Sex: An Enigmatic Subject?

you know in this thread you people continued to prove why it's an "enigmatic" topic right?

all this talk of burning in hell fire isnt going to make people open up. The same people banishing fornicators into hell fire are usually the same that still wont go beyond missionary when they are married anyway.

Then of course you have the ever so self righteous ones who immediately believe that if you discuss sexual matters without blushing or with a ring on your hand, then you must be a prostitute. I guess the only way I can discuss the history of Japan is if I live there.

Anyway I guess if i have to go by that list, I'm NSR.

teach wetin? Me self, student. 

You work at a clinic osisi, I'm sure just by eavesdropping alone, you've learned enough. 

Add On:

Seriously though, my problem with very religious families is how in denial they are about sex. I guess that explains why most of the time their kids end up mentally disturbed. Why are they always so sexist too? I've never really heard of these people discussing how "honorable" it is if a guy waited for marriage too, always the females. why? Do the same words that concern fornication in the Bible not extend to males as well, what exactly is it? The same guys that complain about "sinful dressing Delilahs" are the same people sleeping with these same girls yet have the audacity to scream for purity and chasisty and how the word is so sex-obsessed, yada yada yada.
You mentioned in one thread that before your husband was saved by Christ, he had been with various women. I wonder if he had felt the same about you had it been the other way around and you too later was reformed through Christ. Highly doubtful

Hard as it may be why can't THEY have self control? Why is such a thing only placed on the women. We all go through puberty, we all have hormones, I know most people are in denial and ignorant but here's a secret: women have sexual urges too, why are they the only ones who have to supress until their wedding day? I will never understand.
You'd think these so called relkigious families will shed light on this but instead they lock the girls under lock and key and expect her to stay in the cage. Doesnt work that way.
You can be like "um sex is adult matters" and expect the child to forget about it and never be curious because they will be and they will end with the wrong information because they are so afraid to ask questions. What exactly is it that they (these parents) are afraid of? Would they really rather their kids come back with STDs then dare mention the word "condom" or pill in their homes?

you're in danger here of over-generalising. It is true that many religious familes are in denial about the influence of sex . . . my family is a good example. But none of us has ended up mentally challenged just yet . . . or maybe i'm in denial 
Fact - the parents may pretend to be in denial but the children are much wiser.
Fact - many religious families do open up eventually. At least my parents did when they felt we were old enough . . . the only problem was we were already a lot wiser.


Let's not decieve ourselves . . . its a man's world. (don't crucify me yet).
Men don't get pregnant, women do.
Men don't attach much emotional significance to sex, women do. It is perfectly possible to have sex with a woman and forget her within 2 mins . . . women tend to have a soul tie to whoever they have sex with.
No one expects to marry a male virgin . . . it is the dream of parents to give their daughters away as virgins.

It is all part of our culture that cannot be wished away simply by complaining. It is not true that parents don't expect their sons to be virgins, its just that in this day and age . . . how many parents are bold enough to ask their sons if they are having sex? My parents are strong christians . . . they wont dare ask. All they can do is hope and pray that their boys are keeping their zippers closed.
The bible does not discriminate when it comes to fornication . . . infact it is even stricter for men . . . he that looketh on a woman to lust after her IN HIS heart (not even touching) hath commited fornication with her already.  Based on this law alone even 10yr old boys are guilty of fornication.


who can blame him? All the while i was a nice little virgin, my friends thought i was crazy.
On the flip side we made fun of the very same girls they were sleeping around with. It indeed is an unfair world.


we have plenty of self control its just that our society expects us to throw it away to prove that we are now "men". Imagine the face of your girlfriend when u tell her u're a virgin . . . its like you're not normal or smth.


don't bother understanding. When you have boys and girls as kids you will unconsciously do the same thing.


i don't even subscribe to the idea of telling kids about condoms and pills . . . it is simply a license to have sex. Tell them not to. period.

First I didnt generalize, I said most not all  Secondly David, sharrap jo, you are not a virgin.

As for women get pregnant, quite a number of women who have sex and don't get pregnant. One of my good friends, she's Igbo and lol Catholic, she always gets mad when I make fun of the Catholic church, been having sex since freshman year in college yet to ever get pregnant, not even a scare, she just makes sure that she's protected. when she wants to settle down and have kids, I assume she will ditch the contraceptives. another irony considering the catholic church is against contraceptatives, but that's beside the point 

Personally I don't like getting into my life on NL much. I like TOH to be ambigious on Nairaland  but even though my parents werent fanatics, they were out there too which is weird because my dad's agnostic  80% of the time and my mom's semi-religious, they should just thank their lucky stars that my siblings and I didnt "yawo"  and we know enough despite the fact that they'd rather we be in denial. Knowing about all these things doesnt mean the kid will run out and take part in these things, they will just be knowledgable and i don't see any problem with that.
That's why you have some girls that believe the BIG lie of "oh if we do it just once, you wont get pregnant", if she was given the right info, would she believe such bull? Doubtful

as for women attach emotions, now that's a generalization. Yes we are alot more emotional than men (unfortunately), not all women attach emotions to sex. That USUALLY happens when the girl has immense feelings for the other, if not she can sleep with a guy and leave just like any other person. One night stands are not just a male thing.

as for male virgins, people make fun yea whatever but really it's not as crazy as some people make it seem. I myself can't stand man-whores. I don't subscribe to the school of thought that a girl can be called a slut but a guy can't. Both can be called sluts IMO and I have no problem expressing my distain for such people. What sane woman wants to be witha guy that has slept with half the country? seriously? That's disgusting. Doesnt make him a playboy, makes him a pig with no standards and grown mature women don't deal with pigs. Only teenagers are fascinated with such people.

It's ok that a woman should dream of giving her "gift" to her husband but she has to deal with his nasty second hand arse. How is that fair? Why can't she get a "precious" gift too? Lmao havent women suffered enough? Do we not deserve gifts as well?  O ma ga o.

I will leave it 

I choice the option of marrying one who agrees with me. 

or plan B: convent

OGBC Radioooo! 

where you take hear that one ehn? I for don convert to priest tey tey. 

With those boobs of urs only blind priests would choose a boy over u.

Wow! How quickly this discussion has grown!

I'll take time to digest the views from all sides first before dropping any of mine.

Cheers all.

In order to know virtue, we must acquaint ourselves with vice. Only then can we know the true measure of a man.

Eagerly waiting your contribution, pilgrim. 

A sensible conversation is better than hearing the same old lame "that's just the way the world works" nonsense from the usual hypocritical males.

Did they tell you why theyb are holding on?

Well one of them said

He was exposed to a lot of stuff when he was younger
that he even thot he would have had sex by 13

But He got thinking, he could actually live without it! such a revelation

And he really didnt want to mess up any other human beings life.

You and the rest of your brethen.

My friend, shouldnt you be doing something about the tarnished reputation of Naija males in Netherland instead of bothering me here? 

I myself consider into NSR come from my both parent (still alive) and maternal/paternal grandparent (now deceased) who are stictly VR.

I learned from my VR paternal grandparent who thought that i was TOO DUMB understanding about sexual stuff when i was about 6-8 yr old because of my deafness. Only one time! They grabbed my arm taking away from their living room I suppose watching the TV my favorite cartoon into their bedroom during summer times when school closed. I was confused not know what's going on! I thought i was serious trouble.

All of sudden, i was      seeing my paternal grandparent stripping their working clothes off hurriedly to get ready make love to each other on their bed. Everything A to Z. That's how I got bad influences gaining the knowledge of sexual and pest asking my parent, who is also VR, too many sexual questions without they know from what I saw.(i never tell them until my paternal grandparent deceased)

Reason my parternal grandparent did that, was because they were so paranoid to do if i wandered off their home surrounding LARGEST CORNFIELD and WILD FORESTS, back 1960s and 1970s there were no crimes around small rural farming area---no need to lock the house. That was dumb---what they thinking, but they never knew that i was addicted watching TV cartoon every morning and afternoon knowing what time it comes on---impossible for me to wander like that. Common sense to set their time schedule (sex needed they cannot live without) matchable with my TV schedule!!! lol! lol!

My parent sat down not comfortable answering my sexual questions, that's when they gave me their consent taking advanced sexual education at deaf residential school. One thing bad is, my parent never taught me properly about biblicals (stay virgin until married) until I discovered the truth too late before college graduation. My parent were upset me got pregnant 4 months before college graduation, that's what happen i evenually married by force and without love because they do not believe in wedlock pregnancy.

Today, as single mother of two hearing children, i determined to educate my children about sex education before they entering middle school to avoid too many misconception by peer pressure and false teaching. I left my rural church 4 years ago where there lack of providing me signing interpretion, to join big city church that provided deaf ministry fully sign interpreted to catch up what i left behind in Sunday schools, bible study, and all church activities/ministries/conferences i love to participated in. My parent astonished my knowledge of christianity that they felt bad to left me behind all my wasted years---they supposed to do.

I agreed with @lalife has said it all.

ask Adam n Eve how they knew what to do