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alladin
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How Do You Make Her Understand?
How do you make a lady understand you and just appreciate you when all you try to do to please her never impresses her and yet she sometimes call to say she misses you when she's far from you but when she's close she doesn't want you close to her. How do you make her appreciate you, I ask again?
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jogego (m)
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If said woman cannot make up her mind, then 'fashii' and look for someone that will appreciate you.
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legs (f)
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maybe she just has some issues that she needs to deal with, if she calls you when you are away she may really miss you maybe she is on a guilt trip you guys need to work out some way of communicating
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tayotina (f)
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Alladin, let me answer your question this way. Personally, there are some guys that I maintain a distant relationship with. What I mean is we only talk on phone. They sometimes ask the same question you are asking now.
My fear is, should they come close to me, I might not like them anymore. When I don't hear from them for a long time, I start missing them. It's not as if I don't appreciate them but like I always tell them, I would love for us to maintain a distant relationship. They understand me and I appreciate them for that. They don't impose themselves on me and that is why I even like them more.
Maybe guys should learn to understand ladies at times. It's not as if we don't appreciate you, we do. At least we can't live without you guys. But if a lady tells you she doesn't want you close, just try and understand her.
This is my opinion. Sure, others would have theirs too.
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legs (f)
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isn't that kind of unfair on the guy to wait until its ok 4 you to get close and to step when u are fed up, sounds like a puppet.
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tayotina (f)
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Legs don't get me wrong. These guys are just friends. No intimacy, nothing. It's not as if we can't get close but like I said earlier, my fear is that I might hate them. I enjoy chatting with them on phone.
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legs (f)
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then maybe alladin needs to clarify exactly what kind of reltionship he has with this chic in case she was only saying she missed him just because she had nothing else to say
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tayotina (f)
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Well Alladin, please help us out.
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jogego (m)
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Legs don't get me wrong. These guys are just friends. No intimacy, nothing. It's not as if we can't get close but like I said earlier, my fear is that I might hate them. I enjoy chatting with them on phone.
you might hate someone you get close to? Damn now I have heard everything |
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tayotina (f)
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It's possible Jogego.... It is.
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Ra (f)
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@ alladin, if you permit, I'll be very blunt and say that this sounds like a typical case of babe 'using' guy to me.
If she professes her feelings and tells you how much she misses you ONLY when she's far from you, it suggests that she feels safe far away from you, safe enough to say those things and not have you at her door asking for a serious relationship. When you're together, she's back to been the Ice Queen.
It's very common. Some girls have what we call 'Insurance Policy'. They're with other guys but keep another who really likes them on the tenterhook, thinking should something go wrong with the other guy they're with, they only have to call and you're there. I might be wrong, but then again, I might be right.
I suggest that you take out time to study the lady in question and be very honest and objective with what you see. If the above narration describes her, you, my dear, deserve better. No one deserves to be used.
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ezinne1212 (f)
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Personally, there are some guys that I maintain a distant relationship with. What I mean is we only talk on phone.
My fear is, should they come close to me, I might not like them anymore. When I don't hear from them for a long time, I start missing them. It's not as if I don't appreciate them but like I always tell them, I would love for us to maintain a distant relationship.
I am a lot like that. I think as a woman, sometimes you just need space to breath. Some guys think we need to be around them 24/7. That is not the case, at all! @alladin: As for how to make her understand, well you've got to try and accept her as she is and come to some kind of compromise. Let her know how you feel, and go from there. It's the only way to resolve matters like these. |
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Seun (m)
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Alladin, the problem is very simple. The lady as 'classified' you as a friend, and she values your friendship. Due to a faulty understanding of the nature of healthy romantic relationship, she is afraid that if she gets romantic with you the romance will eventually fail and she will lose your friendship also. Unfortunately, there is absolutely nothing you can do to fix this problem, sorry. Unless you leave her for maybe 12 months and then when she's really feeling your absence, you come back as a Romeo and not as a friend! Because, where dating is concerned, women value [a]drama[/b] and romance over stability, loyalty and faithfulness, which are qualities of a good friend. Where's Femi (our resident date doctor) when you need him? |
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angel2k (f)
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hi alladin ,i think you're misunderstanding some ladies here, because i think some ladies just want 2 maintain a distance relationship because of d fear dt when they come close d guy will take d opportunity 2 ask them out,which some don't want .
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Flint (m)
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hi alladin ,I think you are misunderstanding some ladies here, because I think some ladies just want 2 maintain a distance relationship because of d fear dt when they come close d guy will take d opportunity 2 ask them out,which some don't want .
Then why doesn't she SAY SO instead of keepin him in his misery. Beware, u may not know what u have til u lose it |
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Seun (m)
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They always say it; it's just that we don't hear it. If a lady says, "we can be just friends", I think it's clear what she means. If we start saying what they say seriously maybe they'll start saying what they mean!
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shockreaction (m)
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Dude, you really need to move on and find someone who appreciates you. And here's an interesting read for you and well, everyone else: The Ladder Theory |
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hot-angel (f)
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Legs don't get me wrong. These guys are just friends. No intimacy, nothing. It's not as if we can't get close but like I said earlier, my fear is that I might hate them. I enjoy chatting with them on phone.
you might hate someone you get close to? Damn now I have heard everything It is so possible. I mean like if you see them once in a while and talk on the phone alot, you like them so much, but once you start seeing them everyday, you will be like 'why won't he leave me alone?'. |
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ashley (f)
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act so friendly and she would get close 2 u, keep calling her.
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Greatpeter (m)
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Do you know some are just adamant and if you keep calling and writing if they won't appreciate you there is nothing you can do to make them appreciate you. It's just too terrible!
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kazey (m)
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act so friendly and she would get close 2 you, keep calling her.
I wish it was that easy.  . But i like the difficult hard to get type , nevertheless. Makes the whole process fun. |
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twinkledew (f)
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be very nice and let her know that your love is genuine. not fake  .ok as for me it all depends on me mood tho |
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mmomi (f)
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Twinkledew, the girl in question may be afraid and confuse not knowing the real guy. because all(guys) tell her they love her.How will she know the real person?
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chrisd (m)
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Try to make her appreciate you. Won't work. Don't even try.
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kaylala (m)
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If she does't appreciate you the way you are,please tell her lies.They enjoy it better when you tell them that but you have to be careful. 
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