Managing Your In-laws

Wiseguy, why are you washing your dirty linens in public? No matter your reservations about your mother, gosh, it should not aired for the public to listen to. True that sometimes marriages breakdown due to the intrusion of marriages, but at times, it is the wife's fault.

Kangu, are you from Zambia?

@ Ndipe

I wonder where you are driving at. I did not state that I hate my mum. Infact, to tell you the truth my mum's behaviour has really helped me in life and have taught me a good lesson and that is "to look before leaping". Someone needed an advice and I am driving my point home to air my advice properly so people can understand. And why people bring out there problems in a forum like this is because this is where they can get an open and frank advice simply because nobody knows who or where the other person is. So I really don't see how what i posted became an issue for you. When you read people's post, confne yourself within the context of the subject of discussion instead of attacking, distracting and discouraging innocent posters from airing their truthful and objective views on issues.

My advice to young couples like mine is that they should know when to draw the line, respect your in-laws and don't allow whatever problems you have get out of the four walls of your bedroom. Stand behind yourselves; that is the key.

Finally, my mum will always be my mum and i will never trade her with all the gold in the world. Her actions or inactions has helped in no small way to shape me into a man that I am today. She singlehandedly raised me and my siblings, maybe that made her tough but  i am very  grateful she is like that. it is actually a blessing in whatever.

and what exactly is wrong with him using himself as an example of how him and his wife deal with their inlaws? I found it very cool of him to share his experience. If you are the kind that can't do the same, that's your problem, why attack someone that is willing to do such?

as for your last line, I bet had it been your mom who treated wiseguy's wife that way, you would have believed all the lies and sent her away thus "blaming the wife"

again Pitiful.

Why is everybody jumping on the bandwagon that it is always the inlaw's fault when a marriage breaks down? That is not always the case. Knowing my mom, I can recall her stance that she will never be a meddling sister-inlaw in anybody's marriage. At times, there are some women who would try to isolate their husband from his family because of what?

Well, some married women do have siblings, so what is your problem?@thiefofhearts.

No, the rules have not changed. don't twist words around. I used my mother who was never a meddling sister in-law as an example. As of the time she made that statement, she wasnt a mother-inlaw.

I guess that's good advice.  It won't change them, but it will make them easier to bear.

Interesting Topic i must say,

i think before the issue of marriage comes up, inlaws should be considered, because whether we like it or nit, they have a part no matter how minute to play in any marriage.

also many marriages have crumbled because of these so called "in - Laws". i very much agree with some of what has been said especially by wiseguy, buy we must also know that sometimes it aint that easy and people r different,

Bottom line,  shine ur eye well before marriage,

  we shld treat our mother in-laws the same way we treat our mothers,by so doing, we would have little or no problems with them. also, we should also commit all we do into God`s hands ,this does not exclude our mother in laws! chikeena!s

 u see, i am  a Naigerian, Pure naija, a lady . In-laws are indespensable as far as Naija is concerned, to make it ''better'' i am a yoruba girl, from Ife.
i am not married, not even engaged, but i already love my unknown in-laws, that is the only magic that i think it would work for me, love that speaks tolerance!