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Razorr (f)
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Razorr, do you have anything to fear? if not then just fashi and go about your normal day to day activities. I think you should have some real talk with your boyfriend and let him know you are not down with him putting private eyes on you. That's invasion of privacy , boyfriend or not. If he doesn't see it that way, then you need to start thinking ahead. He might do worse things when you get married, once he has any reason to doubt your commitment.
The fact is this, even if you have nothing to hide, the private eye wants to earn his money and so will emphasize those little details like , the guy that gave you a hug in public (even though he hugged 3 of you at the same time), the guy who paid your cab fare (even though you were not the only one in the cab), the text messages on your phone (assuming he has access - even though there's nothing suspicious there) and due to the lack of trust from your boyfriend, he'll hear and believe only what he wants to hear and believe, and that's what he set out to find out in the first place.
Any relationship that's not based on trust doesn't deserve to exist. That's the bottom line. You guys need to talk.
My fear exactly!  |
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DewDrop (f)
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>:(Can u Imagine!?? @ threadThis thing has turned into a Dump him/Stay with him debate And I thought you were initially just curious about how thorough a Nigerian Investigative Agency could be Oh well, I still stick to my original idea- if you can read back to it. Talk to him and ask why he'D even think of such a thing. I'll bet there are other issues attached to his need to question you/your word you're a sharp lady, you'll be aiight!  Oh@ the lady that said "you think it is easy to dump someone, especially one wey dey abroad wey dey send things, probably an eligible young man" For real? Wow, I didn't know people actually thought like that! Someone "wey dey abroad" DOES NOT mean "eligible young man" LOL  |
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Razorr (f)
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This thing has turned into a Dump him/Stay with him debate
Maybe I should just create a poll. |
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DewDrop (f)
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Great Idea @ razorr
The options should be those 4 options i mentioned yesterday
Option 1) Dump him and don't worry about him investigating you
Option 2) Stay and keep your mouth shut and call his bluff
Option 3) Confess all your deep, dark, dirty secrets to him
Option 4) Confess something not too damaging (exam malpractice in JSS2) Grin, and wait for it to blow over
How 'bout it? |
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Razorr (f)
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Dang! Unfortunatey, I can't adjust the poll.  Seun, please can you help? I want to edit that poll! |
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DewDrop (f)
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Ehh, Anyway, I vote for option 4! Yup, #4  Look @ me , already faffing @ 9 in da morning! Nairaland has done it again!!  |
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IBB Fan (m)
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Razorr, there is no such agency in naija. brothers, cousins, family relatives are even too far. the average nigerian is a qualified and certified amebo. just to gain favor from a person living abroad in search of greener pastures, some neutral person might have even been telling him things. so, he's just trying to shake you. unless you're guilty, i don't see any reason why you should be scared or bothered. but remember you posted about you sucking j-girl's boobs last night.  his "P.I." might have even reported and sent the link to your bobo. you sef, you talk too much. my advice, don't dump him and don't continue with him. just leave him hanging!  |
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IBB Fan (m)
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i was thinking again. maybe he hired officials of Nkan Mbe or Crime Fighters.  |
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piscean (m)
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i bet there are a million and one guys in naija that would beat this guy hands down when it comes to love, affection, money, time and everything in between. Girl from me to you,one advice- give this guy a reason to regret he ever mentioned such a thing to you by faking a break-up and wait for his reactions
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t0kunb0 (m)
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@topic dnt no d effectiveness of any " NIGERIAN detective agency", dntt think dey'll b usin surveillance cameras, buggin ur line, trailin u, "hi-tech" ways sha, because ur close friend/colleague/relative/gateman/house-help(someone inside sha) 'D do a better detective work dan a "private detective". cost-benefit wise!!!! it aint worth it xcpt don't think u should c it as an FBI kindda thingy, hope u get my point y's b/f bin "detective"  ? c if u can answer d question not accussing u of anitin because i fil ur clean , what's d essence? what's he going to do with d findings/report? how long r u going to b watchedpersonally, its all rung sha u don't need 2 dump him |
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tushlips
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The only detectives ur boyfriend has or is about hiring are ur close friends so be careful what ur are about saying or doing lately jst try and be discreet as much as possible.u shld'nt be worried if u are not playing foul game and if u are and u care so much about this overseas boyfriend of urs they give this a serious thot weigh ur options and make a decision.in my own opinion this guy maybe serios and care about u thats why he told u this.he is NOT WORTH DUMPING.remember u alone can make a decision that best suits u so be careful because whatever u do may make or mar u.ALL D BEST AS U SEEK ANSWERS.
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DewDrop (f)
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 @ IBBAlakoba! But seriously, how unfair to him- to 'just leave him hanging' or 'fake breaking up'!? Playing that middle is very dangerous and in the end would only harm you. You might think you have good 'ol reliable. You wait till you're 38 and are through leaving him hanging and faking breaking up He feels he's been left hanging/ broken up with and moves on, You return to find another woman in your place, You realize you are now officially OVER after several attempts to reclaim the love You start singing Heather Headley's "In my mind", Mariah Carey's "Always be my baby" You return to Nairaland to post the upsetting news We spend days debating, voting, comforting you I think you catch the drift Whatever you do, Never play games with someone's emotions like that! |
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Razorr (f)
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Tokunbo, to answer your question, I have not done anything to make him suspicious of me. He is just scared because he has friends who have experienced horrible things at the hands of Nigerian girls. He is just trying to be careful (at least, so he says).
I told him after he told me about the detective was that he was a freak! I still can't believe it!
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t0kunb0 (m)
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@ Razorr my girl's in sch faraway  , i give her d impression her actions are been monitord. i cal her close frndz,coursemates,room-mates frequently. dey don't no it but collectively dey make a wondaful detective/fact-finding/authentic team (public or private, Nigerian or otherwise) y do i do it? she's way 2 priceless 2 me, woulnt want anitin 2 go rung wifout knowin. although i trust her very much, i don't trust d " other guys" that might wnt 2 av her, those who get 2 c her evriday. d survelliance doesnt chase them away, jst like EFCC wont stop 419, but i guess it kipz me unworried/settled. its rili notin 2 wori bout, guys always want 2 no what their girlz do bhind their backs because dey alot bhind d girlz bac which dey can't & wont take from d babe  never said u had skeletons in ur cupboard!!!! @ dewdrop nice point |
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Seun (m)
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I told him after he told me about the detective was that he was a freak! Yes, calling him a freak will definitely help your relationship. You can call him a mugun or idiot. That'll also help. |
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Razorr (f)
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Seun, if I catch you, ehn! Yeye boy! |
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DewDrop (f)
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LoL @ SeunRazorr- Calling him a freak- NOT NICE!He's insecure about the relationship- which is normal. I'm sure you too might want some info on who he is, what he does, what he's done e.t.c. BUT watch out before it becomes a controlling/possessive issue But please sort this thing out today! I don't think I can stand another poster asking you: "What skeletons u have in your closet" LoL And let us know what he says. Would you believe me and the boyfriend got into a discussion last night About private investigations of each other? Talk about Nairaland taking over! |
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Damy (m)
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I don't know why a guy will go that far just to save his relationship, i wonder.
but if he really did that it means the girl must be precious 2 him.
GIRL UR PRECIOUS 2 HIM.
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DewDrop (f)
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Okay now, he's not trying to 'SAVE the relationship, 'just 'effing with you! Relax- I think he just likes seeing you squirm about this whole thing Tell him to go ahead, and that you may or may not be doing the same. And just let it die there! Electronic surveillance my A$$ That just pushed me over the edge! With the incessant light outages- where's the command center set up? |
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Damy (m)
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@ Damy
don't let it get 2 ur head, there are many fine, as in fine girls with good background and well educated over there, any were he is so i want you to be carefull because am going through that kind of stage in my life.
A girl i love,
A girl i want 2 be with,
A that means alot 2 me,
A girl that confess to me and my friends that am her all in all and she will wait 4 me anywhere i go.
So girl be awake. All that telecomms of a thing is just 2 make u always think of him.
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Damy (m)
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If he instest on telecomms surveillance, girl get a new underground line and keep the phone line away from him. |
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onome02 (f)
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Hi Razzor, ur question is a very interesting one with even more interesting answers, first of all, I don't believe private detectives do exist, in nigeria that is, if dey do, they're investigations can't go very far because der'll be too many delimiting factors, ok? so don't believe a word he's saying and personally, to me i think you should forget about him totally, get someone new who will love and respect you for you ok? take care bye.
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debosky (m)
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for a freak like you who likes sucking on other women's boobies, electronic surveillance isn't enough, he should do spiritual surveillance as well |
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Ayd (m)
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i think u should also hire one on him too
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FactorChic (f)
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abeg no waste your time with this rubbish Dump his insecured ass! what's a relationship without trust? abi u send person make them dey watch him abroad too? u know wetin he dey do there? please dump his ass and move on! he even had the guts to tell you he sent agencies whatever DUMP HIM! |
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simmy (m)
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y don't u want him to chek u out if u havnt got sumthgn to h
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hannydarl (f)
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Your boyfriend is daft why the hell will he tell you such a thing?Maybe he heard stufff about you ,confronted you and when you denied his accusation he told you he will soon find out the truth as he has hired detectives to check UAnyway if you are innocent and you told him so by denying his accusation and he still suspects you of cheating on him i suggest you LEAVE the reletionship because such a guy can kill you in future if he feels he has "genuine" facts that you cheated on him i am sure you don't want your life to end with a news caption like: WOMAN BEHEADED BY JELOUSE HUSBAND FOR BEIGN "TOO FAMILIAR" WITH ANOTHER MAN. monittoring you doesnt mean he loves you it means he dosent want his investment to go down the drain he sees you as his investment not as his beloved sweetheart.
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