20 years age difference - does it really matter?

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Nairaland Forum  |  General Discussion  |  Romance (Moderators: mukina2, iice)  |  20 years age difference - does it really matter?
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Author Topic: 20 years age difference - does it really matter?  (Read 7129 views)
dablessed (f)
20 years age difference - does it really matter?
« on: June 18, 2005, 02:13 PM »

Hi folks, i was just wondering - would u go our with someone about 20yrs older? If yes, how do u intend to manage the relationship? If u're in an existing relationship and your spouse is at least 10 years older, please lets have your contribution.

I went for a walk about half an hour ago and was approached by an old  man- as in old enough to be my dad. Here goes our 2-minute conversation:

Old man:  'hello'

dablessed: Hi

Old man: Nigerian?

DB: yes

OM: Ok, r u ok?

DB: {walking away} yes thanks

OM: Please wait, i just like u and would want u to be my friend.

DB: {Laughing} but u're old enough to be my dad

OM: It doesnt really matter, i promise to take care of you, at least better than all those youngsters.

DB: {laughing} Oh! it does matter to me SIR! Bye

OM: Byeee!

dominobaby (f)
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter?
« #1 on: June 18, 2005, 06:33 PM »


well well well, 20 years older than i am? i can't imagine maself, ehn? that would be like a "sugar daddy" hell no!
I sure does matter because i like to relate like a friend to him and that aint possible because i would see him as an uncle. I can't be proud to date such person.
dablessed (f)
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter?
« #2 on: June 18, 2005, 06:46 PM »

Thanks ojere dominobaby, don't mind the old papa, telling me "it aint matter" . He's just an agbaya ojere. But i want to believe he's not the only man on this planet that has ever approached a girl, young enough to be his grand daughter. NairandHIS where una dey? Esoro now, ( make una talk) will u toast a lady u're 20yrs older than or will u support one? Talk o! Talk!
mamba (m)
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter?
« #3 on: June 18, 2005, 06:52 PM »

If you're 18, 20 or 25 and He's 38, 40 or 45 then it's ok.....

My cousin is 42, handsome, unmarried, rich and cool, just like a 25year old guy. He has so many girlfriends between 19 and 25years that would do anything to be his wife so 20years between don't matter (IMO)
funmibaby (f)
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter?
« #4 on: June 18, 2005, 07:59 PM »

Me i dated someone who was 10 years old than me o and i would do it again.  All that matters is the relationship you have between the two of you and the conversation between the two you.  With my ex, i would even say he was my soulmate.  Too bad, it just didn't work out. 

I would have to say though, he didn't approach me like a pervert in the street........
Ra (f)
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter?
« #5 on: June 19, 2005, 11:03 AM »

Umm dating someone significantly older is something that has been on from time immemorial. My dad (of ever loving and blessed memory) was 17 years older than my mum and they remain the best matched couple I have ever seen.  17 years and 20 years sounds the same to me.

I'm with someone who is 10 years older than me and absolutely prefer it to my last relationship where the guy was merely 2 years older and, needless to say, without a clue. 

Now would I date a guy who is 20 years older?  It would very much depend on the circumstances. A guy 20 years older who approached me in the way and manner the man in question approached you, a definite no! Nothing turns me off a guy faster than the condescending words 'I'll take care of you'.  Implying that I look impoverished to him or could do with better care or what?

Other equally vital issues also come into play such as 'how will my family cope with a guy who's older than all my siblings and a mere 5 years younger than my mum?'  'Is he married, divorced with children?'  The list is endless, really.

But then again, this is simply my personal opinion.
CorporateNija (m)
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter?
« #6 on: June 20, 2005, 01:19 AM »

Well I see no reason why a girl can't date a man much older than her. I am actually the product of such a relationship, and don't see where the problem is since they are still happy together. What really matter is the chemistry not the age. Love can transcend generational differences. Obviously I'd expect thata man that's so much older would apply more finesse and have a better approach that blurting out his intention in such fashion.
Angelgal (f)
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter?
« #7 on: June 20, 2005, 10:15 AM »

Mamba, please I mean no disrespect, but that 42 year old rich and handsome cousin of yours, what is he waiting for or is he not the marrying kind? Abi he wants to be a dad at 50? Unless he already has kids shaa..
tayotina (f)
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter?
« #8 on: June 20, 2005, 10:43 AM »

20 years ke? Never!! Then on my wedding day, people would start asking why my daddy is in suit??  Huh  Abeg!!!!!
Ra (f)
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter?
« #9 on: June 20, 2005, 05:26 PM »

tayotina......... you're something else.. Grin
mamba (m)
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter?
« #10 on: June 20, 2005, 07:20 PM »

Quote from: Angelgal on June 20, 2005, 10:15 AM
Mamba, please I mean no disrespect, but that 42 year old rich and handsome cousin of yours, what is he waiting for or is he not the marrying kind? Abi he wants to be a dad at 50? Unless he already has kids shaa..
Me I don taya for the guy sef o!
I've even tried to hook him up with so many cool pretty girls but the guy keeps using them and refuses to marry any of them. When I got into serious yawa with the last chick(she almost killed me) I arranged for him ( He slept with the girl, made promisses and dumped her) I decided to fashi the guy o! I don't want yawa from any girl because of this old player.
Maybe because he still looks cool (if we're walking together, people think we're friends and that he's 28 or something), that's what's deceiving him sha! The guy needs deliverance o! abeg help me pray for him o!!!
Pinky (f)
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter?
« #11 on: June 20, 2005, 09:29 PM »

well well well! AM  short of words.. so much age difference in a marriage?
well am a product of such a marriage!.... DAD + MUM = Pinky
Seun (m)
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter?
« #12 on: June 20, 2005, 09:55 PM »

Dad+Mum = Pinky?  I am so surprised; I thought you were delivered by a stork!
IAH (f)
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter?
« #13 on: June 20, 2005, 10:01 PM »

Quote from: Pinky on June 20, 2005, 09:29 PM
well well well! AM  short of words.. so much age difference in a marriage?
well am a product of such a marriage!.... DAD + MUM = Pinky

And Pinky + Pinky Bear = Pinky Junior!
Pinky (f)
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter?
« #14 on: June 20, 2005, 10:05 PM »

Quote from: IAH on June 20, 2005, 10:01 PM
Quote from: Pinky on June 20, 2005, 09:29 PM
well well well! AM  short of words.. so much age difference in a marriage?
well am a product of such a marriage!.... DAD + MUM = Pinky

And Pinky + Pinky Bear = Pinky Junior!
thanks my dear, i pray so
Pinky (f)
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter?
« #15 on: June 20, 2005, 10:07 PM »

Quote from: Seun on June 20, 2005, 09:55 PM
Dad+Mum = Pinky?  I am so surprised; I thought you were delivered by a stork!
i don't get seun, stork as in......?
Angelgal (f)
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter?
« #16 on: June 21, 2005, 08:22 AM »

Pinky no mind Seun....trying to bring in oyibo mentality into our naija gist....

The oyibos have a myth or fairytale or whatever that the stork (It's a bird by the way) delivers babies the way you get courier mail from DHL.....

Now this explanation is wack.....but I think you understand what I mean now.... Grin
tayotina (f)
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter?
« #17 on: June 21, 2005, 09:15 AM »

Quote from: mamba on June 20, 2005, 07:20 PM
Quote from: Angelgal on June 20, 2005, 10:15 AM
Mamba, please I mean no disrespect, but that 42 year old rich and handsome cousin of yours, what is he waiting for or is he not the marrying kind? Abi he wants to be a dad at 50? Unless he already has kids shaa..
Me I don taya for the guy sef o!
  The guy needs deliverance o! abeg help me pray for him o!!!

Don't worry mamba, let me have his phone number Wink
dablessed (f)
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter?
« #18 on: June 21, 2005, 02:35 PM »

Calling for help! Let's organise a deliverance service for Mamba's uncle o! Right here in the forum!
mosiate (f)
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter?
« #19 on: June 21, 2005, 04:55 PM »

i can only date a man who is 20yrs older than me if only he's going to be my aristole or sugar daddy for the main time,but i can never marry him oooooo
dablessed (f)
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter?
« #20 on: June 21, 2005, 05:43 PM »

Quote from: mosiate on June 21, 2005, 04:55 PM
I can only date a man who is 20yrs older than me if only he's going to be my aristole or sugar daddy for the main time,but I can never marry him oooooo

Mosiate, i fear u o! Be careful with your  Aristo ::)s o!
mosiate (f)
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter?
« #21 on: June 21, 2005, 05:48 PM »

dablessed don't fear me oh,i don't have any aritole yet, i'm just thinking of having one,maybe mamba uncle will do. Roll Eyes
dablessed (f)
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter?
« #22 on: June 21, 2005, 05:59 PM »

Quote from: mosiate on June 21, 2005, 05:48 PM
dablessed don't fear me oh,I don't have any aritole yet, I'm just thinking of having one,maybe mamba uncle will do. Roll Eyes


Why an Aristole? And why Mamba's uncle? Doesn't it matter to u  that even Mamba himself said his uncle needs deliverance? You no fear?
mamba (m)
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter?
« #23 on: June 21, 2005, 07:26 PM »

Tayotina/Mosiate

I know you are both fine babes as per your posts and I'll only warn you to stay away from this guy o!

You might be thinking of Aristo runs but this guy doesn't look like a sugar daddy in any way.
He looks very young, well built, handsome, sexy and got $$$, charm & style.
By the time you start rolling with this guy, he'll lead you on and you'll start falling for him, the guy knows how to play his game well and he's very deceptive with his cool, and calm way.
He'll just  tap your arse till he's tired and dump you like garbage regardless of how pretty you are.

The last girl, my (childhood friend) has refused to talk to me for 3months now because of this guy, she keeps saying that I planned it all just to mess up her life because I was the one that did the arrangee! besides, there are two other girls on my neck too...

The guy is based in L.A but comes to Nigeria regularly for trips....
If you still want to try something funny we can continue this jist via PM, I'll give you his number abroad or you can just wait till he comes to Nigeria before X-mas.
I'm sure if I tell him there's one pretty/sexy Tayotina or Mosiate chick that wants to meet him , he wouldn't even mind travelling just to have fun.
But I just want to remind you that I'm not a part of this deal and whatever happens, I'm not to be blamed because I'm already in enough yawa for now.
Even his old momsie (my Aunt) has tried to hook him up several times but he always uses them and dumps them sadly.......
dablessed (f)
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter?
« #24 on: June 21, 2005, 07:32 PM »

Ha! Omase o! The guy needs deliverance for real. Tayotina/Mosiate, una still wan try? You no go flee?
sage (m)
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter?
« #25 on: June 21, 2005, 07:57 PM »

At 42. thatz too bad. I guess the western lifestyle has influenced him so bad he does not even know that he is going down the drain. Arrainging chicks 4 him would not help him realise himself mamba. He needs to be told to wake up. if he were 26 and playing it is understandable but 42! There is my friend here whose uncle is over 50 and still sleeps in ahotel every night, does not have a degree, family or good job. All he is intrested in is woman after woman each night at that age.
Pinky (f)
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter?
« #26 on: June 21, 2005, 08:45 PM »

mamba, your uncle's really going down the drain like sade said.. he's got misplaced priorities..... & if u re not careful, u re going to get part of curses rained on him by those girls u do arrangee with for him.. if your uncle doesnt realise his mistakes, very soon, he'll be wallowing in self pity.
mamba (m)
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter?
« #27 on: June 21, 2005, 09:28 PM »

Quote from: Pinky on June 21, 2005, 08:45 PM
if you re not careful, you re going to get part of curses rained on him by those girls you do arrangee with for him..
I know so and I'm no longer a party to arangee for him..
Pinky (f)
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter?
« #28 on: June 22, 2005, 12:43 AM »

Quote from: ciara on June 21, 2005, 11:39 PM
speechless,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,em,em I live in a hotel nd these things happen 2 me nd my sistrs like erday,,,I
ciara why not tell us your own personal experience since u said it happens to u everyday in that hotel u re sleeping in
legs (f)
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter?
« #29 on: June 22, 2005, 07:37 AM »

Quote from: ciara on June 21, 2005, 11:39 PM
well only girls like tayotina would do,them ova matured girls,ts 2 bad,tina you should b old enof 2 settle dwn,,,thnk bout it nd dnt spred em legs 4 a grey head,,ud loose your beauty + ud age real fast...

shuwepps!
mosiate (f)
Re: 20 years age difference - does it really matter?
« #30 on: June 22, 2005, 09:20 AM »

mamba,why is your uncle like that or are you just trying to paint him red,any way that doesn't make me to change my mind,a trial i know will defintely convince me.(na joke ohooooo) Grin
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