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bagoma (f)
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I came across this story somewhere,
Jude and roseline and have been happily married for about two years, then one day Jude happened upon roseline's payslip and was the beginning of katakata.
"so you earn this much, eh?"
"what if i earn this much?" roseline retorted. the husband was quiet for a while then he said
"henceforth, you must bring your paycheck home to me as your husband. i am the head of this home and must take charge in everything including your finances. i will determine how best we spend our resources".
roseline was adamant in her refusal and this has caused untold strain on the marriage, threatening it.
Now dear Nairaland users, would you as a woman faithfully submit your salary to your husband to determine how you spend it?
and as a man, would you demand your wife submits her salary to you?
Please lets hear your views.
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MMK (m)
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Me ask my wife for her paycheck. No way!
Even if she's earning thousands of dollars, i will remain a typical African man, providing every gadem thing in the house so as to maintain my respect in the house.
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damygurl (f)
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say what? heck no! for where? i no be mumu o!
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bagoma (f)
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ha ha  damigurl, so na only mumu go do am? ok what if he demands it? what then? |
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damygurl (f)
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demand? hehe! for me to marry a guy he's gonknow me and know d kind of jokes i like. that demand stuff is not my kind of joke and he's not gon try it with me.
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IAH (f)
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ok what if he demands it? what then?
If he demands it, I will give him...and I will make sure I become highly demanding! So in the end I will be the one to spend my money!  Lol, just kidding. Actually, I don't think it can happen with civilized couples. |
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disney (f)
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Big Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo because l love money.  |
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fancidiva (f)
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heck no.... besides he gets his own paycheck so why should i give him mine...... he's entitled to see it, but he ain't getting it  |
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alheri (f)
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That man has no shame! Imagine, bring your pay cheque to me. Any way I think anyman who would do that is no man. Fine she shouldnt hide how much she earns from him but submit her cheque to him?PULEEZ! And yes Na only mumu go do am.
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Rolly
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i will not need to show him my paycheck because when i get my job, i'll tell him how much i was offered and he should be able to keep that in mind but tho, if we talk a lot, like talk about the day and stuff like that, it should drop from my lips and i'll say "oh i got paid today and this was what i was paid....." and he'll say " thats true sef, i got my paycheck too and the amount was ......" so he wouldnt have to see my paycheck and i wouldnt have to see his. but we should be so close that i'll be like "dear, i'm running late can u please deposit my check for me?" and one day, he'll say the same thing. and we'll all be happy. don't u think?  |
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bagoma (f)
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so far we've been saying NO. including me!  i never did and never will. So does that mean we arent that submisive to our man? as in total submission, him being the head and all that? And guys, common, lets hear from you. what would you do? |
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nikkylolly (f)
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They should have discussed about that before or after marriage but to think of the way it happened - Not in this life would I bring my payslips back home to my husband, not when he said in a commanding tone. Even if he said it in a lovely tone, does he want me to start waiting for him to be back from work before I could do things on my own? We can share bills but not totally in control of my finances. If I do that, it'll come to a stage where I would have to ask him for money 4 personal things. What a ridiculous thing. It's one thing to be in love, it's another to be in charge. I don't think the marriage vows says ' the husband would be in charge' does it? I think it says 'Be each other's keeper'. There should be a bit of respect for each other but not living like the life of a president and citizens.
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Akolawole (m)
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Truly, Women are " " what they are. I will never ask for her Wage Slips. I will take full responsibility of the house BUT when the time of reckoning comes, i will keep her completely incommunicado about my Finances.
Period.
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bagoma (f)
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kola what are women?
so for you its tit for tat.
ummmmn!
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Akolawole (m)
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@Bagoma
There is nothing wrong in a woman saying "Honey, today is our pay date you know ?" and for a responsible hubby to say "iyawo that's good."
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Sassykes (f)
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Unless he thinks it is a cave man tv show, then fine i will let it pass but in real life he better watch his lips because i will be aiming a fist to it. Deman what the f@%# is he thinking, if i went to college alone and got the credits and certificate then whatever the products of that schooling brings me then it is all mine to do with as i freaking please. This is why i insist on 50% in everything in a relationship.
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mide2 (f)
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My husband is sure going to know how much i earn and i'll know how much he does because hmmmm.....me i don see big yawa erupt for that kin thing ooo
The wife didn't have an idea of what her husband was earning as a bank manager and tot he could access the strong room 24/7 and collect his father's money wey dey there.The hussy too was doing bobo nice and mr cool guy, big boi, effizy and stuffs, he never curbed the never ending demands of madam.
Alas ! He was bankrupt and even owed some million naira, lost his job in the process and wahala come they look their face. Inside the yawa, the wife now sabi the amount of money her hussy earns and realise they've been living in fantasy-real world.
So my dears, i think i will be open and likewise my hubby on the amount i earn and then keep it in my own account and so does he unless he wishes to give me his sha o.
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allonym
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if i were a lot more fiscally responsible, I would demand my spouse's paycheck. I don't see anything wrong with that. Its certainly been done for years by both men and women. Sometimes the one who surrenders the paycheck has to go and ask for money when they want something - that is the sacrifice when you have someone else manage your finances.
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Scorpio (f)
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Givin him my paycheck is a Hell No, but lettin him know how much i earn per hour is cool, i can live with that.
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christyne (f)
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No need of submiting my paycheck to my husband but i'll let him knw everything about my finances.
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bagoma (f)
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@scorpio and christyn,
same feelings exactly.
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Seun (m)
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Some husbands make such silly demands because of this yeye idea of "submission". I am upset with some of the things men do. What pains me most is when you see the wife so cool and peaceloving but the husband is a bully and one looks at the situation and says it's just not fair at all. I don't understand why I would take someone as my wife and want to be treating her as my daughter or something. It's just not right and very offensive to think about.
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Akolawole (m)
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@Seun
What are you trying to say?
You are one of those men that have westernised Nigeria. Nigerian men are not bad at all. I am not sure you are married, but if you are, you will understand. Women are the weaker vessel and they need to submit themselves to us. We will give them respect but we are the commander-in-chief of the house.
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Scorpio (f)
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Akolawole, so r ya tryin to say that everything in your house has to go by you as in it's either u approve of it or not? because i don't understand your last post.
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mizkay (f)
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is this another form of slavery?.......man this sounds sooo ancient it is actually gaining funny ground hehehe.....
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icingbaby (f)
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nooooooooooooo way, giving my paycheck to my husband i can't even picture myself doing it, my paycheck belong to me, me only he needs to go work for is own, what does he take me for fool. i will go and work my ass out and then give the paycheck to my husband, is he God? give my paycheck to my husband my ass.
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mizkay (f)
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nooooooooooooo way, giving my paycheck to my husband i can't even picture myself doing it, my paycheck belong to me, me only he needs to go work for is own, what does he take me for fool. i will go and work my ass out and then give the paycheck to my husband, is he God? give my paycheck to my husband my ass.
icingbaby cool down......nobody will take your hard earned paycheck that i am sure of. If them try na yi be say u go just poor bucket of ice for them head |
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icingbaby (f)
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i'm already cool down, because i know ain't no husband of mine is going to take my paycheck. i will sure poor the bucket of ice from his head down. |
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seeni4ever (m)
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why should husband be putting his nose in his wife finances, that is bullshit. what is matter most is both of us to take good care of our kids. if you see or know any man doing things like please call 911 he must be insane.
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icingbaby (f)
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yeah call 911 on his ass. |
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alheri (f)
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@Seun
What are you trying to say?
You are one of those men that have westernised Nigeria. Nigerian men are not bad at all. I am not sure you are married, but if you are, you will understand. Women are the weaker vessel and they need to submit themselves to us. We will give them respect but we are the commander-in-chief of the house.
please leave seun alone. He is saying the truth, I am married and I understand. Yes submission, true and good enough. Yourself and not your paycheck! Weaker vessle or whatever, commander-in-chief or not, a man shouldnt look at his wives allowance. There is nothing wrong with a woman chipping in sometimes but it is not mandatory. Anytime I have to use my money for something in the house, my husband been a good man will always refund me my money even when I don't ask. That is how it should be. I am free to use my money as I like, for clothes,jewelry,fast food, toys for the kids, whatever I like. Its just that I prefer to save most of the time which always comes in handy in the family. But my husband will always refund me! Its not about been westernized. My mother always had a good job but my father never allowed her to buy even matches in his house! |
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