My Boyfriend Has Hired A Private Detective To Investigate Me!

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Nairaland Forum  |  General Discussion  |  Romance (Moderators: mukina2, debosky, iice)  |  My Boyfriend Has Hired A Private Detective To Investigate Me!
Poll
Question: What should this chic do?
Dump him! He is a freak! - 36 (69.2%)
Stay with him! - He realy loves you! - 16 (30.8%)
Total Votes: 52

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Author Topic: My Boyfriend Has Hired A Private Detective To Investigate Me!  (Read 2888 views)
Hugoboi (m)
Re: My Boyfriend Has Hired A Private Detective To Investigate Me!
« #32 on: April 18, 2007, 02:17 PM »

it show one thing for sure and that is he does not "trust" u.D fact that d dude stays abroad and goes all through all the stress of gettin a private eye to watch u says d fact that he prolly believes u are messing around.In my honest opinion,i'D say dumpin him wouldnt solve the problem.It'l only reassure him that he was right afta all, >>try working on ur r/ship>>I hope sumn positive comes up
IBDat (m)
Re: My Boyfriend Has Hired A Private Detective To Investigate Me!
« #33 on: April 18, 2007, 02:18 PM »

Quote from: Razorr on April 18, 2007, 01:57 PM
Does that mean such agencies truly exist in nigeria? If yes, then are they efficient?  Huh

If you haven't done anything wrong why are you concerned?
Let him do what he pleases you will come through it as white as snow, then he would owe you an appology.
If you stay with him know TRUST will always be an issue in yo relationship.
j-girl (f)
Re: My Boyfriend Has Hired A Private Detective To Investigate Me!
« #34 on: April 18, 2007, 02:22 PM »

Don't dump him yet. You should thank your stars that he even told you, that is if he is serious about it. Just watch him and see what this "private detective" comes up with. He just has his doubts.
donenick (m)
Re: My Boyfriend Has Hired A Private Detective To Investigate Me!
« #35 on: April 18, 2007, 02:31 PM »

Hey SweetHeart
If u know u love ur guy and u'r not cheating on him, then free ur self over the issue

And I can assure u that he has not set any thing like private detective investigation on u
is only trying to know how faithful u are to him, He loves u

All the best
Hugoboi (m)
Re: My Boyfriend Has Hired A Private Detective To Investigate Me!
« #36 on: April 18, 2007, 02:33 PM »

Quote
He just has his doubts.

Doubts don't arise witout facts backin 'em up.I'D say watch ur back because sumone has been doin sum snitchinunless he's telekinetic
spora (m)
Re: My Boyfriend Has Hired A Private Detective To Investigate Me!
« #37 on: April 18, 2007, 02:37 PM »

Eni se nkan efufu lara nfu,

You are confusing us!

You have not cheated on him
Yet you do not want invasion of your privacy
Your husband-to-be is invading into your privacy?
Do you mean you have a privacy you don't want him to know about
Even if the guy is fighting a psychological war with you, you have lost in your defence
abiodunade (m)
Re: My Boyfriend Has Hired A Private Detective To Investigate Me!
« #38 on: April 18, 2007, 02:40 PM »

D guy is a BIG joker
Razorr (f)
Re: My Boyfriend Has Hired A Private Detective To Investigate Me!
« #39 on: April 18, 2007, 02:40 PM »

Spora, have I said anything about wanting to marry him?
babyosisi (f)
Re: My Boyfriend Has Hired A Private Detective To Investigate Me!
« #40 on: April 18, 2007, 02:44 PM »

Quote from: spora on April 18, 2007, 02:37 PM
Eni se nkan efufu lara nfu,

You are confusing us!

You have not cheated on him
Yet you do not want invasion of your privacy
Your husband-to-be is invading into your privacy?
Do you mean you have a privacy you don't want him to know about
Even if the guy is fighting a psychological war with you, you have lost in your defence

not so fast.
She called him a boyfriend.
If this guy is just a boyfriend,he really has a nerve to want to keep tabs on anyone.

Did you say he lived here in the USA.
For all you know he probably has an akata wife and a couple of kids
You may need a PI too before he starts talking marriage
He may already have an heir
mukina2 (f)
Re: My Boyfriend Has Hired A Private Detective To Investigate Me!
« #41 on: April 18, 2007, 02:51 PM »

Quote from: babyosisi on April 18, 2007, 02:44 PM
not so fast.
She called him a boyfriend.
If this guy is just a boyfriend,he really has a nerve to want to keep tabs on anyone.

Did you say he lived here in the USA.
For all you know he probably has an akata wife and a couple of kids
You may need a PI too before he starts talking marriage
[b]He may already have an heir
[/b]

thanks babyosisi .
he  wants to hire a PI to watch her when she doesnt even know what he is doing where he is Angry
RuuDie (m)
Re: My Boyfriend Has Hired A Private Detective To Investigate Me!
« #42 on: April 18, 2007, 02:55 PM »

d P.I. is probably one of ur neighbours -- don't think there's any such agencies here in naija; if there is, how on earth they even going to start tracking ur movements in a system where keepin records is d last thing on peoples minds?

my sister, no shaking jo, d guy jus dey carry u play & even if I'm dey serious, e no be ur papa. abi I'm don already drop 1/2 of d bride price? Grin
chinenye B (f)
Re: My Boyfriend Has Hired A Private Detective To Investigate Me!
« #43 on: April 18, 2007, 02:57 PM »

That means he doesnt trust at all.Something is wrong somewhere.Check whether he is not cheating on u then.Maybe he's doing something funny and doesnt want u to do same
tade2k2 (m)
Re: My Boyfriend Has Hired A Private Detective To Investigate Me!
« #44 on: April 18, 2007, 03:00 PM »

There are very efficient private invesigators in Nigeria I have come across a couple of them,For your Boyfriend to have  hired one for you shows that there is no Trust which is the main fabric on which any relationship is built between you two,and my advice to you would be if you have any thing which you think might implicate you,discuss it with him if he really loves you  he would forgive you .
Razorr (f)
Re: My Boyfriend Has Hired A Private Detective To Investigate Me!
« #45 on: April 18, 2007, 03:02 PM »

tade2k2, please can you mention the agencies you know of in Nigeria? Do they have websites?
joyblinks (f)
Re: My Boyfriend Has Hired A Private Detective To Investigate Me!
« #46 on: April 18, 2007, 03:07 PM »

maybe the trust is no longer there because he has heard some gists that she now cheats on him. as for the detectives, i don't think we have such detectives here in Nigeria but he might be referring it to your friends, anybody around u. it seems u don't love him so why not just go out of the relationship. because if the guy finds out, he will be the first to dump ur ass.

guys on nairaland, ona sef no fit tell this sista better thing,
tade2k2 (m)
Re: My Boyfriend Has Hired A Private Detective To Investigate Me!
« #47 on: April 18, 2007, 03:12 PM »

I have forgotten the name of the exact ones I came across.but if you type 'private investigators in nigeria 'in your yahoo or goggle search you would get the contacts of a few.
but note that what they do mainly is trailing you and atimes using electronic survaillance systems on you like listening in on your conversations
tade2k2 (m)
Re: My Boyfriend Has Hired A Private Detective To Investigate Me!
« #48 on: April 18, 2007, 03:16 PM »

The best advice really, like some people have said already is "DUMP HIM FAST" get him out of your life,but  why are you so scared? got some Bones in your closet?
joyblinks (f)
Re: My Boyfriend Has Hired A Private Detective To Investigate Me!
« #49 on: April 18, 2007, 03:18 PM »

like i have said, those private detectives might be your friend, his friends, ur brother, the malam beside your house or even your house girl. whoeva. so beware oh
RuuDie (m)
Re: My Boyfriend Has Hired A Private Detective To Investigate Me!
« #50 on: April 18, 2007, 03:21 PM »

@ razorr,

don't get so worked up 'bout this, i'm pretty sure he's just foolin around with u about the P.I. bit --- if indeed there's someone checkin on u it's someone u both know like Joyblinks noted; & be sure 2 talk 2 him 'bout it 'because u seem riled by the very thot of someone keeping tabs on u !
Razorr (f)
Re: My Boyfriend Has Hired A Private Detective To Investigate Me!
« #51 on: April 18, 2007, 03:21 PM »

Quote from: joyblinks on April 18, 2007, 03:18 PM
like i have said, those private detectives might be your friend, his friends, your brother, the malam beside your house or even your house girl. whoeva. so beware oh

But how would the malam near my house or my house help know whether I have ever had an abortion?  Huh
oyb (m)
Re: My Boyfriend Has Hired A Private Detective To Investigate Me!
« #52 on: April 18, 2007, 03:26 PM »

razorr,
you are so keen on finding out about if there are agencies, how you can contact them .

it appears to me that you want to preempt your boyfriend by contacting the PIs directly and compromising them(no be naija we dey?).

i think u are not telling us the whole story.what did your boyfriend/fiancee( i don't think u'D give two bits if he was just a boyfriend)  find out , and what did you tell him when he asked you? maybe you should come clean with him. if he can't deal with it, then call it quits.you're 21(or so your profile says) , the clock can't be ticking that loudly. its better late than never. you can't keep looking over your shoulder for the rest of your life. you'll only warp your neck.
diddy4 (m)
Re: My Boyfriend Has Hired A Private Detective To Investigate Me!
« #53 on: April 18, 2007, 03:27 PM »

he just wants to lock that space between your legs up so no other object will be allowed to pass through it except his "private" one.
DewDrop (f)
Re: My Boyfriend Has Hired A Private Detective To Investigate Me!
« #54 on: April 18, 2007, 03:28 PM »

LoL @ topic
Clips of Cheaters: Nigeria flowing through my mind!
If you boyfriend hired someone to investigate you,
There might be BIG trust issues?
And from the question, I'll guess that you might have something to hide.
This is tough because like joyblinks said, it could be anybody who knows you
Luckily, you have options:

Option 1) Dump him and don't worry about him investigating you
Option 2) Stay and keep your mouth shut and call his bluff
Option 3) Confess all your deep, dark, dirty secrets to him
Option 4) Confess something not too damaging (exam malpractice in JSS2) Grin, and wait for it to blow over

May I just add that in a truly healthy relationship, your word is your bond and if he doesn't believe your words in reference to your past and 'background', and to the extent where he's threatening to hire a private investigator and you believe it enough to query about the existence of such businesses in Nigeria, I would suggest Option 4, especially if you have things to hide- and you my dear, sounds like you might have things to hide.

 Cool
RuuDie (m)
Re: My Boyfriend Has Hired A Private Detective To Investigate Me!
« #55 on: April 18, 2007, 03:28 PM »

that's why i say u no get reason 2 shake, abi u been tell anybody d time wey u go do d abortion?
RuuDie (m)
Re: My Boyfriend Has Hired A Private Detective To Investigate Me!
« #56 on: April 18, 2007, 03:32 PM »

DewDrop
u sure u don't have practical experience when it comes 2 such issues 'because ur break-down is juicily succinct!
Razorr (f)
Re: My Boyfriend Has Hired A Private Detective To Investigate Me!
« #57 on: April 18, 2007, 03:32 PM »

I do not have cockroaches in my cupboard!

How many times to I have to shout this?  Angry
RuuDie (m)
Re: My Boyfriend Has Hired A Private Detective To Investigate Me!
« #58 on: April 18, 2007, 03:35 PM »

Ok, ok calm down; its alright,  we're on ur side; we believe u - but u're not helpin matters yourself!
Razorr (f)
Re: My Boyfriend Has Hired A Private Detective To Investigate Me!
« #59 on: April 18, 2007, 03:38 PM »

how?
DewDrop (f)
Re: My Boyfriend Has Hired A Private Detective To Investigate Me!
« #60 on: April 18, 2007, 03:40 PM »

@ Razorr
Ok
Ok
Ok
You don't have anything to hide from him! Sorry!!
But seriously, why the curiosity? (which was specifically directed at pregnancy termination?)
Well then, you should question him on why he distrusts you so much?
Why the need to hire someone to investigate you?
A bit of reverse psychology- Ask him how he would feel if you did the same?
With a shaky voice & teary eyes, ask him if he know how it makes you feel?
And then wrap up with a very sad-
"i just don't know how someone would say such a thing to someone they love"
because seriously, he's dead wrong for the idea even crossing his mind!

@RuuDie
LoL, I just have an active imagination is all.
Honest!

 Cool
puker (m)
Re: My Boyfriend Has Hired A Private Detective To Investigate Me!
« #61 on: April 18, 2007, 03:45 PM »

She just cooked this up. A private dictective, how did you discover, whats the name of the organization. this is just to show how Nigerian Gals think we can be so week. Pleeeaaaasssee. watch ko!
oyb (m)
Re: My Boyfriend Has Hired A Private Detective To Investigate Me!
« #62 on: April 18, 2007, 03:46 PM »

Quote from: DewDrop on April 18, 2007, 03:40 PM
With a shaky voice & teary eyes, ask him if he know how it makes you feel?
And then wrap up with a very sad-
"i just don't know how someone would say such a thing to someone they love"

 

u are a mistress of the game!!!
adeboo (f)
Re: My Boyfriend Has Hired A Private Detective To Investigate Me!
« #63 on: April 18, 2007, 03:47 PM »

I don't think such agencies exist in Nija.
He probably asked a family memeber to watch you like a hawk.

Its not rite but he must have had reasons.

But i suggest you tell him you are getting someone to watch him too and put the shoe on the other foot.

Lack of trust in a relationship really doesnt work.
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