Would You Let Your Spouse Change You?

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Nairaland Forum  |  General Discussion  |  Family  |  Would You Let Your Spouse Change You?
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Question: May your husband or wife try to change you?
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Author Topic: Would You Let Your Spouse Change You?  (Read 2608 views)
yummy (m)
Re: Would You Let Your Spouse Change You?
« #32 on: January 10, 2006, 06:27 AM »

it's good to change for good but not change to please someone. that sounds muguish. just b yourself!
Jungle Queen (f)
Re: Would You Let Your Spouse Change You?
« #33 on: January 10, 2006, 08:18 AM »

#1 rule of a relationship, do not try to hide who u are. Hidding who u are won't allow the relationship last. Let the guy or the girl know your real attitude and behavior.

I am never going to hide my behavior just to please my boyfriend, never.
Ashbaby (f)
Re: Would You Let Your Spouse Change You?
« #34 on: January 10, 2006, 05:59 PM »

Quote from: Jungle Queen on January 10, 2006, 08:18 AM
#1 rule of a relationship, do not try to hide who u are. Hidding who u are won't allow the relationship last. Let the guy or the girl know your real attitude and behavior.

I am never going to hide my behavior just to please my boyfriend, never.
Three cheers! Well spoken! Being yourself...if only we all were, this world would be such a different place!
mizkay (f)
Re: Would You Let Your Spouse Change You?
« #35 on: January 11, 2006, 12:52 AM »

Quote from: Jungle Queen on January 10, 2006, 08:18 AM
#1 rule of a relationship, do not try to hide who u are. Hidding who u are won't allow the relationship last. Let the guy or the girl know your real attitude and behavior.

I am never going to hide my behavior just to please my boyfriend, never.

*clap clap clap*........That is straight talk girl - I feel you! You tell 'em..............pretense pretense, one day wind go blow, then we go see fowl nyash...... Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy
lifexpress (m)
Re: Would You Let Your Spouse Change You?
« #36 on: January 11, 2006, 04:06 AM »

Talk about a real reason why anyone would want to change the spouse; have u noticed that when at home spouses may ignore how they look and dress but as soon as they wish to go out, then they shape up for the kill as if to make the spouse jealous?
cheekee (f)
Re: Would You Let Your Spouse Change You?
« #37 on: January 11, 2006, 06:29 AM »

i won't him change me cause i think im alright th way i am,but i will agree with him to correct and guide me wherever that he finds fault in me!!!
christyne (f)
Re: Would You Let Your Spouse Change You?
« #38 on: January 11, 2006, 11:41 AM »

He can change me and i can change him positively and not negatively.
viviansam (f)
Re: Would You Let Your Spouse Change You?
« #39 on: January 12, 2006, 01:27 PM »

the only permanent thing in life is Change. It can be for better or for worse. But any positive change for the better in a relationship I believe should be a welcome development.
Ashbaby (f)
Re: Would You Let Your Spouse Change You?
« #40 on: January 19, 2006, 02:49 AM »

Quote from: viviansam on January 12, 2006, 01:27 PM
the only permanent thing in life is Change. It can be for better or for worse. But any positive change for the better in a relationship I believe should be a welcome development.
That's true. I wouldn't have thought of it that way. However, humans are generally resistant to change. It's possible to change, but it's not as easy, depending on variables like the intensity of change intended, and the new expectaion. Some things are easier to change...e.g, teaching your spouse to use a fork and knife instead of digging in with their hands. Those are easy...but behavioral....men, I wish you luck. Some are not easy...e.g, guy throws socks anywhere but in the laundry basket, girl leaves blow drier next to bathroom sink instead of the hook on the wall. Those are bearable, but let's go to other things like drinking and smoking. Some genuinely stop. But others just inhibit the behaviors, then when things start getting thick, that's when even aspects of the behavior that didn't exist before come out in full force. However, people do actually and truly change from time to time and we see them among ourselves. At the same time there's those that change for their spouses and really go all out when things go thick....you'll actually wonder who they are. And there's those that keep the behaviours in check. We can never be too sure, we can never know real well, but as vivianscam says, change is a welcome development....if it's genuine.
biglfather
Re: Would You Let Your Spouse Change You?
« #41 on: March 28, 2006, 03:32 PM »

 What will make amn to cheat on his wife in as much the Bible does not permit it and i want to believe that a man loves his wife that was why they got married
thupsie (m)
Re: Would You Let Your Spouse Change You?
« #42 on: March 28, 2006, 04:44 PM »

Hello this ia a man's affair not for the ladies!! As for me i would not allow that to happen to me because women  are flexible and weak in nature ! But a man will always be a man i mean adapt to any changes that comes his way, able to stand up to any challenges any day any time
THAT'S A MAN FOR You!!
ope_emi (m)
Re: Would You Let Your Spouse Change You?
« #43 on: March 28, 2006, 05:06 PM »

Can my spouse really change me?,na ,I don't think so.For us to be 2gether it is the actions of our first contact that tells us how we are going to approach each other again,in that case u might want to correct your first mistakes,maybe u were too forward,then u try not too be next time.
Then for you too be 2gether u will have too know what I like and what I don't like, then u correct each other.
So nobody as to change his or her character to be with the spouse,it just ain't right.
Rhodalyn (f)
Re: Would You Let Your Spouse Change You?
« #44 on: March 28, 2006, 05:09 PM »

i can't just put on some fxxking personality just to please someone Shocked Shocked :oif i do this, then that person wouldnt know the real me he would only know the other mewhich i think is very bad i am who i am and not what someone wants me to be i canm change my bad sides but obviously not who i am, my personality Shocked Shocked
eveseh (f)
Re: Would You Let Your Spouse Change You?
« #45 on: April 27, 2006, 08:28 PM »

maybe,
sammyjl (f)
Re: Would You Let Your Spouse Change You?
« #46 on: December 20, 2006, 02:49 PM »

If s/he cannot love you for who you are, than move on and what the hell attratced him/her to you anyways, if its not the fact that u were u and not what s/he wants u to be.

Ya'll gotta accept one another the way we are. Don't try to change someone for your liking, rather go and find someone who is like that.

Puleeze Angry
Busta (f)
Re: Would You Let Your Spouse Change You?
« #47 on: December 20, 2006, 02:59 PM »

its not right when one partner tries so hard to change the other and this is so common with naija people.
why not let the other ccouple change by themselve and if they really love u, then they'll compromise and
adjust to the other partner's lifestyle, likes and dislikes. Changing someone would always end at disaster.
ThoniaSlim (f)
Re: Would You Let Your Spouse Change You?
« #48 on: January 03, 2007, 08:19 PM »

i don't want anyone trying to change me cause i won't try changing anyone.i think you should know what you want and if you don't like certain characters in a person then no need dating someone with these characteristics and then try changing them to suit you.it just dosen't make sense.
enitan2002 (m)
Re: Would You Let Your Spouse Change You?
« #49 on: January 05, 2007, 09:51 AM »

we all in one way unconsciously change some of our habits that we know that are disgusting, once we find ourselves truly in love and not lust.
When we are truly in love, whatever we do is to put a smile across the face of the beloved one.So when this is done,both parties are doing it unconsciously,wheteher you we like it or not.
This is where nature takes control.
sammyjl (f)
Re: Would You Let Your Spouse Change You?
« #50 on: January 29, 2007, 02:02 PM »

 Undecided I wouldn't let my spouse change me, because thats the way he found me. Besides thats why he came to me aint it? I want to be with someone for who I am and for whom they are and don't want to change anything for their sake, and also vice versa.
tinuade001
Re: Would You Let Your Spouse Change You?
« #51 on: January 30, 2007, 04:36 PM »

Why not. that is why we have courtship before marriage in order to work on each other. and probably change some habit which you both knew its not good. since there is no Mr or Mrs perfect. i can allow my spouse to change me if there is any habit in me that is not good enough.
lizzy 47 (f)
Re: Would You Let Your Spouse Change You?
« #52 on: July 05, 2007, 05:49 PM »

it all depends on a lot of things
zubbiedan (m)
Re: Would You Let Your Spouse Change You?
« #53 on: July 11, 2007, 08:40 AM »

if it is 4 good Smiley Smiley
stephanay (f)
Re: Would You Let Your Spouse Change You?
« #54 on: July 11, 2007, 09:21 AM »

is it possible for a guy who lived an extravagant life in his single days to change once he gets married?

he clubs and is a social drinker, keeps late nites and has tonnes of friends.

but he says that once he gets married, all that will stop and if he feels a need to club, he'll be there with his wife.

how possible is this? Undecided
angel101 (f)
Re: Would You Let Your Spouse Change You?
« #55 on: July 11, 2007, 09:22 AM »

De King has said it all. To change a human being? hmm I don't think so. the person will only put up an act for sometime and before u know it, it's back to status quo and the problems begin to roll in.
As for me, I wont try to change anybody and no one should try to change me!
Soundmind (m)
Re: Would You Let Your Spouse Change You?
« #56 on: July 11, 2007, 10:31 AM »

If the change is for good, why not. Love is sacrificial and no two persons have the same character. I will allow her to change me for good if she can. Infact, if she can overhaul me and make a far better man out of me, i will allow her, but this does not mean i will become her handbag. I will still be the head and she will be the neck.
pek (m)
Re: Would You Let Your Spouse Change You?
« #57 on: July 11, 2007, 11:45 AM »

it is not the change that is important. what is important as why and how. the change should not be for the good of one but for the mutual benefit of the the two.we should remember tha change is constant.
pek (m)
Re: Would You Let Your Spouse Change You?
« #58 on: July 11, 2007, 12:00 PM »

it is not the change that is important. what is important as why and how. the change should not be for the good of one but for the mutual benefit of the the two.we should remember tha change is constant.
Dynast (m)
Re: Would You Let Your Spouse Change You?
« #59 on: July 11, 2007, 12:34 PM »

Have a seen a situation a girl changed a guy from being a drunkard,smoker and street fighter to quit those bad habits,
Was able to change a girl to quit hot temper.
Bad habits can and shld be abandoned when necessary by the assistance of a spouse
Mandora (f)
Re: Would You Let Your Spouse Change You?
« #60 on: July 11, 2007, 01:08 PM »

It really is not a question of whether u allow him/her change u, u'll just b adapting to the person if u say u love him/her and I believe he/she would b doin same if love is involved it's d only way d marriage would last and d only way u'll b able to enjoy stayin married.
sojioguns (m)
Re: Would You Let Your Spouse Change You?
« #61 on: July 11, 2007, 01:09 PM »

The issue of spouse changing the partner is an ego thing (I believe). I used to be of the impression that a woman would never change me but a relationship is at its best if both parties are open to change. Scratch my back i scratch yours. Nothing is better than a good wife. Who knows, the change might just be what is missing in your life. (Just my two cents)
Bolarge (m)
Re: Would You Let Your Spouse Change You?
« #62 on: July 11, 2007, 01:34 PM »

 D only change me I want now is from kobonaire to billionaire. Grin
Maximax (m)
Re: Would You Let Your Spouse Change You?
« #63 on: July 11, 2007, 06:29 PM »

Actually, life is all about change.

If my spouse can turn me round for better, then what's wrong about it?

I once wore a bushy beards, but my baby said it doesnt fit me. At first I resisted the idea, but when I tried wearing a clean shave, the whole world arround me began pouring compliments on me Grin Grin

On her part, she  wears moderate make-ups when we met, but since I prefer a natural beauty to any artificial painting, she stoped it and we are happy.

It all depends on the approach addopted beacuse some styles of correction can be counter productive.

Summarily, being open and willingness to make ammends, enhances compartibility afterall what is Love without sacrifice?
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