My Boyfriend Buys Me Buka Food!

It's all about having the right boyfriend who will come to your workplace to visit instead of sitting at home pouting.

seems like you are indirectly looking for a way to get rid of him. Guys can pick up the vibe too and that may be the reason for his acting difficult.

@ jesusfreak

thanks for correcting some of my wrong assumptions and yes it'll take nothing from me to say i'm sorry but it just went far to prove a point i've been emphasizing on here forever.

I think people, when they want to put up a personal topic for discussion, should be very narrative. When you come and put up a semi-story (a story that is more or less incomplete), what do you expect people who get on when you're offline to do This is a cyber world where you talk from the written expressions, now when the written details are left wanting . . hmmm

I've always been for relationships and their improvements, that makes me straightforward and honest about whatever i think about it, even when it hurts, the truth should prevail
But i do apologise for my few wrong assumptions on "page 3 of this thread", i thought you were students, apparently i was wrong

Now here's my view:
Darling even when some are now giving you some relationship advice to see if you guys have some pieces that could be picked up and made new, you're insisting on "a no way out" formula.

What do you expect us to think?? that you love this guy with all you got, and don't want to live without him?? that its him or noone?? that you guys are a perfect match, the bad days of "buka" notwithstanding?? Kind of impossible to !!

Dear, you've quoted the handwriting on the wall, now put it to action. Its obvious you guys bring yourselves more insatisfaction, pain and dissappointment than necessary.
Its OK with a different-views relationship, but then not when communication,compromie, meeting each other half way and understanding is lacking If you ask me you guys don't have "it", and to me it seems you guys are just tormenting yourselves in vain, crying over "spilled milk".

I really think its time to get going, i believe you'll be both happier with someone else. Remain friends for old time's sake but put an end to the misery-of-a- relationship!!!!

So much's been said really, what I'll just add is that you guys have got to sit down together and sort things out really. For a relationship to work, there's got to be enough communication, which i think is apparently lacking here. If you are interested in making it work and worthwhile, you guys have got to speak to each other with understanding . . . . .     

I just couldn't help but  when i saw some responses to this dilemma, don't know if it's a dilemma anyways. First off I would say you need to sort out your priorities and trust me I would gladly accept some nice iya basira food, lol. Maybe the guy no get money for tantalisers and you wey dey work, I guess u should pop into the posh restaurant or chinese place on ur way to his house and maybe get you both something to eat. Who no like better thing and maybe you could try buying him something as well, trust me na with shame him go take run go store get you nice gift. Relationships be give and take, not give, give and give

my advice:
next time you visit him, bring some cash along with you and take him out to the nice restaurant you like. pay for it  if he's stingy/ broke or just poor. lol
maybe he'll get the message from that and be the one to ask you out the next time.
just tell him you feel like going out and tell him you'll pay for it.

see how he goes and you can come back and tell us what happened, if it failed etc and we'll see how we can help. lol


i totally get where you're coming from. but I just think you should be able to tell him this blatantly w/o him getting mad. just tell him when he's about to go out to buy buka food "i don't feel like eating buka food today. come with me to the restaurant, i'll pay for it if you want" simple as that. If he gets mad, that's his problem.

abi o. We shouldnt despise the days of small beginings.  Even if he can only give you garri, drink it with love.

Here here.
And the brilliant thing is that he didnt give her garri and epa o - he gave her a real palatable meal sha-there is just no pleasing some people.

Me i will eat the food with extra love and affection - cause am a 'iya basira' baby maself.

But seriously, maybe he can't cook and he knows thats the qquickest way to feed you.

cook together; where? Is it in America abi in Africa? Romantic? Is funny how our brothers forget what obtains in our country once they enter the airports here in Nigera.  By the time they reach obodo oyinbo them don no know wetin dey ground for we country again.

@spoilt, while she is cooking the food, i'll be giving the children a bath or perhaps doing some ironing - but that is me. I don't like TV in any case but the average nigerian man will not even be at home talk less of watching TV. He will be in the bar with the boys and once he calls and the food is ready he is cruising back home to enjoy the wife of his youth. AMEN

That man na yeye man. Which bar with which boys? Better stay indoors and keep your wife company, when trouble starts those "boys at the bar" wont be there to help you settle it.
If she goes to the bar to be with the girls now you will be up in arms.

Eeyaaaaa, I feel u ma baby but thats not enough for you to feel bad, anyway, I did be dying 4 a nice threat had i been a female like u, how romantic,at least he even buys u food, thats a great sign to show you he cares at lest to an extent, ON the other hand, as a guy i did like my girl to provide the threat that comes with sumptiuosness by making the food a home affair cause it did be more romantic, try this out maybe it will help UNLESS maybe u don't cook well, holla

na wetin the guy get na him he give u so manage am like that e go better. if he has he go try better ok. na from samll things them they take get big one and na from this kind condition lkike this u go no better pickin

Aint u Lucky, got a boy friend that buys you something at least, my ex boyfriend was just different, i used to do the buying of all we ate including buka food, mr biggs and even cooking in the house. I did all the buying and cooking and spent all my money on him. I was a real maga to him then. MY birthdays were story days because he never had money to buy anything, imagine how my friends used to laugh way back then at me. Vals day was another thing entirely, In our 4 years relationship i can count how many things he got me on the tip of my fingers,but am sure i spent a fortune on him.So because you don't know other peoples problems does not mean yours is the worst, at least he buys you stuff when you are hungry. When i used to go to my ex house then, we spent my money on food and i still gave him money when i was leaving in the evening. (i can hear someone saying fool),but u have to learn, now i don't think i can spend a dime on my current boyfriend without collecting it back somehow, though he wont know.
Except you have other reasons for pulling out, buka food is really not an excuse.

@ Jesus freak
My observations to your question
1. would u ever complain if your boyfriend have bn takking you to nice places like ( golden gates, TFC, Mr biggs, S.S and other beautiful places).
2. Next time he ask u to go with him to a bukateria, take the money from him and quickly dash to a neraby market and prepare something lovely for the both of you.
3. there is no law that states the guy must do the buying, take him out for a nice treat and watch his reactions
4. u also have to consider the finances of your boyfriend, who knows if he working or not. and i believe all that matters is love , trust not the location  of where u hang out.
5. just take out time to study what / who ur guy is.
6. last word, if u can't stand the heat in the kitchen u better get out fast ( it simply means that, if u don't like an iya basira boyfriend, it will be more difficult marrying/ leaving forever with an iya basira hussy)

My question is DO YOU LOVE? if yes then I think the only thing you can do is make sure that before you leave your own house you eat enough food that can sustaine you before coming back, and immediately you get their advise him to let you go buy some stuff from the market to cook. I think by you doing this it will make him to change his mentality of going to buka to buy you food.

Alsoi think you have to make your feeling open to him, because if you don't, he will never know what hut you and what put you off.

I think if you can do all this then their will surelly be a change. OK
keep on loving him and appreaciate Him for whom he his.

Thanks
papa
papabaks@gmail.com
08065057606