Born Again Courtships

Most of our chuches, especially, the penticostal churches are always against having sex with your spouse before marriage. These doctrines are good, but most times, there are more disadvantages seen in this after the wedding than the latter. These include:-
1. finding out that either of the patner can't satisfy the other in bed.
2. finding out that the man is impotent.
3. others.

also, it is seen that in some marriages whereby the woman gets pregant before the said wedding day and the church finds out about this and decides not to wed them. i feel this is bad because, wouldnt it be more sinful for the couples to abort the pregnancy because of the church.

Although it is our religion, but most times, the church been humans should be realistic at times, or what do u think about this nairalanders?

i think this is a very valid question but unfortunately its one that is run away from by most pulpits or Christian leaders. Like everything else , i will say the "Manual" will be the best place to look.

i will tell you my own PERSONAL experience about this as i think my situation covers ALL the questions you have asked.
i am married to a lady whose dad is a very well known Pastor here in the UK and even all over the world (do not ask as i will not tell! LOL)
we started off as friends and i really was not even interested in women at the time. we became good friends and when we started developing feelings for eachother, we decided to make it official. we dated for a year before we got married and we did not have sex during that time.
was it hard? hell yeah!! LOL body no be firewood now!!! but to be honest, we held back and as difficult as it was sometimes, we managed to keep apart till after the wedding. ironically after we got married, we were too tired at the end of the day to do anything! hahahahhaha, so the first time we had sex was on our honeymoon (which was more romantic on a carribean destination than in freezing UK!)

i am a very active person sexually (with my partner!!!!!) and so i had questions that i needed answers to PRIOR to us getting married and sex was very high on the agenda! we talked about what each other likes and does not like. our views and conclusions on things like oral sex, contraception, how many kids, when we wanted kids, what if we could not have kids, etc! how do you go into a LIFELONG CONTRACT with someone without first making sure that you are entering into an EQUAL partnership!?!?!?!?
the keys to any successful relationship  are mainly three things; 1. Communication, 2. Sex and 3. Money! (read "communication, sex and money" and it goes into more detail) so i will advice that you discuss everything you want to know PRIOR to "signing on the dotted line"

after we got married, we tried for a baby with no success. my wife had a total of 5 miscarraiges and we were starting to really get disheartened about the whole thing. as we had already discussed this issue prior to getting married, we decided to try IVF then we discussed it again and came to the conclusion that IVF was chickening out so we prayed and by refusing IVF, we settled in our hearts where our trust was, and 9 months ago we had a lovely baby boy, perfectly healthy and full of life!

so you see that there should be NO topic that is taboo prior to a marriage!!!!! if you do not ask, you will not find out!

"my people are destroyed for lack of knowledge" does not mean biblical knowledge if you ask me.

Just my 2 cents worth.

Peace!

I'm just wondering one about this one nowadays. Most people seem to base the durability of their relationships more on the question of whether or not their partners could 'satisfy' them in bed.

Is that the big decider for a relationship to move forward? 

If truely we 've signed up to follow the Lord and the paths he has prepaired for u, then we should drop what we ve seen and heard to follow him.
Remember God is the creator of Sex, infact He gave us sexual desires.If he can tell to abstain till we get married, then He has a reason for that.It also means we can do it, because He would not ask us to do what we can not do, or what will harm us.
Remember our obedience to God will always result to fullfillment and much blessing not dissapontments per say.
Let'stop looking for reasons to excuse us from our wrong doings.
Marriage is honourable when we obey God.

@thesilent1
I have started clapping for you and will continue clapping for you until i have no hand.
Your answer solved my problem to a very great extent. God bless you.