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blacklion (m)
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@ adeboo yes, the trust is gone but trust can be rebuilt  But this will take genuine repentance and apology from the wife plus true love, patience and understanding from the hubby. It may take years to rebuild the trust and indeed, the trust may never ever be totally regained; but if this couple is willing, they can overcome the worst challenges to their marriage. But it will take a lot to get this guy's mind away from suspecting her of all sorts. He should try - at least for the sake of the kids. But if he cannot bring himself to forgive and forget, then he should move on without unnecessary delay so that the lady can get used to being divorced and the children to the collapse of their family home. |
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adeboo (f)
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True.
But why did the guy had to bring up the fact that he married her even though he knowingly knew that she had sickle cell anemia?
The fact is that he must have just married her out of pity.
Thats what i think.
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annamaria
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I think men get what they ask for. I don't know how you can date someone and even be married for so long and not have an inkling of her educational level. Didn't they ever chat or was it just shagging all the way between them? Some of the most memorable times of my life were uni and youth service and these are things that constantly crop up in my conversations with people. What about pictures? Besides, why all this confiding in "friends" who want to become super "advisers"? Typical of men, when they want a way out they look for some excuses and sympathy to justify their actions.
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blacklion (m)
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@ annamaria,
Like I said yesterday, when you love someone, you take what they tell you at face value - u are not going to demand that they present their certificates for you to verify their credentials. Secondly, it is not unusual for universities in Nigeria to withhold degree certificates for years after graduation due to bureaucratic incompetence. Some unis in naija even hold convocation ceremony several years after the student graduated.
I'm a guy. I don't find it incredible that the lady might not have ever graduated but withheld that fact from the hubby. Even if she did not attend uni at all but she knows the hubby has never been to Maiduguri and does not know any UNIMAID alumni, she can easily claim to have been to UNIMAID.
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blacklion (m)
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also remember that we have a lot of 'unregistered students' in naija campuses i.e. boys and gals who did not make JAMB but they deceive their parents and friends that they are in school and collect money. they live in hostels and pick up all the student gist and jargons. they know all the lecturers and campus stuff. if you might [and i have] you can nver know they are not real students. this lady may be one of those. the hubby trusts her anyway and if she can speak all the correct campus slangs, he will believe she truly went to uni. also, these days, you can buy fake call-up letter and nysc discharge certificate
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annamaria
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Alright, blacklion, I didn't take all that into consideration. In that case, a person who does that and leads the mate along for such a long time without speaking the truth is a true actress and deserves an Oscar for her performance.
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shylladear (f)
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I think the guy should forgive her afterall there are alot of other couples who keep such secrets even more serious and complicated ones from their spouse just because they are scared of losing each other yet they found a way to solve their problems and are still together, so he should forgive her. I guess she kept it away from him because she felt if she had told him the truth he wouldnt have married her. (all for love).  But the girl self nawao:  |
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