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1forall (m)
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An old friend would be getting married in a few months. While we spoke some days ago he said they would be accepting no gifts? I asked and he admitted it was his idea, "Cash only", he said. He appeared reluctant to explain his reason(s) and I didnt pry further. It really sounded strange to me and I wonder, why should that be?  |
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sisimose (f)
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nothinng crass about this, infact its the more modern way to do things gone are the days when married people end up with duplicate gifts, pots go full house, abeg.
some people use wedding lists service , which i did at mine, i asked people to go to Debenhams for the gifts that i had picked out already,they could either select gifts on line to get delivered to us as well. great thing is once one list has been bought it gets taken off the list so no duplication. Any way as for people asking for cash that is ok, some people give the couple vouchers from their selected stores(this method is too much hassle)
The gift list service is better, quick, gets delivered to you,saves your guests running around shops for your gift,great for those who are busy they can browse on line and order from your chosen store.
so it is not CRASS
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1forall (m)
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I said strictly no gifts sisi, he mentioned he was going to have it printed on the wedding invitation, I don't think thats modern in any way.
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sisimose (f)
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your opinion lol that is not what a wedding planner will tell you  |
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BigSis (f)
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There is no way I would participate. If I decided to give cash on my own, that is one thing. But to demand cash, that is so out of order. I would decline the wedding invitation, and send a nice card.
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sisimose (f)
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@bigsis lol  |
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1forall (m)
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Not tasteful.
Methinks youre so right. Sisimose preventing gift duplication is not the same as 'absolutely no gifts' Yea bigsis I felt the same way. So if someone was thinking to give them a car? and he reads on the wedding invitation "No gifts please, cash only. Thank you", do you think he'll give them the car's value in cash? I have a feeling his fiance isnt totally in with the idea and I'm still curious about his reason for his decision though I hope to find out somehow. Anyone come across a similar case? |
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Seun (m)
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I think it may only be a matter of time before more couples adopt this policy. I really love it!  |
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BlackMamba (m)
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Personally, no gifts in whatever shape or form. We have to stop indirectly levying people during marriage, birthday, naming ceremony, funeral etc. If you're not up to it, don't do it.
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kiwibabe (f)
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I think it is a good idea, he should put with the invitations a blank envelope for donotations then people can donate whatever they like. If you have all the worldly material possessions there's no point in accepting what they don't want. ;DYou can never have enough money |
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Radiant (f)
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Nothing wrong with the idea. It's a matter of preference  |
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naijafresh (m)
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To prevent duplication of gifts a polite note saying that cash would be preferred to gifts is seen as a more modern way of doing things You donut have to give if you don't want to Thats why in the UK we have wedding lists online, though the requests can be outrageous They are usually a list of home essentials that the newly wed couple think they need saves having to deal with 3 irons 5 toasters and an ugly flower vase that you will be throwing away as soon as you get home |
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Radiant (f)
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No be money them use plan and organize the wedding? Abi na mouth? |
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omoge (f)
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well, maybe they got everything they needed in their homes. requesting money is interesting, but then you send the equivalent of what you plan buying as present, if $8 worth of gift, send that $8. if $3 worth card, send that 3 dollars.
if 50 naira worth of gift, sent that 50 naira.
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puree
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Kai!!, Nigerians!!!, if something is not yr kind of style or if something is new and you have phobia for change, stop using ignorance as an excuse to imply that "only cash please , no gift" is a DEMAND for money from the poor.
Check your dictionary, the last time i checked mine, demand does not mean "money by force".
It is only reasonable for a couple going back abroad to save expenses by not having to cargo all the cheap plastics and expensive cars back home. and in a case where the couple reside in naija, it will just save them the hassle of having to live with unnecessary baggage. Another reason is the spiritual implication attached to gifts at weddings so am sure if you ask your friend it might be one of these reasons. Speaking from experience, those who have this on their I.V are usually quite comfortable and do not depend on the money to meet the cost of the wedding in any way, infact i am going to do the same plus use the online gift list. it's less stressful and convenient.
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spoilt (f)
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don't blame him. newly weds get like 16 picture frames , 10 baby bath sets, 1800 toasters and 400 sets of tumblers! . i'm just kidding but sometimes the presents are just downright annoying. maybe they might be leaving the country soon and don't want "load'? but then thats me making excuses for them. its a little to poor taste telling people what exactly you want them to give you. they could have been more subtle! |
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Seun (m)
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I don't think it's poor taste to tell people exactly what you want: we need to abandon this culture of hypocrisy.
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9ja4eva (m)
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No be money them use plan and organize the wedding? Abi na mouth?
Mba o beans. |
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akara (m)
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most pressents are just cheap plastic that might not fit the taste of the couple, so better to give them money to buy to their taste. Why fill the house buckets, picture frames and baby things. Cash should be the in-thing.
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swing4real (m)
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I don´t see anything wrong with that.It is also done in some part of Spain.You only give the couples cash and not gift.
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puree
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I think its been bold and real to say exactly what you want. Most times comfortable and successful people do this with no fear of what people will think or say. For example if i come to your house and i tell you how i want my plaintain fried, diced , sliced e.tc , it does not cost you extra money, it is still thesame plaintain, so also it's still thesame 250 naira or 10 pounds you intended to use to buy me a set of cups, so putting it in an envelope for the couple won't reduce the worth of what you intended to give in the first place. it is their day, if you love them enough give them what they want, but if you do not have it am sure they'll appreciate your presence.you don't have to question their intention. so what would you say to "strictly by invitation" I.Vs. Am sure if we had a thread on that one ,loads of abuses will start to flow in. Things does not have to be the way we've always been used to. there's always a time for a change, and that change does not have to be kool with everyone.This idea has got nothing to do with taste or poverty. the guy is just been real.
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Tornadoz (m)
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What a clever way to start a business or is it marriage. Do you get a refund if the celebrations don't meet your standards? Someone said that is what is done in Spain, well if its there culture, so be it. When has a marriage ceremony descended to this. Don't attend, let them eat their jollof rice on their own.
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puree
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@Tornadoz. If you don't have the money, or if you did not even intend buying a present(let alone give the money equivalence), how does that stop you from participating in your friend's wedding. i am sure there will be no collectors at the door, so you can still attend rather than saying they should eat their Jollof rice alone. Na fight , if you don't have the cash just don your coat, come and enjoy yourself. and for those who are ashamed of how little their cash gift might be, then don't sign your name on the back of the envelope, just give!!!, its the heart not the amount.Lets be real, enough pretence. |
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sisimose (f)
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geez what is the fuss, abegi just like when gifts are expected, it is not a must nobody holds a gun to your head to give a gift, same way no one holds a gun to you for money if that is what they want, it is up to you, these days more and more poeple give money as presents. My work colleague got married (scottish people) and they got over 500 in cash , these days people don't bother with gifts. so all this one you people are saying is not what is going on. Maybe in Nigeria i don't know, even the nigerian wedding i go to people give money. So to ask for the money instead of gift is nothing, makes no blind bit of difference. ABEGI, so much talk what is the fusssssssssssss |
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puree
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@sisimose
Please tell them!!!!!
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9ja4eva (m)
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Money / Gifts go.Hw did d person achieve this new trend?Did he print it on his wedding card " NO GIFTS PLS CASH ONLY".I wan laf die
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