship.

The only way out of this is for the guy to stop demanding sex. He should rather seduce her into liking it. Women are emotionally complex. A good night sex is a product of the her cumulative experience during the day. The guy should love the wife, there is no woman who refuses a guy she loves (or loves her) sex. Even if she is frigid she will honestly appeal to the husband for some level of understanding while they seek medical help. What about being a little bit tender, start the morning with some lovely words, kisses, than steal out some time during the day, call her up and tell her how she means the whole world to u, seduce her, the way would have been prepared by the time the guy arrives home.

Yeah, most born again xtians don't like experimenting when it comes to sex. Why not give her a good deal with the conventional style which would leave her asking for more. Foreplay and excessive petting will break her down in no time.

@ CY, if your friend (a guy) keeps relating such sensitive details to u. In your 'innocent' bid to help him out, u might not even know when u will get emotionally entangled,,,
emmmm and the rest will be story. Remember that Solomon said that the way of a man and a lady (maid) is one of the most puzzling life's mysteries. and in that mystery, anything can happen when both parties lose their inhibitions

if a man marries a virgin and sleeps with her the first time alot of things can happen.
i believe it was the first experiance that might cause the problem.
may be the guy hurridly made love to her and she became rigid.
the best way to make love to a virgin is to take it step by step.
after the first day of marriage, u can start with only kissing and cudling, the next day u proceed further, this will make her body to adjust to the system. by the time her body is ready u make love to her nice and slow then she will enjoy it and long for more. a lot of men make mistakes by rushing their virgin wife and it will affect her badly.
she might end up been rigid because of the pain she encountered or she might become a sex manaic. and if the husband can't cope she looks outside.

so if this doesnt work she might have sex-spiritual problems. pray for her any thing can happen.
u can force her to watch porn movies it might help.

but best of all pray.
wish u the best.