I Love Him And His Parents Hate Me Because I'm Not Nigerian!

@Etin

People need to realise that their experience, is just their experience. So because you knew a few individuals who  have been disowned for marrying outside of their clan, you paint a tribe of millions with that same brush? How many Igbo's actually belong to a clan in the first place? You set your mind not  to marry Igbo, that was your choice, your own perception and your own belief. You decided to disasllow Igbo's not the other way around.

There are plenty of Igbo's who are married to Igbo's from different areas in Igboland, married to other tribes in Nigeria, other nationalities in Afica and other races worldwide. If people widened their circle of friends, they would no longer interpret whole tribes through their own limited experience in life.

At the end of the day, the majority of Hausa's are probably married to Hausa's, the majority of Yoruba's married to Yorubas and Igbo's married to Igbo's, I don't know why people perpetuate this myth that Igbo's only marry Igbo's, while every other tribe in Nigeria is married to people belonging to other tribes.

Is that really the reality?

@ Ayesha, since you are not around his parents and he just told you they don't like you without a reason, its possible that you are in the dark about some issues surrounding his family? If I werec you I would not approach his parents, they may interpret it as rudeness.

Is he the youngest/or only son?
Is he very close to his mother?
It could be something as simple as handing something to them with your left hand, or the way you behave with their son in front of them. It may also  be something which you are taking out of proportion.

Either way, if I were you I would ask him to do or say something about it, or at least enquire as to why they don't like UTelling you they don't like you without a reason wasn't the right thing  to say IMO. He is supposed to defend you and make sure you are at least respected.

between, is this guy an Igbo? I know of a friend who just got married, Yoruba, the mother and the sister gave her hell. Some people feel noone is good enough for their child. don't let people here rope you into their tribal stereotypes, don't lose sight of the fact that these people are individuals.

Thats still just  your limited experience/exposure. It still does not negate the many Igbos who have married non Igbos does it? There are already married couples who have disproved your theory. The fact that you knew  Igbo's who wouldn't marry non Igbo's does not negate the fact that my Igbo sister is married to a Yoruba, my Igbo cousin is married to a lady from Benue state, my other cousin is married to a woman from St Lucia?  Their spouses are accepted.

I am Igbo, but I'm probably around more mixed marriages than you are, the very fact that many of these marriages exist tend to disprove your theory. Not only that, you now defend your own right to be just as excluding as the people you complain of.

In  Yoruba land  would you  find that the majority of Yoruba's there marry non yoruba people? What about Hausa land?

Your experience is never more than just your experience, as is mine, but when you preport to present it as some type of universal fact which you then live by and advise others of, it means you don't realise that how minute your own exposure is in the wider scheme of things. I don't mean to be rude, but rationality is the better choice than stereotypes and there is now way you can look at a subject objectively, if you had cemented your conclusion with a preexisting bias.

Do you really think that most Yoruba christians are married to non Yoruba Christians? Most Hausas are married to non Hausas, be logical people.

etin, etin, etin!!! how many times i call u so? u no know say igbos are nigerian jews? they don't inter-marry. anywho, the same can be said of many yorubas. i served in ogun and i learnt hhard truths about the ijebus and egba people. so before u start casting pebbles at people, make sure u get the facts right or else someone else will cast a rock at u  FYI: i am not igbo. my tribe is the most inter-tribal marrying tribe in all of africa because i have cousins of different mixed tribes and nations

I'm new here. No I am not African either. I've been reading and watching the rubbish in this post.  Ayeisha RUN. Run as far as you can and fast! You would have to be out of your mind to marry an African man sweetheart. Can you not tell by now that MOST of these posters are backwards by our standards??? Why do it to yourself??? I couldn't or wouldn't ever marry an African man.

As far as the slave thing goes, Nigerians (others too) are the ones who sold us down the river, not to mention their predisposition for white collar crime. The place is full of criminals and they talk about American blacks! LOL!!! No African EVER fought and died to have ANY rights over here (Americas) so why would you want a leech??

I don't know of one American female looking to marry an African man,  not one. So whomever entertains that thought have obviously never been to America and if they have they do not know any Americans. Period. Most American blacks think that Africans are dirty and backwards. Given that view point they do not seek them out as mates.

Also, don't you all know that marrying cousins can lead to retardation??? We figured that out a long time ago. Run away from this guy and his backwards, inbred culture as fast as you can and don't look back. If my words come across as ignorant, they are only a reflection of what I have been reading from these retarded people on this board.

I truly believe that the blight on Africa was brought about by my and your Ancestors for them selling us to the White man.  Don't believe for a minute that white people "Stole" us away. We were sold by Africans, especially the tribes that they are all speaking of and belong to. Now they are Pompous about the whole thing.

But guess what?? I'm willing to bet that this "Slave child" descendant lives in a better house, makes more money and has a better Education than the likes of Blue Nubian, Neelsel, 4play and their ilk. How is that for Pompous??? I mean come on??? They even think their English is better than ours and that Black Americans all speak slang! LOL!!! Come on girl open your eyes.

You must be living in New Orleans(Lousiana)

@na2day,

Thanks for helping her out of her ignorance.

Lol, leave Jaquio alone, he/she dislikes us so much, s/he deliberately sought out where we chat to eachother over the net, lol Buddy, if you want to be part of us, you are welcome. No need to masquarade your true intentions.

Oh what flattery, lol

G-Money

You are the only one that seems to get it . What I said was ALL for shock value because of what I have read on these posts. I wanted people to see just how ignorant they sound because that was exactly what they sound. between, I have a stellar education and am capable of expressing myself eloquently.

All that I have read are generalizations and assumptions on here.  I have TWO parents as did they and their parents and so on. ALL of them from the mid 1800S are University educated.  There is no shame in my direction. I would also like to stress that all of my peers, family friends and surroundings have always been upper middle class or better.  No one that I know has ever been to jail and none of us are from the urban ghetto. That's like saying all Africans live in the bush.

Also about the Jail rate, living in an all black Country you would never understand, but I heed you from making any conclusions unless you have lived here and experienced the hatred. That does not excuse crime, NO WAY, but there are many underlying factors involved. I mean You guys have the highest rate of HIV/AIDS on the planet, so should I conclude that all Africans are whores because of that fact?? I don't because I know better. Many here don't seem to be able to do the same. One thing is for sure,  I truly feel  I would be TOO afraid to have an African man from the Continent because of the high numbers of infection. That's Truth, right or wrong.

As far as New Orleans is concerned, I don't get it,  Are you referring to the Government doing nothing??? I hope it's not about looting, because if it is you don't  know any better. Most of the people were taking food and water and to me that is survival and not looting. I am not from there. I am from Potomac MD outside of DC.  I am currently in NYC.

It's funny how you all glorify white people. YES white women go After African men more than African American women do and African American women are not marrying Africans in any large numbers at all. You may know a few but not many. I think I know my people better than you do. We like to Glorify Africa but when it comes down to it, we don't want to go back and or marry to it. That is fact.  Ask an African American if they are African and 9 times out of 10 they will get offended.

Look I am African Amercan and Scottish (mixed) with an appreciation for African Cultures, but when I saw the original poster being attacked for asking what I thought was a reasonable question and giving her outlook from her experience, it upset me. Instead of explaining the cultural aspects of the situation they just attacked her.  You all HATE for us to bring up slavery and the fact that our root is there whether you like it or not and it is sickening.  I am not a "slave Child" I am a "descendant".   We have a lot to be proud of here.  Half of the things you use in your house were invented by us, not Africans. I'm going to stop because this not the direction that I wanted to go in. Ignorance is bliss.

London don't flatter yourself, I was looking for African Movies. No wonder I like the Ghanian Films better.

What jacquio needs to do is to associate more with Africans. Period.

Prejudice is not a good thing. Our brothers and sisters in the diaspora have been fed so much balderash by our common detractors that they now believe the lie.

In history EVERY race have had their problems but they get up from the pits off shame and then move on. Africa too will rise up again and move on. Our past is not just about the dark years of slavery. No it is not. Because as a people, both at home and in the diaspora, we are greater than that.

And we shall definitely move on. Together.

But our detractors relish in the prejudices, which they have engendered amongst us and which leads to such divisons as you find expressed in the vitriolic  statements-both intra-ethnic and inter-ethnic-abounding on this forum.

Jacquio has a right to be angry; but let it be an informed anger. Not one spurred on by blind hatred that have been fostered on naked prejudice.

Having said that, the link below testifies to the fact that some people are beginning to understand the problem.

http://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-64527.0.html

@ jaquio

i am extremely shocked at the fact that u are trying to convince us how educated and above average u and your family linage
are but i can assure u, u sound very deprived of common sense and certainly very short on any formal or informal education. your thought pattern shows a deep poverty of facts and an unusual confusion. your flow of eloquence are sewage rated, and i need not to tell u how wasteful they are  to this forum. your educated parents should be ashamed of your very uneducated self.

the only reason african americans feel offended to be called africans is because they don't have any real claims to any roots (lost identity). yes, the african american community is the only one in the states that can not say, we are origianlly from so so and so place, or i am jew, italian, mexcian, irish  etc. like u, your only claim is to scotland otherwise u did be as lost as the rest of them. just like u, i got scottish blood but i can still boast of being african, and a proud one at that.

spare us the "living in a black country" excuse; i live in the states and i have been to enough black communities to know that u guys are the laziest sorry asses i have ever seen, keep your excuses to yourself. u mock the africans that come over here to work and earn a living yet u will be the one that will stand by the road side and beg the same africans for money, "u got a dollar?";  the poor latinos come here from the border without visas and do all the dirty jobs and still live better off than most of u. if not for welfare, 70% of u guys will probably be dead. how many african americans that are youths today carry out any meaningful scientific research? go to black schools including colleges and listern to the so called educated youths, their ambition is never solid, always living in the clouds with no foundation, be real, thats why u never go far. check out for yourself and see who has the highest child support request in God blessed US of A. get on any airplane any where in the usa, and tell me how many african americans u see on it, but try going on grey hound, and u see them all over the bus not even behaving themselves; they come in with their loud mouthed selves displaying all kinds of moral depravity. as for new orleans, what i saw on tv were people stealing and it wasnt food! quit lying your ass out.

Aids? yeah, we got aids in africa, but if u can do a little bit of research and find out the region where aids is predominant, u will find that compare to the population of the rest of the continent, we got something to be grateful for. now, i strongly recommend that u stop reading international news and pay attention to your local news, then u will find out that the african american communities have the highest STD infections and transmission rate. who knows, u might be carrying something yourself. a word is a enough for the wise. oh, my bad, you're not among the wise.

@na2day,

Go on soun

Oh dear. . . .here we go again! People have discussed this marraige thing among tribes in various threads. 

Why is it popping up again??

IF you want to marry a man that lives by the waterside you have to learn to paddle a boat
If you want to marry a youruba man you have to learn how to go down on your knees, respect and humility.
No matter how much you respect me as a daughter-in -law, if i hear you talking disrespectful to my son, it is over for me.
What you consider as respect may not be enough for them. And always address them als mom and Dad, it starts from there.

Now to some folks hear. I just want to say every person deserves respect and marriages ae not made on earth but in heaven, and when God says yes and blesses a marriage, no man can say no. I also married a man from another country and this marriage has been blessed. I have a marriage that most people can only dream of with love and respect for each other. It took both families time but they accept it now and are happy for us.
You too can have such a marriage and I pray for you that  God will bind this marriage if it takes placve in heaven, because what God has joined together,  no man or woman can,